xp_logs | Jay & Amanda

Lines are crossed, boundaries are breached, and rules are broken. Amanda conjures the spirit of Kevin Cabot, who reassures his Josh that his death is on the hands of his father and his brothers, not Jay himself. Much with the sap and melodrama but, well, you know how people in love can be, even if one of them is dead.

The rest of the evening had been pure hell for Jay. He'd spent it all in his room, staring at pictures of Kevin and flipping through his journal, as if he was trying to resurrect Kevin in his mind. Just before curfew, he went up to the flyer's platform so that he wouldn't set off the alarms trying to leave the mansion so late at night. When midnight finally came, he flew down to where he and Amanda had agreed to meet.

The meeting place was the clearing Angelo had found at one point, well away from the mansion and from the boathouse, where prying eyes might catch them out. There was still a layer of snow on the ground, half-melted from the warmer days earlier in the week but crusted over now in the midnight cold. Amanda had already done the preparation, drawing the circle in the snow with a stick, then adding powdered chalk for the colour. She looked up as Jay landed, face pale but composed. "You still wantin' t' go through with this, then?" she asked, half-hoping he would say he'd changed his mind.

Jay nodded resolutely, even though he wasn't so sure. This would be the first time he'd see Kev since August, and the last time until either Kev really came back to life or Jay died, whichever came first. "Yeah. Just tell me what Ah need ta do."

"Sit there," she instructed, pointing to a spot on the other side of the circle to her. "An' don’t move while I'm doin' the castin', or break the circle. These sorts of spells... sometimes it's not just the person you're after that comes back." She knelt down on the folded-up blanket she'd brought out - kneeling in the snow was more masochistic than she was wanting to be - and pulled out her PDA. Forge had uploaded his version of the spell to the database that afternoon, with a minimum of questions - sometimes his obsession with the way things worked, rather than the ethics behind doing certain things came in handy. "This is a different version of the spell t' the one I used last time. 'S quicker. But there's still some stuff, tests, sort of, that I have t' do. So no matter what you see, don't move while I’m doin' the spell, all right?"

"Y'all ain't gonna be pukin' up snakes, are ya?" he asked, sitting down where she'd indicated. He wrapped his arms around himself, cold because he didn't have a jacket (not that they'd fit over his wings anyway). He hoped this wouldn't take long.

"No snakes, no," Amanda said with a brief grin, recognising the reference, before setting about the serious business of doing this. Carefully she pulled the cross from out of her jacket pocket, wrapping the chain around her hand so the cross hung free over her knuckles. "Right, let's get this show on the road." Taking a deep breath, she began.

The spell was shorter, but because she was providing all the power herself, it was harder, more demanding. Luckily they'd skipped all the parts about asking permission... The ancient Egyptian words came more and more harshly from her, and around them the darkness deepened, until the circle and the two teens were a small island of light in the surrounding blackness. Gritting her teeth, Amanda continued, the circle beginning to glow faintly as something began to form in the centre of it.

"Kev?" Jay almost reached out to grasp the shadow, but remembered what Amanda said and withdrew his hand. He was shaking, whether from the cold or from nerves he wasn't sure.

The pooling cloudy shape paused, as if sensing Jay's presence and intent, before continuing to gather in the centre of the circle. A column of light-grey smoke, twisting and writhing upwards, as if in great pain. Or great reluctance.

"I call upon the spirit of the departed, invite him to cross the gap," Amanda chanted, switching to English as her Egyptian failed her. Magic was coursing through her, burning almost like fire... Sweat poured from her, even though her teeth were chattering with the unnaturally deepening cold. Then she cried out as a low menacing growl sounded around them, and great slashing claw marks appeared, tearing through her clothes and into her skin beneath. "By the power in me, and the love this man holds, I bid you, Kevin Cabot, cross over!" she continued after a moment, closing her eyes against the pain. She could feel the blood running down her skin, knew this was real, not an illusionary thing. "I hold your token in my hand and call you forth!"

The smoke roiled and thickened, slowly forming a vague humanoid shape. Amanda opened her eyes, and Jay saw they had gone completely black. "Kevin Cabot, I call you forth," she repeated, her voice unnaturally deep and resonant.

Okay. When Amanda said that this was intense? She was lying. Intense didn't begin to cover this. But he could see the black figure growing into Kevin, his Kevin, so he silently cheered Amanda on. "C'mon, babe," he said quietly, "Ah can almost see ya."

A sacrifice. These sorts of things always demanded a sacrifice, and that wasn't something Forge could program out. Pulling her pocket knife from out of her other jacket pocket, Amanda drew the largest blade lightly across her left wrist, the same hand as held the cross. "By my blood, by this token, by his love, I call you forth and bind you to this circle," she intoned, still in that weirdly deep voice, not even flinching at the pain. The blood dripped down onto the snow, red against the dirty white, hissing a little in the eldritch cold. The smoke shape shuddered, and then seemed to contract in on itself, dissipating to reveal a figure, slightly transparent, but none the less recognisable for that.

"K-Kev?" Jay stuttered, standing up and approaching the transparent young man floating above the center of the circle. "Christ, is that you?"

It turned around slowly, and blinked when it saw Jay. It wore a look of confusion and reached a hand out. "Josh? What did you do?"

Jay tried to take the hand, but he passed right through it. He frowned, but stepped closer. The thing looked like his Kevin, spoke like his Kevin, and was wearing the same pair of denim shorts and wifebeater he was wearing back in August. Jay's lips trembled, and he fought not to burst into tears like a baby. Amanda had done it. His Kevin was back. "Oh, baby, Ah've missed ya so much."

Kev looked around. His movements were agonizingly slow, as if he was moving through water. "I should be dead. I thought I was dead. Why am I not?"

"Ya see Amanda over there?" Jay replied, pointing at the witch. "She brought ya back. Well, only for a few minutes, 'cuz that's all she can do. She's a mutant, y'know? Does magic and stuff. Ah'm here at Xavier's, where mah brother and sister go. Mama sent me here after everythin' happened."

"Emphasis on the 'few minutes'," Amanda managed to grate through clenched teeth, hand wrapped around the cut on her wrist. The strain was building - still manageable, but not for long. "Cut t' the chase, lads."

"What happened?" Kevin asked. "I don't remember."

"We were in the clearin'," Jay explained. "And your papa and your brothers found us. There was some yellin' and then they attacked me. Ah guess ya thought that they done killed me. So when they left, ya took me to the lake and tried ta kill yourself too. 'Cept that mah wings and mah voice ain't the only things Ah got. Ah can also heal. So you drowned, but Ah woke up." He couldn't stop the tears now. "Kev, ya killed yourself for me. We told each other we'd be together forever, and when ya thought I was dead, you tried ta follow me."

"Josh . . ." Kevin's voice was getting softer, and he seemed to be blurring around the edges. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Ah know ya didn't, babe. Ah just . . . you're gone now and there ain't nuthin' Ah can do about it. Ah can't even kill mahself ta join you. Ah tried that, but Ah kept healin'. Ah can't live without ya, Kev."

"You have to," the ghost said softly. "You do. And you can, I know you can. This wasn't your fault, you know that, right? I'm not dead because of you, I'm dead because my family hated. But I love you, Josh, and I'll always be looking over you. I'll be your pervert guardian angel, watching you in the shower and stuff."

Jay tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob instead. "Ah'm sorry Ah couldn't do a better job protectin' ya like Ah ought to've."

Kevin smiled and caressed a ghostly hand against Jay's face, the sensation sending shivers down Jay's spine. "You're the best lover I could ever have dreamed of. I should go now. Your friend can't do this much longer. Goodbye, Josh."

"Goodbye, Kev. Ah love ya, too. Always." He reached up and tried to kiss the apparition, even though he knew that he couldn't touch it. When lips met ghost-lips, though, Jay could swear that they were warm and wet. Kevin disappeared as they were still "kissing."

Amanda's head had bowed during the scene, her hair hiding her face. As Kev's spirit disappeared, she sighed, slumping as she let go of the spell. When she looked up, the gouges on her face were mostly gone, her eyes returned to their normal colour, but her skin was chalk-white and a thread of blood was running from her nose. "I'm done," she said faintly, the words barely audible. "Hope it was enough." And without further sound she toppled limply sideways into the snow, out cold.

Jay nodded, the lump in his throat preventing him from saying anything. He stood in the same spot, staring at where Kev had just been, hugging himself to keep from shaking, and did not even see Amanda collapse for at least a couple of minutes. "'Manda?" He walked over to her and tried to get her up, but she was out like a light. Swearing, he picked her up gingerly, spread his wings, and slowly flew back to the mansion. The end of his mourning would have to wait until he got her inside where it was warm and comfortable. He certainly owed her that much.