Madelyn, Alison - Sunday morning
Feb. 20th, 2005 10:00 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsIn response to Madelyn's email summons, Alison comes down to the medlab. The news about Haroun's test resultsis not good.
To do: get Forge to do what he can for Haroun, including fixing those balance issues, get Haroun back into the filtering machine for another hour or two, then run a full set of tests on Hank and find out what the hell is going on there... Madelyn was so intent on her internal monologue, plus the stack of results she was going through, that she didn't even notice Alison's arrival at the door until the songbird coughed meaningfully. Looking up, the doctor blinked a few times, and crossed off one item from the list. Tell Alison to stop fooling around with her boyfriend, check.
Madelyn looked worried. And harried too, with that glazed look to her eyes that well, Alison knew, having seen it on herself a few times. (Just a few). It basically said that Madelyn had so many things running through her mind at once, and so many others to keep track of besides, that multi-tasking wasn't even close to expressing it properly. And she'd called Alison down to the medlab. Without specifying why. Which left Alison to fretfully wonder what this was all about, since she felt fine, had seen Miles running about with Artie not ten minutes ago and well... that left Haroun, whom Alison had meant to talk about with Madelyn only no she wasn't so sure she wanted to go there.
"Hi." A pause. "Is, aaah... something wrong?"
Oh really, brilliant that. Alison was underwhelmed by herself, there.
"Al, thanks for coming down so quickly. Come in, have a seat. Oh, and can you shut the door?" Even if the expression on Madelyn's face hadn't said something was most definitely wrong, the fact she asked that would have been a clear giveaway. She waited until Alison had sat down in the chair opposite the desk before going on. "Look, I'm sorry to drag you down here so abruptly, but I needed to talk to you. About Haroun." Possibly not the most tactful of beginnings, but Madelyn had far too much on her mind to mince words.
The lump of lead that had been slowly forming in her stomach settled in for the long haul at that, Alison managing only a strangled sound the first time she tried to speak after closing the door. Finally, she managed something more than just opening her mouth and saying nothing at all, while resting both of her hands firmly in her lap. "He's had a lot of tests lately. Something came up." It wasn't a question, really, more than a statement. The Mistra mission had been rough on him, but he'd seemed to be doing so well... but that had nothing to do with the slight changes she'd noticed over time, the way the filterings seemed to be needed more and more often. "Talk to me?" The faint quaver in her voice made it through despite her best efforts.
Tiredly, Madelyn slid her glasses up onto the top of her head, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "There's some problems, stemming from the mission in Canada. Those Forge is working on, and I'm hopeful he can fix them okay. But there's something else, something that's been building for a while. The hormone implant. He's been having to come in more and more frequently for filtering, and Hank was concerned about the rate he was going through the implant, so he included that in the exam..." Luckily he'd written himself a diagnostic check list before the memory lapses - Madelyn pushed the issue of Hank's health aside in favour of dealing with the situation at hand, although Alison would want to know the rest once there was something specific to know. "These tests results... his hormone levels are way too high, and filtering's not helping it."
There was silence for a moment, Alison staring at Madelyn while absorbing the information. "I'd... noticed that he was coming in more frequently for filterings," she said faintly. Heck, she'd checked with Madelyn on that not long ago, but had assumed it was just a side-effect, of well... dating someone. She shifted on the chair and then gave up, pulling her legs up and hugging her knees, heels propped on the edge of the seat. "Is it something wrong with the implant, or-" she left the rest in suspense, not wanting to contemplate that what was wrong was entirely external to the implant in nature.
Madelyn made a frustrated noise. "That's what we're trying to find out. These sorts of levels, they're far too high for an ordinary human being, but from what Forge can tell comparing the design specs with the actual implant... it's doing what it's supposed to be doing. We can't tell if that's for a specific reason or not - I don't have the engineering training, and Forge doesn't understand the biochemistry. But..." There always was a but, wasn't there? "As far as I can tell, at the moment, is that the implant was never designed for these sorts of circumstances. The demands he's placing on himself... they're exceeding his ability to cope." Madelyn hated the words coming out of her mouth, but there wasn't really any other way to put it. "The 'ware can't handle him being in a relationship."
Alison's expression went disturbingly blank at that, the words echoing in her mind as she straightened in the chair, her feet slowly slipping from the edge to rest down on the floor as she stared at Madelyn. "Can't handle him being in a relationship," she eventually murmured, breaking the silence in the office. Looking down was a good way to hide her expression, Alison having no doubt that everything was there for Madelyn to read at that particular moment - and even though she simply struggling to sort everything through herself in light of that particular statement, she didn't want it to be witnessed. By anyone. Taking a short breath, she looked to the side, trying to go beyond the state she was in to something at least resembling coherent.
"I'm sorry, hon, I really am. And it's not something we're going to leave, it's just..." Madelyn spread her hands helplessly. She wouldn't voice her suspicions about Hank's state of health until she actually had some test results. Which would be the next job on the list, putting him through every test she could think of and then some. "It could be a design flaw, although it's hard to accept they could make a mistake like that considering the rest of the work they've done on him. And Forge tells me it's doing what it was designed to do, so maybe there's a good reason to flood his system with so many hormones every time he gets angry, or aroused, but I just can't see it right now. We'll work on it, but in the meantime... God, Al, I hate to ask this of you, but... you're going to have to tone it down. Ease off, stop stirring him up so much. If the implant runs out, we're screwed, given the situation with Shaw and the Hellfire Club."
"If the implant runs out we're getting him another one and that's that," Alison answered flatly, though she still hadn't focused on Madelyn again - that whatever would be needed to obtain said implant wasn't an issue was clear, however. She bit her lip, trying to take a slow breath. Ease off, she was being told. They weren't even managing to get the intimacy they both wanted so badly and even what little they had managed was too much it seemed. Did that include even the casual stuff that was part of a relationship, at that - simply snuggling up to him while watching a movie, the small things that everyone did without even thinking of it. The tension had been there in nearly everything lately, and Alison reflected bleakly that even what little they had managed to claim was now apparently going down the drain.
That she craved the simple things and would now have to watch her every move or thought instead... shoulders slumping she nodded slowly, speaking through clenched teeth. "Right. No stirring him up." Her fault, at that. Regardless of how you looked at it, the words implied it and the facts supported it. She kept an iron control on her voice as she forced the next words out. "What are you going to do? How long do I have to... do that? And does he know yet?"
"I've tried to talk to him, yes. Part of the problem with the amount of hormones in his system is they're affecting his ability to think and plan logically - he's running on instinct and emotion most of the time, and not even the higher level emotions - this is all the basic stuff." Normally Madelyn would have cracked a brief smile at that, tried to make a small joke to ease the blow a bit, but she wasn't capable of that. "As for what I'm going to do... I'm working on it, Al. I've got Forge going over those designs with a fine tooth comb, and in the meantime I'll be getting him in for filtering daily. Maybe Hank can think of something, only after this whole thing I'm not sure about that..." The other doctor's composure cracked a little, revealing a woman deeply worried - and afraid she wasn't equal to the task ahead of her. "I've got to run some further tests, but if we can establish a baseline, what he can manage without losing control of his temper - or anything else - then maybe I'll be able to give you some leeway." Rubbing her eyes, she managed a weak attempt at reassurance. "It's not your fault, Al. This whole thing... it's the cyberware - there's a limit built into it, and until we work out why it's there, we'll have to assume it's for his own good."
And Alison wasn't being any good for him at all, it would seem. The previous day alone must have wreaked havoc on his system, and her features tightened at the thought that she'd been doing harm, just by teasing him as she'd been doing. The brief look that broke through on Madelyn's face made one thing clear to her though - there were no promises and no certainties that anything could be resolved, not with that level of worry showing through. For a moment, all she wanted to do was tell Madelyn that she wasn't sure she was strong enough to do that, to always keep that level of distance between herself and Haroun - that the very notion terrified her in fact, especially with the growing realization that Haroun might simply not understand exactly why she was doing that, not on a rational level since rational wouldn't be the easiest thing for him to keep hold of even in the best of times. But instead Alison nodded slowly, as controlled a gesture as the other woman had ever seen from her. "I can help for the tests, at least." She was fairly certain that he'd put up with them if it was put across to him as an order. And what that might do to the rest of things between them scared Alison if it had to happen too much in the times to come, but if it was for his own good... "What about team duty?"
"He'll be fine for active duty, but he'll need someone to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't start acting on impulse and getting himself hurt. Not easy, I know, but what about this is?" Madelyn said with the faintest ghost of a smile. "Look, God knows I'm sorry I have to ask you to do this, and I'm not trying to ruin things between you guys, even 'though it must seem that way. But I need your help, Al. I can't do this alone." That slipped out before she could stop it, but hopefully Alison wouldn't catch it.
"I'll talk to Scott and Ororo." A small nod - it wasn't guaranteed they'd accept this, she knew - she was ambivalent about it herself, but at worse it only meant that team Black would be avoiding full combat type missions as much as possible for a while. "I know you're not trying to do that," she continued, voice growing a bit more remote - it wasn't directed at Madelyn, but if Alison didn't distance somehow, she'd break down on the other woman and it was easy to tell that it was the last thing Madelyn needed. And a moment after that Alison turned to finally look at her directly, eyes narrowing a bit as she processed the last sentence over in her mind. "What do you mean, 'alone'?"
It was the remoteness in the other woman's voice and expression that settled the matter. Whatever was wrong with Hank - if anything, although Madelyn was convinced now there was, now she thought about the last couple of weeks - it wouldn't do to tell Alison now. Not if she didn't want her to shatter. "Well, Forge doesn't understand the biochem, like I said, and there's a lot to go through, plus the usual work," she said vaguely. "Look, I should get back to things, and this is an awful lot to take in - how about we talk some more later, when you've had a chance to process a bit?" Okay, a fairly obvious attempt to flee, but she could feel time weighing down on her. So much to do, so little time, and only one pair of hands. And the expression - or lack of - on Alison's face was killing her by degrees.
"Okay." Processing things might not help, but at least she could have a nice screaming fit at the unfairness of it all in the privacy of her own room. "Let me know if you need help to get him to go through the exams. All of them." Her voice was flat but Alison couldn't really help it - that was far safer right now than anything else. "Whatever else I should know, keep me updated." She paused, realizing she was giving orders, and softened her voice. "Please. And if there's anything I can do to help you…" And then Madelyn could run to do her work and Alison could go hide for a while. Just a short while.
"I'll keep you informed," Madelyn replied with a brief nod. "And I'm fine at the moment, but I'll let you know if there's anything..." Coward her conscience supplied far-too-cheerfully. Taking a deep breath, she made herself ask, knowing the sort of answer she'd get. "You'll be okay?"
"I will be." Madelyn had to know that meant later and not just now, but Alison wasn't about to tell her she was now, after all. That would be a blatant lie. She rose to her feet, forcing steadiness to her legs. "I'm going to be in my room, for a bit. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Madelyn nodded, understanding. Hell, she'd be probably doing the same thing herself later. Haroun was her friend, and with Hank not at his best for whatever reasons... "I am sorry, Ali," she managed, looking down at the test results rather than meeting Alison's eyes - to see how much this was tearing her up would be too much. "And we'll be doing our best, okay?"
"I know you will." The answer was barely above a whisper and that was Alison's cue to make good her escape while it was still possible, and give Madelyn time and space to work on things as opposed to picking up the pieces. "Thank you, Madelyn." And with that Alison turned and headed out of the office, and the medlab, not looking back once.
To do: get Forge to do what he can for Haroun, including fixing those balance issues, get Haroun back into the filtering machine for another hour or two, then run a full set of tests on Hank and find out what the hell is going on there... Madelyn was so intent on her internal monologue, plus the stack of results she was going through, that she didn't even notice Alison's arrival at the door until the songbird coughed meaningfully. Looking up, the doctor blinked a few times, and crossed off one item from the list. Tell Alison to stop fooling around with her boyfriend, check.
Madelyn looked worried. And harried too, with that glazed look to her eyes that well, Alison knew, having seen it on herself a few times. (Just a few). It basically said that Madelyn had so many things running through her mind at once, and so many others to keep track of besides, that multi-tasking wasn't even close to expressing it properly. And she'd called Alison down to the medlab. Without specifying why. Which left Alison to fretfully wonder what this was all about, since she felt fine, had seen Miles running about with Artie not ten minutes ago and well... that left Haroun, whom Alison had meant to talk about with Madelyn only no she wasn't so sure she wanted to go there.
"Hi." A pause. "Is, aaah... something wrong?"
Oh really, brilliant that. Alison was underwhelmed by herself, there.
"Al, thanks for coming down so quickly. Come in, have a seat. Oh, and can you shut the door?" Even if the expression on Madelyn's face hadn't said something was most definitely wrong, the fact she asked that would have been a clear giveaway. She waited until Alison had sat down in the chair opposite the desk before going on. "Look, I'm sorry to drag you down here so abruptly, but I needed to talk to you. About Haroun." Possibly not the most tactful of beginnings, but Madelyn had far too much on her mind to mince words.
The lump of lead that had been slowly forming in her stomach settled in for the long haul at that, Alison managing only a strangled sound the first time she tried to speak after closing the door. Finally, she managed something more than just opening her mouth and saying nothing at all, while resting both of her hands firmly in her lap. "He's had a lot of tests lately. Something came up." It wasn't a question, really, more than a statement. The Mistra mission had been rough on him, but he'd seemed to be doing so well... but that had nothing to do with the slight changes she'd noticed over time, the way the filterings seemed to be needed more and more often. "Talk to me?" The faint quaver in her voice made it through despite her best efforts.
Tiredly, Madelyn slid her glasses up onto the top of her head, and pinched the bridge of her nose. "There's some problems, stemming from the mission in Canada. Those Forge is working on, and I'm hopeful he can fix them okay. But there's something else, something that's been building for a while. The hormone implant. He's been having to come in more and more frequently for filtering, and Hank was concerned about the rate he was going through the implant, so he included that in the exam..." Luckily he'd written himself a diagnostic check list before the memory lapses - Madelyn pushed the issue of Hank's health aside in favour of dealing with the situation at hand, although Alison would want to know the rest once there was something specific to know. "These tests results... his hormone levels are way too high, and filtering's not helping it."
There was silence for a moment, Alison staring at Madelyn while absorbing the information. "I'd... noticed that he was coming in more frequently for filterings," she said faintly. Heck, she'd checked with Madelyn on that not long ago, but had assumed it was just a side-effect, of well... dating someone. She shifted on the chair and then gave up, pulling her legs up and hugging her knees, heels propped on the edge of the seat. "Is it something wrong with the implant, or-" she left the rest in suspense, not wanting to contemplate that what was wrong was entirely external to the implant in nature.
Madelyn made a frustrated noise. "That's what we're trying to find out. These sorts of levels, they're far too high for an ordinary human being, but from what Forge can tell comparing the design specs with the actual implant... it's doing what it's supposed to be doing. We can't tell if that's for a specific reason or not - I don't have the engineering training, and Forge doesn't understand the biochemistry. But..." There always was a but, wasn't there? "As far as I can tell, at the moment, is that the implant was never designed for these sorts of circumstances. The demands he's placing on himself... they're exceeding his ability to cope." Madelyn hated the words coming out of her mouth, but there wasn't really any other way to put it. "The 'ware can't handle him being in a relationship."
Alison's expression went disturbingly blank at that, the words echoing in her mind as she straightened in the chair, her feet slowly slipping from the edge to rest down on the floor as she stared at Madelyn. "Can't handle him being in a relationship," she eventually murmured, breaking the silence in the office. Looking down was a good way to hide her expression, Alison having no doubt that everything was there for Madelyn to read at that particular moment - and even though she simply struggling to sort everything through herself in light of that particular statement, she didn't want it to be witnessed. By anyone. Taking a short breath, she looked to the side, trying to go beyond the state she was in to something at least resembling coherent.
"I'm sorry, hon, I really am. And it's not something we're going to leave, it's just..." Madelyn spread her hands helplessly. She wouldn't voice her suspicions about Hank's state of health until she actually had some test results. Which would be the next job on the list, putting him through every test she could think of and then some. "It could be a design flaw, although it's hard to accept they could make a mistake like that considering the rest of the work they've done on him. And Forge tells me it's doing what it was designed to do, so maybe there's a good reason to flood his system with so many hormones every time he gets angry, or aroused, but I just can't see it right now. We'll work on it, but in the meantime... God, Al, I hate to ask this of you, but... you're going to have to tone it down. Ease off, stop stirring him up so much. If the implant runs out, we're screwed, given the situation with Shaw and the Hellfire Club."
"If the implant runs out we're getting him another one and that's that," Alison answered flatly, though she still hadn't focused on Madelyn again - that whatever would be needed to obtain said implant wasn't an issue was clear, however. She bit her lip, trying to take a slow breath. Ease off, she was being told. They weren't even managing to get the intimacy they both wanted so badly and even what little they had managed was too much it seemed. Did that include even the casual stuff that was part of a relationship, at that - simply snuggling up to him while watching a movie, the small things that everyone did without even thinking of it. The tension had been there in nearly everything lately, and Alison reflected bleakly that even what little they had managed to claim was now apparently going down the drain.
That she craved the simple things and would now have to watch her every move or thought instead... shoulders slumping she nodded slowly, speaking through clenched teeth. "Right. No stirring him up." Her fault, at that. Regardless of how you looked at it, the words implied it and the facts supported it. She kept an iron control on her voice as she forced the next words out. "What are you going to do? How long do I have to... do that? And does he know yet?"
"I've tried to talk to him, yes. Part of the problem with the amount of hormones in his system is they're affecting his ability to think and plan logically - he's running on instinct and emotion most of the time, and not even the higher level emotions - this is all the basic stuff." Normally Madelyn would have cracked a brief smile at that, tried to make a small joke to ease the blow a bit, but she wasn't capable of that. "As for what I'm going to do... I'm working on it, Al. I've got Forge going over those designs with a fine tooth comb, and in the meantime I'll be getting him in for filtering daily. Maybe Hank can think of something, only after this whole thing I'm not sure about that..." The other doctor's composure cracked a little, revealing a woman deeply worried - and afraid she wasn't equal to the task ahead of her. "I've got to run some further tests, but if we can establish a baseline, what he can manage without losing control of his temper - or anything else - then maybe I'll be able to give you some leeway." Rubbing her eyes, she managed a weak attempt at reassurance. "It's not your fault, Al. This whole thing... it's the cyberware - there's a limit built into it, and until we work out why it's there, we'll have to assume it's for his own good."
And Alison wasn't being any good for him at all, it would seem. The previous day alone must have wreaked havoc on his system, and her features tightened at the thought that she'd been doing harm, just by teasing him as she'd been doing. The brief look that broke through on Madelyn's face made one thing clear to her though - there were no promises and no certainties that anything could be resolved, not with that level of worry showing through. For a moment, all she wanted to do was tell Madelyn that she wasn't sure she was strong enough to do that, to always keep that level of distance between herself and Haroun - that the very notion terrified her in fact, especially with the growing realization that Haroun might simply not understand exactly why she was doing that, not on a rational level since rational wouldn't be the easiest thing for him to keep hold of even in the best of times. But instead Alison nodded slowly, as controlled a gesture as the other woman had ever seen from her. "I can help for the tests, at least." She was fairly certain that he'd put up with them if it was put across to him as an order. And what that might do to the rest of things between them scared Alison if it had to happen too much in the times to come, but if it was for his own good... "What about team duty?"
"He'll be fine for active duty, but he'll need someone to keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn't start acting on impulse and getting himself hurt. Not easy, I know, but what about this is?" Madelyn said with the faintest ghost of a smile. "Look, God knows I'm sorry I have to ask you to do this, and I'm not trying to ruin things between you guys, even 'though it must seem that way. But I need your help, Al. I can't do this alone." That slipped out before she could stop it, but hopefully Alison wouldn't catch it.
"I'll talk to Scott and Ororo." A small nod - it wasn't guaranteed they'd accept this, she knew - she was ambivalent about it herself, but at worse it only meant that team Black would be avoiding full combat type missions as much as possible for a while. "I know you're not trying to do that," she continued, voice growing a bit more remote - it wasn't directed at Madelyn, but if Alison didn't distance somehow, she'd break down on the other woman and it was easy to tell that it was the last thing Madelyn needed. And a moment after that Alison turned to finally look at her directly, eyes narrowing a bit as she processed the last sentence over in her mind. "What do you mean, 'alone'?"
It was the remoteness in the other woman's voice and expression that settled the matter. Whatever was wrong with Hank - if anything, although Madelyn was convinced now there was, now she thought about the last couple of weeks - it wouldn't do to tell Alison now. Not if she didn't want her to shatter. "Well, Forge doesn't understand the biochem, like I said, and there's a lot to go through, plus the usual work," she said vaguely. "Look, I should get back to things, and this is an awful lot to take in - how about we talk some more later, when you've had a chance to process a bit?" Okay, a fairly obvious attempt to flee, but she could feel time weighing down on her. So much to do, so little time, and only one pair of hands. And the expression - or lack of - on Alison's face was killing her by degrees.
"Okay." Processing things might not help, but at least she could have a nice screaming fit at the unfairness of it all in the privacy of her own room. "Let me know if you need help to get him to go through the exams. All of them." Her voice was flat but Alison couldn't really help it - that was far safer right now than anything else. "Whatever else I should know, keep me updated." She paused, realizing she was giving orders, and softened her voice. "Please. And if there's anything I can do to help you…" And then Madelyn could run to do her work and Alison could go hide for a while. Just a short while.
"I'll keep you informed," Madelyn replied with a brief nod. "And I'm fine at the moment, but I'll let you know if there's anything..." Coward her conscience supplied far-too-cheerfully. Taking a deep breath, she made herself ask, knowing the sort of answer she'd get. "You'll be okay?"
"I will be." Madelyn had to know that meant later and not just now, but Alison wasn't about to tell her she was now, after all. That would be a blatant lie. She rose to her feet, forcing steadiness to her legs. "I'm going to be in my room, for a bit. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
Madelyn nodded, understanding. Hell, she'd be probably doing the same thing herself later. Haroun was her friend, and with Hank not at his best for whatever reasons... "I am sorry, Ali," she managed, looking down at the test results rather than meeting Alison's eyes - to see how much this was tearing her up would be too much. "And we'll be doing our best, okay?"
"I know you will." The answer was barely above a whisper and that was Alison's cue to make good her escape while it was still possible, and give Madelyn time and space to work on things as opposed to picking up the pieces. "Thank you, Madelyn." And with that Alison turned and headed out of the office, and the medlab, not looking back once.
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Date: 2005-02-20 11:26 am (UTC)