xp_logs | Jamie finds out about one of the -many- things Kitty is not dealing with

Kitty had quite firmly taken up residence in Avoidence City on de Nile. She wasn't talking to anybody about anything, it seemed. She wasn't talking to her parents, she wasn't talking to her teachers, she wasn't talking to Samson. She hadn't even gone to see the miraculous recovery that was Jean Grey returned to life. Not that it would be readily apparent from looking at her that anything was wrong. On the contrary, Kitty was doing such a good job of avoiding it all that even she was convinced everything was ok. Her midterms were all finished and her plans for the next six to twelve months had been pretty well finalized. Currently she was curled up in a chair in the rec room, nose burried in a book and headphones cutting her off from anyone who might feel like playing a video game or something, and on the whole she was pretty happy with the world right then.

Jamie bounced into the rec room. He had News to Share, and a list of people to share it with, and topping that list was Kitty . . . who was buried in a book. Well, it wasn't like that had never happened before. He settled down on the couch opposite her chair, waiting for her to finish her page, or her chapter, or whatever. She was, he reflected, awfully cute when she was oblivious to the world.

As she sat curled in her chair it was easy to see the toes of her feet tapping out the rhythm of whatever music she was listening to, and it was actually the ending of the song which pulled her out of the world of the book. She reached over to hit 'repeat' on her diskman and caught sight of Jamie. With a grin she switched the machine off and tugged her headphones down around her neck. "Hey you," she said. "How goes?"

"Well, let's see," Jamie said. "I'm caught up on my homework, I know where I'm going to college, I had a nice big lunch, and somewhere around here there's this beautiful woman who seems to think I'm not entirely hopeless." He grinned. "Oh yeah, and this fall I'm going to have a job that doesn't suck. So I have to say I'm doing all right."

Kitty had just smiled at the list, knowing he was leading up to something. He had that look in his eyes. Her smile brightened when he got to the news. "Jamie, that's great," she said, moving to give him a hug and then curl up next to him on the couch. "What's the job? When did this happen? Tell, tell!"

"Ah, well. Therein, you might say, hangs a tale." Jamie stretched out on the couch, curling one arm comfortably around Kitty's waist. "You remember Mr. Roth, right? Nifty old guy, owns a bakery, plays chess like someone who is really frighteningly good at chess?"

"Yeah, sure," Kitty said. "Brilliant at bagels, too."

"Excellent bagels," Jamie said, nodding. "That's how this started, actually, I stopped by for a bagel the other day when I was in the city looking at . . ." He grinned. "Well, never mind exactly what. The point is, there I was in the bakery, and Mr. Roth happened to be in there taking a break from chess to make sure his grandnephew wasn't burning the rugelach or something--killer rugelach they have there too, by the way--and we got to talking, and once he'd made sure I wasn't a complete nutball moron, which he did by asking after you, I might add, he said he might be needing somebody to make deliveries and carry stuff around in the stockroom and stuff like that, and I should call back in a few days when he'd know for sure. And I did, and he did, and he hired me." Jamie's grin widened. "It's not, you know, a whole lot of money, but it's awesome people, and employee discounts, and with my savings and this crappy data entry job I'm looking at it's enough to cover the rest of my tuition." He poked her gently in the ribs. "Because, y'know, some of us aren't the darling of the physics department."

Kitty's curiosity caught on the 'never mind what I was looking at' but she was quickly distracted. "Hey," she said, squirming away from his finger, "It's not like my scholarship is a full ride. They just also decided to save me from the horror of working for the school's student Computer Help Desk by giving me a job in the labs. And yes, the job with Mr. Roth sounds fantastic."

"It's a lot closer to a full ride than mine is. They really like your big shiny brain over there." Jamie kissed her cheek fondly. "And a year earlier than most people, too. Either of your parents sprung for skywriting yet, or are they just using front-page ads in the paper to brag about you?"

"Er, well, you know..." Kitty utterly failed to answer the qestion. "I... I really don't know what they're up to," she said, biting her lip. This was not going to go over well. "I... kind of haven't told them."

"You haven't?" Jamie tilted his head, baffled. "But didn't you have to, for the FAFSA? And, um . . . don't you think you probably should anyway? I mean, this isn't the mansion getting invaded again, this is you. Going to college. It's a _good_ thing."

"I haven't," she said again. "I haven't really talked to them, pretty much since I got back. I send an email every now and then - you know 'I'm still alive' and all that..." She shrugged. "The FAFSA thing was harder, but... I'm sneaky." Sighing, Kitty pillowed her head on Jamie's shoulder. "I just... I don't think they're going to be happy about NYU. Ten'll get you a hundred if I mentioned I was graduating early mom'd have the U of Chicago admissions office on the phone within minutes."

"Well, yeah, she probably would." Jamie agreed with a sigh of his own. "But she can't make you go . . . and I still kinda think you should tell them. I mean . . . it's never gonna get any better if you don't try, you know?" He dialed for an encouraging smile. "Besides, worst comes to worst, I'm sure the U of Chicago has a film program."

"We are going to NYU," Kitty said firmly. "Mother or no mother." That came out rather less firmly, and Kitty bit her lip. "I know you're right, I just... don't feel like having the argument with her. I'd tell my dad, but sooner or later he'll tell her and then she'll call and it'll be 'you didn't tell me!!! I'm you're mother!!!' Which is rather the point of why I haven't told her, when you get down to it."

"You know it's just going to get worse the longer you avoid the problem, don't you?" Jamie asked, concern in his voice. "It's not going to be a barrel of monkeys anyway, but the more you put it off, the less good it'll be . . . and she is gonna find out eventually. NYU'll send her something by mistake, or somebody will say something, or your TA's boyfriend's cousin's neighbor will turn out to be her hairdresser's nephew. Wouldn't it be better just to get it over with? I mean, with me around for moral support, or . . . whatever would make it easiest, and then you just do it so it's not hanging over your head?"

"Oh sure, there you go being all wise and reasonable and stuff," Kitty said, a wry look on her face. "I mean, I know I ought to. I just... haven't." She sighed. "But I will." Eventually.

"It's a curse," Jamie agreed with a smile. Then he nudged her lightly. "Soon? Maybe this week, even? Because I know you mean to, but I know you and avoiding things, too, and even without you doing it on purpose one thing or another will come up that absolutely has to get done, and eventually it's your sophomore year and you still . . . haven't." Giving her a hangdog look, he added "You don't want me to turn into a giant nag, do you? It's just . . . family is important."

Half pouting, Kitty squrimed around in the couch so she could wrap her arms around him, hiding her face in his shoulder. "Your family is nice," she muttered. "Crazy, but nice. How about we just let them adopt me?" Before he could answer she went on. "I'll call them. I'll even promise to call them soon. Maybe this week. Maybe. By April at the latest."

"Good," Jamie said, running a soothing hand down her back. "I'll hold you to that. And, well . . . you only met me after we'd worked stuff out, my parents and me. There were a bunch of rough patches, when I first manifested and they were keeping me home."

"Yeah?" Kitty asked - it sounded like there was a story here, but she wasn't going to push if he didn't want to talk about it.

"Eh, well. I was a giant selfish brat, basically. It was right after I started duping--and there I was, stuck on the farm, no friends, no movies, no restaurants that didn't deliver, stuck with my parents all the time, and Mom was giving me more homework than I'd ever gotten at school, and it was gonna be that way forever, and it wasn't fair, and it was all their fault for not letting me at least try to go out sometimes when my powers were behaving, blah blah blah." Jamie shifted uncomfortably. "Got so bad, there was a few weeks where I'd only talk to them if I had to, during school hours, and I wouldn't call them anything but 'Warden.' And then I got up to get a glass of water one night when they thought I was asleep, and my mom was crying, she actually thought I hated her, and I realized, hey, it was just as hard for them. That it wasn't what they wanted for me any more than it was what I wanted."

He smiled wryly. "It was like this thunderbolt hit me: oh my God, it's tough to be a parent! Because they wanted me to be happy, and they wanted me to be safe, and they could see how much I was suffocating being stuck there all the time and they hated that too-- but they were being pulled eight different directions by all of that, and I was being a jerk on top of everything, and it just . . . I'd gotten stuck thinking about all of it as something they were doing to me, but it was . . . it had happened to all of us. So next morning, I apologized, and it . . . it didn't get magically better, there were still bad days after that, but it was a start. And it could've gone the other way, too, if I hadn't taken that first step."

Jamie rested his cheek on Kitty's hair. "So if I'm being pushy about making sure you talk to your parents, it's just, I dunno, I wonder sometimes if maybe there's a similar thing going on. Like . . . maybe your parents want a whole bunch of different things for you, and they're caught between them and they're forgetting to find out what you want. And if maybe your mom's trying to hold onto you so hard because she's scared of how much you're pulling away." He shrugged. "And I dunno, I could just be full of crap, too. I just don't want you to look back someday and regret not doing everything you could to fix things."

Kitty's arms tightened around him. "How on earth did I get so lucky as to have somebody as fantastic as you are love me? Shhh," she added, moving a hand over his mouth before he could protest that she was fantastic herself. "I'll... I'll try. I can't promise anything, but I'll call them. It's stupid to be running away from my problems. I don't want to be running forever."

Jamie laid a kiss in her palm before moving her hand. "That's all I'm asking. And let me know how it goes? And if it doesn't go well, well, I'll still be here."

Kitty snuggled back into his arms. "I know."