xp_logs | Angelo and Samson, Thursday afternoon

Set pre-Thermopylae. Not posted until now because... um. *sheepish* Angelo and Samson talk. About Paige, mostly.

Another month, another follow-up appointment with Dr. Samson. Not that Angelo minded much - he'd come to appreciate the regular check-ins, even if they perhaps weren't quite as urgently needed as they once had been.

"Hello, Angelo," Samson said with an easy smile as Angelo came in. He was sitting in one of the easy chairs away from the desk - they'd progressed well past the formalities. He was of the opinion Angelo
could pretty much call a halt to things any time, given the progress he'd made. "Have a seat."

Angelo sat down, returning the smile. "Mornin', doc. How're you?"

"Eh, not bad. Busy week. You?" Samson shrugged a little before turning attention back to Angelo.

"Not too bad. School's goin' pretty well, I think."

"Any closer to figuring out what you want to do after you graduate?" Samson knew that had been a problem for Angelo, having talked about it several times over the months.

He shrugged slightly. "It's lookin' like police academy, if I get the grades an' pass all the other tests. Paige gave me some prospectuses..."

Samson raised his eyebrow at that. "She did? I thought you said last time she was avoiding any thought of you leaving the school?"

"She was, I think. But now she says she doesn't want me stayin' here just because she is, with nothin' to do. She knows I'm never gonna go out for the teams, an'... she wants me to do my own thing."

Samson raised his eyebrows a little. "You sound like you're not entirely happy with that."

Angelo gave another small shrug. "I... don't know. She's just tryin' to be supportive, an' it's true I'm not gonna stay in the mansion after I graduate unless there's somethin' more for me to do here."

"That's all logical, sensible stuff, Angelo. But that's not what's bothering you. What do your feelings say?" Samson nudged gently.

Angelo fidgeted. "It's stupid."

"Angelo," Samson reminded him. "Since when has anything you've said in here been called stupid? Your feelings are just that, yours. And probably perfectly reasonable. Honesty with yourself, remember? No holding anything back, at least in here."

Angelo hesitated, then admitted quietly, "It feels like she's buildin' up to finish it. An' I know she isn't. But."

"But what?"

"Just said. Feels like she is."

"Have you spoken to her about how you feel? Only she can really answer that question, whether she is
building up to something or not." Samson had a feeling he knew what Paige's response would be any way, but he was curious as to whether Angelo felt he could at least try.

"No, I haven't. Like I said, I'm pretty sure it's just me... she was sayin' when she gave me the prospectuses that we could make this thing work, so I don't think she's actually plannin' for anythin' else..."

"And yet there's that sense of doubt... Do you think it's your fear of rejection coming through again?"
Samson asked frankly - Angelo knew his problem areas as well as he did by now.

Angelo gave him a rueful grin. "Probably."

"And what do we do with that?" When Angelo didn't answer straight away, Samson grinned and went on. "Hit it with logic, remember? Now, has she given you any reason to make you think she's not happy with the relationship?"

"Not... as such, no. There's other things she's not been happy with, but I don't think her an' me is one of them..."

"You don't think? You don't sound very sure." Samson gave him a keen look. "It's no secret she's got a lot to deal with right now - has she talked to you about any of that?"

"Not really", came the slightly unhappy answer. "She... doesn't. Usually."

Samson caught the tone and the last word. "How does it make you feel, knowing that she doesn't discuss what's bothering her with you?"

Angelo just shrugged. "Wish she would. I just want to help."

"It can be hard, not being able to help, particularly the people we care for," Samson agreed. "And personally frustrating as well, feeling as if the person doesn't trust us enough to ask."

"...Yeah. That too."

Samson tilted his head. "You know, you don't have to talk about this, Angelo. But it's obviously bothering you. So how about you give me a little more to work with here?"

"It is the trust thing, I think", Angelo said slowly. "I mean... I've told her stuff. But it's like she can't even tell me when she is havin' a hard time, let alone what it's about."

"And how does that make you feel? Emotions-wise? And remember, you don't have to sugar-coat anything, not
with me."

That brought a wry grin. "You know I'm still not too good at talkin' in those terms. But... I don't like it."

"I know. But after all we've talked about, do you really think I'll turn you away now?" It was a gentle
reminder that Samson knew Angelo's personal fears pretty well by now. "You don't like it. What else?"

Angelo sighed. "She doesn't trust me. Or, I don't know, maybe she does, but it doesn't seem like it to me."

"It feels like she's holding you at arm's length, yes?" suggested Samson. "Keeping a part of herself
apart from you?"

Angelo nodded. "'s right. An' I don't know why, except maybe... if she's scared of the same thing as me."

"Being rejected? It's entirely possible," Samson replied, knowing full well it was not only possible,
but probable. Something to touch on in his next session with her. "Paige is... a very complicated young woman, in many respects."

Another rueful grin. "Yeah, she is. Wouldn't have it any other way, except for the... distance... thing."

"The distance thing is indeed a problem, and somehow I doubt my usual advice of talking about it to her is going to work - there's a good chance she'd see it as a threat, yes?"

"Yeah, I think she would. She's got pissed off at me before for tryin' to do that."

"And so we have a catch-22," said Samson with a small rueful smile. "She won't let you in, which makes you feel like she doesn't trust you, but you can't tell her because she won't let you in." He paused, and then went on. "I know you love her, but can you tell me why you do?"

Angelo blinked. "I... um. Never really thought about it in those terms much. She was a really good friend when I first got here an' needed one..."

"Friends is a good start, but there must have been something else that made you want more than that. Apart from the usual..." Samson winked at him briefly.

He chuckled quietly. "Um... I can't quite remember. I think it just sort of... happened. Took Marie comin' to talk to me about it to give me a clue, as well."

Samson didn't push. "Think about it," he suggested. "Over time. It may be that what you feel for Paige,
and why, is enough to overcome the issues that bother you."

Angelo nodded. "I will. An'... I hope so. I think so."