Amanda, Jubilee - Thursday afternoon
Mar. 3rd, 2005 01:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsFollowing these emails, Jubilee finds Amanda in the barn. No bones are broken, but it's a close thing.
Jubilee paused outside the stables, pushing the sleeves of her sweater up to her elbows and taking a better grip on the bag of food she'd brought with her. She wasn't entirely sure about it but Jubilee had an idea that Amanda might not have been looking after herself all that well, with all the things she'd mentioned. She was probably courting another broken nose right now, although that was not the surety that it might have been when she and Amanda had their last big fight, considering she'd been training up on the more dirty fighting styles then the flashy ones since then.
'You, have the self preservation skills of a gnat on a collision course with a windscreen' she thought. 'But then that's nothing new.'
Shrugging, she walked through the door, looking for Amanda.
Amanda had finished brushing down Gorgeous after unsaddling him, and had retreated to the hayloft to try and think. Or at least stop reacting. The ride had helped settle the simmering anger some, but all that meant was the worry bubbled back to the top. And she was buggered if she was going to see Manuel like this. Let him realise he was in the shite for a while.
Then she realised there was someone moving down below, and peered over the edge of the loft. Oh bloody fucking brilliant. Lee. Here to try and make herself feel better by spouting some half-arsed Eastern philosophy at her, no doubt. For a moment Amanda considered just lying low until she went away, but she was sick of letting things go. Time to at least deal with one thing. "You really must want that broken nose, Lee," she said, moving so her legs were dangling over the edge of the loft. "What part of me threatenin' t' break yer nose again didn't you get?"
"Probably the part where you were tellin' me how ragged you've been runnin' yourself this week. Thought you could use some food, since if I know you, you tend to forget the eating when you're runnin' after other people." Jubilee replied, leaving the bag of food on a barrel nearby.
"Well, you've done yer Florence Nightingale bit, hope it made you feel better. Now sod off - I don't wanna talk 'bout it." Amanda's glare was decidedly unfriendly, and she was regretting the outburst in her reply to Jubilee's email. Stupid bint would either tell all and sundry she wasn't keeping it together, or just hang around trying to be 'understanding' until Amanda ended up setting her on fire or something just to get rid of her.
"Okay." Jubilee replied, leaving the plate and knife and fork she'd also brought with her and turning to walk back out.
She hadn't really come here with anything particular in mind. She certainly had realised she'd made a bad mistake in joking about the photos. As much as she probably made a fairly decent facsimile of social graces, she really had no fucking idea what she was doing most of the time. This had been yet another case of 'foot in mouth' syndrome...or just 'fucking unthinking stupidity'. She just wanted to make sure Amanda was eating, that's all. Something she'd said to Scott a little while ago, wanting to be the type of person that made sure everyone else got out okay.
She wished...she wished she was better at feeling than this. She wished she was better at knowing what to say. She might not have said what she had on the journals. Maybe Doug was right, she just didn't get it.
Shrugging, she blinked as the sunlight hit her after the half light of the stables. Amanda wasn't going to listen to her right now, and she knew at least that much about the whole interaction thing that she probably didn't have any right to expect that she would. "It's some of the left over venison, an some greens. An I put an apple in too, in case you wanted somethin' for later."
Okay, just up and going wasn't what Amanda had expected. "Ta," she said shortly, trying to ignore the stomach growling that had started up at the mention of food. It wasn't like she hadn't been not eating on purpose, she just hadn't been hungry. Side effect of not doing any magic, she supposed. "This don't make it all better, you realise," she found herself adding. "You don't get t' gloat 'bout sleepin' with me boyfriend an' then bring me some food an' expect it t' be straight between us, right?"
"Didn't think it would. Just, know how hard it is bein' worried about everyone and takin' care of yourself at the same time." Jubilee replied, turning back and leaning against the doorway. "An I wasn't gloatin', not like that. He took me by surprise, an I didn't know how to respond. I fucked up...again. Surprising as it may seem, considerin' my wonderful track record, I pretty much suck at the human interaction thing. But it ain't really much of an excuse, is it? I shoulda known makin' it into a joke wasn't the way."
She leant her head back on the door frame, looking at the cobwebs that seemed to coat the wood above her. The horsy smell of the place was strangely comforting, the sound of snorts and hoof stomps the only noise other then their voices.
"I dunno who I'm more mad at - you or him. For an empath he can be bloody fuckin' insensitive." Amanda looked down at the drop into the stables, and decided against it - she'd need magic to cushion her fall, and magic was still a no-go. Instead she moved to the ladder, climbing down. "That stuff I said - I'd appreciate you keepin' it to yerself. Folks have enough goin' on without me addin' to it, an'I'm doin' all right. Just a bad day." She wandered over to the bag, pulling out the foil-wrapped package of venison and the plastic container of vegetables. "I'll be all right. Just forget t' eat sometimes now I'm not doin' any magic. I seem t' be livin' off power half the time - no wonder I'm tetchy."
"Hadn't planned on tellin' anyone. Think you're enough of an adult to talk ta people if things get really bad without me puttin' my two cents in. But like I said, know how easy it is to forget to eat, I do it myself. Although, I tend toward the forgettin' to sleep and havin' people tranq gun me when I'm doin' the stressing out thing." Jubilee replied, her hair drifting forward as she looked at the ground, hiding her face. "You're right to be worryin' about Pete. If I'd had the resources he has when my folks were killed, I'd be trackin' down the bastards that did it right now an' gettin' ready to give 'em an advanced case of dead. Only, seein' how Pete's the covert ops type, people that killed his Dad probably aren't your garden variety thugs...I'm not exactly being helpful here, am I?"
"Wow, someone in this place that isn't a bleedin' do-gooder," Amanda muttered to herself. "I'm worried 'cause Pete's vanished, not 'cause he's trackin' down the cunt that killed his dad. He normally emails me t' let me know he's on a job, an' he hasn't this time. That's all. I hope he finds the bastard an' makes him pay."
"Probably isn't in the right headspace ta think of it." Jubilee admitted, remembering her reaction to her parents' death after the survivor guilt had receded enough for her to get good and angry.
She'd pretty much stayed angry ever since. It had only been Madelyn's information that the people who had committed the act were dead that she'd felt a lessoning of that anger. "Anger doesn't leave much space for anyone else. Not even the people you might care about otherwise."
Amanda's face closed off, the brief amount of leeway she'd given Jubilee taken back. "He's been angry since he found out. Didn't stop him from talkin' to me then," was all she said as she deliberately turned her back on the other girl, unwrapping the meat and dumping it on the plate, then doing the same with the vegetables. "Sure you've got some important not admittin' you were an insensitive bitch t' do somewhere. Don't let me keep you."
'Not that kinda angry' Jubilee thought sadly.
Rage wasn't the type of emotion that let much else in, and she had more experience with that then most. Although, Amanda did know Pete better then she did. Maybe other people dealt with anger a little better then she did. Whatever it was, it obviously hadn't been the path to take by telling Amanda that. Jubilee wished once again that she was better at this. Dealing with other people was confusing and hard and honestly scary as all hell most days.
'And that's just the people who like me'
"Yeah, I was insensitive, an unthinking and just downright rude. I'm told they're my more unlikeable traits. Like I said, wasn't here cause I thought you'd magically forgive me. An' I did mean it when I said I was sorry. It won't happen again. The referencing, that is." She replied, pushing herself up from where she'd been leaning.
She should have left straight away like she'd meant to. Less time for foot in mouth disease to kick in.
"Don't let the door hit yer arse on the way out," was all Amanda said, not even looking up. If Lee was looking for some sort of karmic validation, she wasn't getting it from her. Some things were too personal, and some hurts were too deep.
Jubilee paused outside the stables, pushing the sleeves of her sweater up to her elbows and taking a better grip on the bag of food she'd brought with her. She wasn't entirely sure about it but Jubilee had an idea that Amanda might not have been looking after herself all that well, with all the things she'd mentioned. She was probably courting another broken nose right now, although that was not the surety that it might have been when she and Amanda had their last big fight, considering she'd been training up on the more dirty fighting styles then the flashy ones since then.
'You, have the self preservation skills of a gnat on a collision course with a windscreen' she thought. 'But then that's nothing new.'
Shrugging, she walked through the door, looking for Amanda.
Amanda had finished brushing down Gorgeous after unsaddling him, and had retreated to the hayloft to try and think. Or at least stop reacting. The ride had helped settle the simmering anger some, but all that meant was the worry bubbled back to the top. And she was buggered if she was going to see Manuel like this. Let him realise he was in the shite for a while.
Then she realised there was someone moving down below, and peered over the edge of the loft. Oh bloody fucking brilliant. Lee. Here to try and make herself feel better by spouting some half-arsed Eastern philosophy at her, no doubt. For a moment Amanda considered just lying low until she went away, but she was sick of letting things go. Time to at least deal with one thing. "You really must want that broken nose, Lee," she said, moving so her legs were dangling over the edge of the loft. "What part of me threatenin' t' break yer nose again didn't you get?"
"Probably the part where you were tellin' me how ragged you've been runnin' yourself this week. Thought you could use some food, since if I know you, you tend to forget the eating when you're runnin' after other people." Jubilee replied, leaving the bag of food on a barrel nearby.
"Well, you've done yer Florence Nightingale bit, hope it made you feel better. Now sod off - I don't wanna talk 'bout it." Amanda's glare was decidedly unfriendly, and she was regretting the outburst in her reply to Jubilee's email. Stupid bint would either tell all and sundry she wasn't keeping it together, or just hang around trying to be 'understanding' until Amanda ended up setting her on fire or something just to get rid of her.
"Okay." Jubilee replied, leaving the plate and knife and fork she'd also brought with her and turning to walk back out.
She hadn't really come here with anything particular in mind. She certainly had realised she'd made a bad mistake in joking about the photos. As much as she probably made a fairly decent facsimile of social graces, she really had no fucking idea what she was doing most of the time. This had been yet another case of 'foot in mouth' syndrome...or just 'fucking unthinking stupidity'. She just wanted to make sure Amanda was eating, that's all. Something she'd said to Scott a little while ago, wanting to be the type of person that made sure everyone else got out okay.
She wished...she wished she was better at feeling than this. She wished she was better at knowing what to say. She might not have said what she had on the journals. Maybe Doug was right, she just didn't get it.
Shrugging, she blinked as the sunlight hit her after the half light of the stables. Amanda wasn't going to listen to her right now, and she knew at least that much about the whole interaction thing that she probably didn't have any right to expect that she would. "It's some of the left over venison, an some greens. An I put an apple in too, in case you wanted somethin' for later."
Okay, just up and going wasn't what Amanda had expected. "Ta," she said shortly, trying to ignore the stomach growling that had started up at the mention of food. It wasn't like she hadn't been not eating on purpose, she just hadn't been hungry. Side effect of not doing any magic, she supposed. "This don't make it all better, you realise," she found herself adding. "You don't get t' gloat 'bout sleepin' with me boyfriend an' then bring me some food an' expect it t' be straight between us, right?"
"Didn't think it would. Just, know how hard it is bein' worried about everyone and takin' care of yourself at the same time." Jubilee replied, turning back and leaning against the doorway. "An I wasn't gloatin', not like that. He took me by surprise, an I didn't know how to respond. I fucked up...again. Surprising as it may seem, considerin' my wonderful track record, I pretty much suck at the human interaction thing. But it ain't really much of an excuse, is it? I shoulda known makin' it into a joke wasn't the way."
She leant her head back on the door frame, looking at the cobwebs that seemed to coat the wood above her. The horsy smell of the place was strangely comforting, the sound of snorts and hoof stomps the only noise other then their voices.
"I dunno who I'm more mad at - you or him. For an empath he can be bloody fuckin' insensitive." Amanda looked down at the drop into the stables, and decided against it - she'd need magic to cushion her fall, and magic was still a no-go. Instead she moved to the ladder, climbing down. "That stuff I said - I'd appreciate you keepin' it to yerself. Folks have enough goin' on without me addin' to it, an'I'm doin' all right. Just a bad day." She wandered over to the bag, pulling out the foil-wrapped package of venison and the plastic container of vegetables. "I'll be all right. Just forget t' eat sometimes now I'm not doin' any magic. I seem t' be livin' off power half the time - no wonder I'm tetchy."
"Hadn't planned on tellin' anyone. Think you're enough of an adult to talk ta people if things get really bad without me puttin' my two cents in. But like I said, know how easy it is to forget to eat, I do it myself. Although, I tend toward the forgettin' to sleep and havin' people tranq gun me when I'm doin' the stressing out thing." Jubilee replied, her hair drifting forward as she looked at the ground, hiding her face. "You're right to be worryin' about Pete. If I'd had the resources he has when my folks were killed, I'd be trackin' down the bastards that did it right now an' gettin' ready to give 'em an advanced case of dead. Only, seein' how Pete's the covert ops type, people that killed his Dad probably aren't your garden variety thugs...I'm not exactly being helpful here, am I?"
"Wow, someone in this place that isn't a bleedin' do-gooder," Amanda muttered to herself. "I'm worried 'cause Pete's vanished, not 'cause he's trackin' down the cunt that killed his dad. He normally emails me t' let me know he's on a job, an' he hasn't this time. That's all. I hope he finds the bastard an' makes him pay."
"Probably isn't in the right headspace ta think of it." Jubilee admitted, remembering her reaction to her parents' death after the survivor guilt had receded enough for her to get good and angry.
She'd pretty much stayed angry ever since. It had only been Madelyn's information that the people who had committed the act were dead that she'd felt a lessoning of that anger. "Anger doesn't leave much space for anyone else. Not even the people you might care about otherwise."
Amanda's face closed off, the brief amount of leeway she'd given Jubilee taken back. "He's been angry since he found out. Didn't stop him from talkin' to me then," was all she said as she deliberately turned her back on the other girl, unwrapping the meat and dumping it on the plate, then doing the same with the vegetables. "Sure you've got some important not admittin' you were an insensitive bitch t' do somewhere. Don't let me keep you."
'Not that kinda angry' Jubilee thought sadly.
Rage wasn't the type of emotion that let much else in, and she had more experience with that then most. Although, Amanda did know Pete better then she did. Maybe other people dealt with anger a little better then she did. Whatever it was, it obviously hadn't been the path to take by telling Amanda that. Jubilee wished once again that she was better at this. Dealing with other people was confusing and hard and honestly scary as all hell most days.
'And that's just the people who like me'
"Yeah, I was insensitive, an unthinking and just downright rude. I'm told they're my more unlikeable traits. Like I said, wasn't here cause I thought you'd magically forgive me. An' I did mean it when I said I was sorry. It won't happen again. The referencing, that is." She replied, pushing herself up from where she'd been leaning.
She should have left straight away like she'd meant to. Less time for foot in mouth disease to kick in.
"Don't let the door hit yer arse on the way out," was all Amanda said, not even looking up. If Lee was looking for some sort of karmic validation, she wasn't getting it from her. Some things were too personal, and some hurts were too deep.
