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xp_logsAmanda staggers down to breakfast and receives a pleasant surprise. There are many offers of kidnapping.
"Why didn't I sleep on the plane? And where has the coffee gone?"
Bridge raised an eyebrow at Domino as she frowned down into her nearly-empty cup of coffee. "You drank it," he said, perfectly reasonably, "and you did. You were drooling on my shoulder."
"I was not, you beast. Shut up." She raked a hand through slightly disheveled black hair, gazing around incuriously at the handful of students in the dining hall. "Quiet around here. Would you finish your breakfast so that we can go see if Nate's awake yet?"
"Don't rush me."
With a yawn, Amanda stumbled into the dining hall, rubbing her eyes. It had been late when she'd gotten to sleep, and even then she'd had to resort to the sleeping pills Moira had given her. Too much going on in her head to sleep without them; Pete, Nate, the letter that MacInnis bloke had given her from Tim, Manuel contacting his father again... it had all swirled around behind her eyes every time she'd closed them until she'd given up in disgust and taken the little green pills. They always made her feel like shite the next day... Then she spotted two familiar shapes that shouldn't be here, should be in Berlin still. "Dom?" she said, or tried to say, but it came out as a squeak. Fuck words - she crossed the intervening space without touching the floor it seemed, and hurled herself into Domino's lap, wrapping her arms around the other woman's neck and holding on tightly.
Domino yelped, but her brain was only a step behind in identifying the blur as 'Amanda, running', and by then the girl had quite literally pounced her. "Easy there, little sis," she said with a breathless laugh, hugging back. "I know. We're big mean people to have shown up without warning, but stuff came up..."
Amanda clung to Domino, not wanting to let go for a second. Dom and GW were here, and that would make things all right, they always did . With a strangled sort of noise she finally loosened her grip enough to sit back and give GW a watery smile. "Mornin'," she said, hurriedly wiping away the tears that had escaped - she didn't want everyone seeing her blubbing.
"Morning, kiddo," GW said quietly, smiling back almost wistfully. "You don't look like you've been getting nearly enough sleep."
"Of course she hasn't." Domino reached out and brushed the hair back out of Amanda's face in an uncharacteristically tender gesture. "Way too much on her mind for sane sleeping habits."
"'S been... crazy, these last few weeks," Amanda admitted. realising that sitting in Domino's lap probably wasn't the most adult thing in the world but not wanting to move regardless. Right now she was happy with being a child for once, letting someone else take care of things. "'M sorry, 'bout that email. I didn't know how t' say it, only that you needed t' know, an' there wasn't anyone else t' say..." She was babbling now, great. "Any way, 'm sorry 'bout Tim an' Mick."
"It's okay. You don't need to apologize for the email." Domino's smile was a bit unsteady. "You actually beat Moira by a few hours, believe it or not."
"And we would have been here sooner," Bridge said quietly, "but like Dom said, stuff came up. Moira reassured us that Nate was stable, though. Otherwise we would have told stuff to go fuck itself."
"We've seen Ani already this morning," Domino said, unable to keep the grief out of her voice as she thought of how the feral had thrown herself at her, much like Amanda just had. "She's down talking to Charles right now. Last arrangements and all."
Amanda nodded, biting her lip. The service was the talk of the school, in hushed, reverential terms, any way. "That's why you're here, yeah? For the... the service?" Without waiting for a reply, she went on. "Nate's doin' better this mornin', least body-wise. He'll be glad t' see you lot."
Domino and Bridge exchanged a quick look. "Body-wise?" Dom asked, half-afraid to hear the answer.
Amanda could have kicked herself. "Moira didn't say?" she asked, feeling vaguely annoyed that apparently she hadn't, and it had ended up being down to Amanda to let the cat out of the bag. Why was it always her that ended up having to give this news? "Nate got beat up pretty bad... from what they're sayin', there was only four or five of 'em defendin' the door t' the kids' barracks against most of the second gens. There was a couple of bones in his back that got broken - he's gunna be all right, between me an' the docs," she hastened to add. "But he's in medlab in traction right now. Pretty busted up still. An' like I said, emotionally... not doin' so well."
"Moira filled us in about his injuries," Bridge said quietly. "What Dom means is that we were hoping he'd be doing a little better all around by the time we got here."
"Oh." Amanda rubbed her forehead fretfully. "Bloody drugs, fuck my head up right an' proper," she muttered. Pushing herself up off Domino's lap, she took a seat in an empty chair next to them and tried to pull herself together. It wasn't working terribly well this morning, but she had to for everyone else. "He's better than he was," she said. "They won't let me heal him too much or too fast, which is why he's still in medlab - bones're too much for me t' fix that fast without drainin' meself." Her tone made it clear that she would do it any way if it was up to her. "He'll walk again, they promise me that, but it'll be a while."
"We didn't expect him to be waving cheerfully from the hospital bed, don't worry." Domino leaned in, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly. "Just..." She sighed. "We looked in on him and he was asleep. Not very soundly asleep, either. If he's worse off mentally than he is physically... well, that's not reassuring."
"Don't fret so much," Bridge told her, his voice soft. "We've heard it from Moira and now Amanda... he'll recover. And he's gotten over worse than this when it comes to the emotional stuff."
"We're doin' the best we can," Amanda said miserably. "Well, the best they'll let me do. There's just so much, an' I promised Pete I'd listen t' Moira an' not hurt meself..." Her voice cracked on the name and she held onto Domino's hand tightly, trying not to do this again. "'M glad you're here. He will be, too."
"He wouldn't want you to hurt yourself trying to help him," Domino said steadily, squeezing her hand. "You know that. You're doing everything you can within what's safe." Her heart was breaking, just a little, for Amanda. Between Pete leaving, and now this...
Bridge leaned a little closer, catching Amanda's eyes with his. "It's going to be okay," he said soothingly, reaching out for her other hand. "If for no other reason than Mistra's beaten. Whatever the cost, that's something that's going to sink in for him sooner rather than later."
"I know. I just wish..." With a tired sigh, Amanda leaned over and rested her head on Domino's shoulder, holding onto GW's hand. "They're gone. That's the important thing." It sounded like she was reassuring herself more than anything else.
"And once he's awake, I get to go down there and tell him off for being dumb and noble," Domino said briskly. "If he growls at me, I know he'll be all right." She really, really hoped he growled at her.
Amanda chuckled weakly. She was hoping for growling too. Anything except that defeated blankness. "I should let you go an' see him - he should be awake now," she said, straightening and trying again for that precarious control.
Her hands were very pointedly not released. "Come down with us?" Bridge invited.
She hesitated, not wanting to intrude, and then realising how silly that was. They were family, and she had as much right to be there as anyone. And, truth be told, she didn't want to let go just yet - she wasn't ready to go back to being strong all by herself. "I'd like that," she said, voice quavering just a little but her grip on their hands never faltering.
"Of course you would," Dom said. Bridge let go of her hand, but Dom held on as she stood up, drawing Amanda up with her and sliding a very firm arm around her shoulders. Bridge went to dispose of their dishes, and Domino led Amanda towards the door. "He'll catch up," she said breezily, then lowered her voice a little. "Before he does," she said very softly, "just give me a quick yes or no. Did you let Pete know what happened?"
"Sent him an email," Amanda replied quietly. "Same time as you."
"Good girl," Domino murmured approvingly, using the arm around Amanda's shoulders to give her a quick hug. GW caught up with them and she gave him a quick, teeth-bared smile. "Obsessive-compulsive jackass."
"We're guests, Dom," Bridge said patiently. "Cleaning up after ourselves is only polite." He fell in beside them, giving the two an assessing look. He'd clearly missed something, but this wasn't the time to press. "Moira said you've been looking after her, too," he said to Amanda. "At this rate, we're going to have to kidnap you to Berlin so that you can get your share of being looked after, once term's over..."
"If you did that I'd want you t' keep me," Amanda joked weakly, although there was a certain expression in her eyes that was perfectly serious. Get me the fuck out of here! it seemed to scream. "I'll be all right - just need some sleep an' for finals t' be over. Tho' there's fat chance of me passin' anythin' this time 'round - been too busy t' actually study." Wrapping her arm around Domino's waist to hug her back, she changed the subject. "How's the rest of the Pack takin' it?"
"Sad about Mick," Bridge said with a sigh. "And Tim, for all that none of them met him. They'd heard enough about him from Mick, and from Nate over the years..."
"I wish he'd made it to Berlin for a day or two," Domino said sadly. "Would've like... well, never mind what I would have liked." She colored a little at the look GW gave her, but smiled down at Amanda.
"I talked to him, while he was here. An' he wrote me a letter, before they went in. One of those 'in case' sort of deals..." Amanda's voice tightened again, but she continued regardless. "We talked 'bout Columbia some, an' he wanted t' make sure I knew he didn't want it t' happen. He seemed... he seemed like a good bloke. Like Nate, a lot."
"Four years ago, I watched him and Nate accidentally demolish a refinery around them as they fought," Domino murmured as they headed for the stairs to the basement. "One of the scariest fucking things I've ever seen. They beat each other bloody, TK or no TK. But in the end, Tim was down, helpless. And Nathan walked away." She shook her head. "Or staggered, rather. I started to go over and finish him off - you don't leave an enemy like that alive behind you - but Nathan, well he just screamed at me. Told me to leave Tim alone, and 'help him to the fucking car'."
Amanda nodded. "He couldn't let them go. Even at Columbia, he was tryin' so hard not t' kill any of them until he had to. An' that's what's tearin' him up now - he thinks he failed 'em. Not just Mick an' Tim, but the rest of them, all those poor bastards who got killed or had their brain turned t' mush."
They started down, and Bridge sighed, looking pained. "Was afraid of that, you know," he said quietly. "I'm always afraid when Nate starts wearing his heart on his sleeve. It gets broken too easily."
"I'm telling him you called him a softie," Domino accused lightly. Bridge rolled his eyes at her. "Well, you did. More or less."
Amanda chuckled again, and it was a much more real one this time. "For mercs you're all big softies," she pointed out, with a glimmer of her old teasing manner. Things were starting to feel more normal, listening to GW and Domino banter in the usual way. "Not that 'm complainin' or anythin'."
Domino and Bridge exchanged a quick look over her head. "You need a vacation, sweetheart," GW said, a bit gruffly but still fondly, reaching out to poke her in the arm as they reached the bottom of the stairs and turned towards the medlab. "Seriously consider it, okay? Once finals are done, you're welcome to come to Berlin and stay as long as you want."
"I like the sound of that," Amanda said, unexpectedly agreeing. "Once Nate's out of here again, an' I'm on me hols, I'll see if I can't get Rom t' let me stay with you lot." She couldn't ask Pete now, obviously. She wrinkled her nose at the too-familiar antiseptic smell of medlab. " Fuck I hate this place," she muttered to herself.
"I can sweet-talk Rom," Domino offered with a wink. Her smile faded quickly as they reached the door to Nathan's room to find that yes, he was indeed awake, if staring rather flatly at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused.
Bridge moved ahead of her, going to the side of the bed. "Hey, bro," he said lightly. "You know, you have really got to stop doing this. Frequent flyer miles are all well and good, but…"
Nathan's eyes shifted to him, then to Domino and Amanda as they came up on the other side of the bed. "When did you guys get in?" His voice was low, hoarse with weariness, but clearer that it had been even yesterday.
"An hour or so again," Domino said. "You were asleep at the time."
"I came down t' breakfast an' there they were," Amanda chimed in, her voice sounding much more normal now, albeit tired. "All sneaky like."
"Mm. Thought I was the ninja?"
Domino grinned suddenly, shooting Amanda a triumphant look - See? He's making jokes! - but as she looked back at him, the smile wavered a little. Joking tone aside, the look in his eyes was still flat and dull and broken, and it scared her.
"We're making plans to kidnap her," she said nevertheless, her voice brisk. "You just had to get yourself bent into a pretzel in time for finals, didn't you? Lousy timing, Nathan. Really."
Amanda winced - she didn't want Nathan feeling any more guilty about anything. "'S all right," she said, reaching carefully through the traction equipment, to touch the back of Nathan's hand. "I'll get some extra time - they can't say no t' that, not when I've been down here helpin' out so much. Think they'll do the same for all of us medlab helpers."
Domino noted the wince, but she also noticed the slight sharpening of Nathan's eyes as he focused on Amanda, giving her a weak smile. "They'd better," he murmured. "Or I'll get up out of here and beat them all up. Which would be very funny. For everyone else."
"I gather you're not going anywhere for a while, partner," GW said, his voice gently reproving as he looked over the traction rig. "How are you feeling?"
"Not so bad, I guess..." Nathan trailed off, his expression going distant, shadowed. "Saturday, isn't it. The memorial already..."
"Yeah," Amanda answered softly. "It's in a few hours." And she still hadn't decided if she was going yet. All her instincts were against the idea of grieving in public. Pain was private, you kept it to yourself as best you could, or maybe shared it with one of two trusted people. It was what she'd learned. "'S a nice day - Ororo did her thing."
"Moira said she'll be there, so that you can see through her eyes," GW said. "Dom and I were trying to decide which of us should go, and which should stay..."
"Both of you should go," Nathan said immediately, no real energy in his voice for all the quickness of his answer. "Ani'll want the two of you there with her. Go. I'll be fine..."
"I'll stay," Amanda said quietly. At Domino's look, she added. "I don't do... this sort of thing that well, an' I'd rather be here than not."
GW was nodding, though. "I think that would be a very good idea." Nathan wouldn't interpret Amanda staying with him as anyone thinking that his hand needed to be held. And really, helping him preserve what pride he had left was a worthy goal.
Domino leaned over, brushing lank hair back from Nathan's forehead with a slightly unsteady hand. "We'll come back afterwards?" she suggested hesitantly. "We made arrangements to be here for a couple of days..."
"Okay." The agreement was definitely apathetic-sounding, and Domino straightened, trying not to sigh. Her eyes fell on a pair of white envelopes sitting on the table beside the bed, and she frowned, reaching out to them.
"Letters from Mick and Tim?" she asked, fairly certain, given that she recognized Mick's handwriting, at least.
"Don't want to open them." A little less indifference in Nathan's voice, now.
"I got one from Tim," Amanda said, still quietly. The same sort of tone she'd use for a frightened or hurt animal. "That MacInnis bloke caught me when I was finishin' up down here last night."
Nathan focused on her, again. "Tim... oh." He gazed up at her, comprehension glimmering in his tired eyes. "Should have guessed. It was... you're okay?"
She nodded. "It helped, sort of. He wanted t' say a couple of things, 'bout Columbia - we talked, when he was here, did he mention that? An' there was some other stuff too..." She trailed off, not really wanting to talk about the rest just yet, but knowing it was important Nathan knew. "~He said he'd been lucky to have known you, that your faith in him had meaning...~" The Askani words faltered just as the English had. "It helped," she said again, laying her hand more firmly over his cold one.
The look in his eyes was shattered, but more honest that the dead emptiness had been. "T-Typical." The stammer was telling. "Tim would only ever put that in a letter..."
Ignoring the twisting in her chest, Domino wished vehemently that he wasn't in the damned traction rig. Hardly any way to touch him... "Maybe Amanda would read yours to you," she suggested, her voice low and soothing.
"You know you'll want to hear what's in them," GW reminded him gently. "It might help."
"Or Moira could later. Maybe Alison." If there was Mistra stuff in there, the sort of thing Nathan usually kept from her... or just personal things. Nathan's life with Mistra was a whole other world that she was not and could never really be a part of. And part of her was glad of that.
Nathan didn't reply to any of the suggestions, though, and Domino and GW exchanged a concerned look. "Whenever you're ready," GW said finally, "I'm sure someone will."
Domino straightened, smiling a bit ruefully at Amanda. She reached out to ruffle the younger woman's hair. "You can find ways to keep him busy either way, I'm guessing..." Although it wouldn't be a matter of keeping him busy, but just keeping him company.
"I usually do," Amanda said with a faint smile, squeezing Nathan's hand before letting go. "I'll leave you two to it for a while, yeah? I need t' eat somethin' before one of the docs straps me down an' forcefeeds me or somethin', an' I figure there's stuff you want t' talk about."
"A few small things. Maybe." Domino leaned it, giving her a tight hug. "I'll come find you before we head out to the memorial, okay?"
Amanda nodded, hugging back just as hard. "Okay." She gave GW a small smile, and a slight wave as Domino released her. "I owe you a hug at some point," she said. "I'll collect later."
"Why didn't I sleep on the plane? And where has the coffee gone?"
Bridge raised an eyebrow at Domino as she frowned down into her nearly-empty cup of coffee. "You drank it," he said, perfectly reasonably, "and you did. You were drooling on my shoulder."
"I was not, you beast. Shut up." She raked a hand through slightly disheveled black hair, gazing around incuriously at the handful of students in the dining hall. "Quiet around here. Would you finish your breakfast so that we can go see if Nate's awake yet?"
"Don't rush me."
With a yawn, Amanda stumbled into the dining hall, rubbing her eyes. It had been late when she'd gotten to sleep, and even then she'd had to resort to the sleeping pills Moira had given her. Too much going on in her head to sleep without them; Pete, Nate, the letter that MacInnis bloke had given her from Tim, Manuel contacting his father again... it had all swirled around behind her eyes every time she'd closed them until she'd given up in disgust and taken the little green pills. They always made her feel like shite the next day... Then she spotted two familiar shapes that shouldn't be here, should be in Berlin still. "Dom?" she said, or tried to say, but it came out as a squeak. Fuck words - she crossed the intervening space without touching the floor it seemed, and hurled herself into Domino's lap, wrapping her arms around the other woman's neck and holding on tightly.
Domino yelped, but her brain was only a step behind in identifying the blur as 'Amanda, running', and by then the girl had quite literally pounced her. "Easy there, little sis," she said with a breathless laugh, hugging back. "I know. We're big mean people to have shown up without warning, but stuff came up..."
Amanda clung to Domino, not wanting to let go for a second. Dom and GW were here, and that would make things all right, they always did . With a strangled sort of noise she finally loosened her grip enough to sit back and give GW a watery smile. "Mornin'," she said, hurriedly wiping away the tears that had escaped - she didn't want everyone seeing her blubbing.
"Morning, kiddo," GW said quietly, smiling back almost wistfully. "You don't look like you've been getting nearly enough sleep."
"Of course she hasn't." Domino reached out and brushed the hair back out of Amanda's face in an uncharacteristically tender gesture. "Way too much on her mind for sane sleeping habits."
"'S been... crazy, these last few weeks," Amanda admitted. realising that sitting in Domino's lap probably wasn't the most adult thing in the world but not wanting to move regardless. Right now she was happy with being a child for once, letting someone else take care of things. "'M sorry, 'bout that email. I didn't know how t' say it, only that you needed t' know, an' there wasn't anyone else t' say..." She was babbling now, great. "Any way, 'm sorry 'bout Tim an' Mick."
"It's okay. You don't need to apologize for the email." Domino's smile was a bit unsteady. "You actually beat Moira by a few hours, believe it or not."
"And we would have been here sooner," Bridge said quietly, "but like Dom said, stuff came up. Moira reassured us that Nate was stable, though. Otherwise we would have told stuff to go fuck itself."
"We've seen Ani already this morning," Domino said, unable to keep the grief out of her voice as she thought of how the feral had thrown herself at her, much like Amanda just had. "She's down talking to Charles right now. Last arrangements and all."
Amanda nodded, biting her lip. The service was the talk of the school, in hushed, reverential terms, any way. "That's why you're here, yeah? For the... the service?" Without waiting for a reply, she went on. "Nate's doin' better this mornin', least body-wise. He'll be glad t' see you lot."
Domino and Bridge exchanged a quick look. "Body-wise?" Dom asked, half-afraid to hear the answer.
Amanda could have kicked herself. "Moira didn't say?" she asked, feeling vaguely annoyed that apparently she hadn't, and it had ended up being down to Amanda to let the cat out of the bag. Why was it always her that ended up having to give this news? "Nate got beat up pretty bad... from what they're sayin', there was only four or five of 'em defendin' the door t' the kids' barracks against most of the second gens. There was a couple of bones in his back that got broken - he's gunna be all right, between me an' the docs," she hastened to add. "But he's in medlab in traction right now. Pretty busted up still. An' like I said, emotionally... not doin' so well."
"Moira filled us in about his injuries," Bridge said quietly. "What Dom means is that we were hoping he'd be doing a little better all around by the time we got here."
"Oh." Amanda rubbed her forehead fretfully. "Bloody drugs, fuck my head up right an' proper," she muttered. Pushing herself up off Domino's lap, she took a seat in an empty chair next to them and tried to pull herself together. It wasn't working terribly well this morning, but she had to for everyone else. "He's better than he was," she said. "They won't let me heal him too much or too fast, which is why he's still in medlab - bones're too much for me t' fix that fast without drainin' meself." Her tone made it clear that she would do it any way if it was up to her. "He'll walk again, they promise me that, but it'll be a while."
"We didn't expect him to be waving cheerfully from the hospital bed, don't worry." Domino leaned in, taking her hand and squeezing it tightly. "Just..." She sighed. "We looked in on him and he was asleep. Not very soundly asleep, either. If he's worse off mentally than he is physically... well, that's not reassuring."
"Don't fret so much," Bridge told her, his voice soft. "We've heard it from Moira and now Amanda... he'll recover. And he's gotten over worse than this when it comes to the emotional stuff."
"We're doin' the best we can," Amanda said miserably. "Well, the best they'll let me do. There's just so much, an' I promised Pete I'd listen t' Moira an' not hurt meself..." Her voice cracked on the name and she held onto Domino's hand tightly, trying not to do this again. "'M glad you're here. He will be, too."
"He wouldn't want you to hurt yourself trying to help him," Domino said steadily, squeezing her hand. "You know that. You're doing everything you can within what's safe." Her heart was breaking, just a little, for Amanda. Between Pete leaving, and now this...
Bridge leaned a little closer, catching Amanda's eyes with his. "It's going to be okay," he said soothingly, reaching out for her other hand. "If for no other reason than Mistra's beaten. Whatever the cost, that's something that's going to sink in for him sooner rather than later."
"I know. I just wish..." With a tired sigh, Amanda leaned over and rested her head on Domino's shoulder, holding onto GW's hand. "They're gone. That's the important thing." It sounded like she was reassuring herself more than anything else.
"And once he's awake, I get to go down there and tell him off for being dumb and noble," Domino said briskly. "If he growls at me, I know he'll be all right." She really, really hoped he growled at her.
Amanda chuckled weakly. She was hoping for growling too. Anything except that defeated blankness. "I should let you go an' see him - he should be awake now," she said, straightening and trying again for that precarious control.
Her hands were very pointedly not released. "Come down with us?" Bridge invited.
She hesitated, not wanting to intrude, and then realising how silly that was. They were family, and she had as much right to be there as anyone. And, truth be told, she didn't want to let go just yet - she wasn't ready to go back to being strong all by herself. "I'd like that," she said, voice quavering just a little but her grip on their hands never faltering.
"Of course you would," Dom said. Bridge let go of her hand, but Dom held on as she stood up, drawing Amanda up with her and sliding a very firm arm around her shoulders. Bridge went to dispose of their dishes, and Domino led Amanda towards the door. "He'll catch up," she said breezily, then lowered her voice a little. "Before he does," she said very softly, "just give me a quick yes or no. Did you let Pete know what happened?"
"Sent him an email," Amanda replied quietly. "Same time as you."
"Good girl," Domino murmured approvingly, using the arm around Amanda's shoulders to give her a quick hug. GW caught up with them and she gave him a quick, teeth-bared smile. "Obsessive-compulsive jackass."
"We're guests, Dom," Bridge said patiently. "Cleaning up after ourselves is only polite." He fell in beside them, giving the two an assessing look. He'd clearly missed something, but this wasn't the time to press. "Moira said you've been looking after her, too," he said to Amanda. "At this rate, we're going to have to kidnap you to Berlin so that you can get your share of being looked after, once term's over..."
"If you did that I'd want you t' keep me," Amanda joked weakly, although there was a certain expression in her eyes that was perfectly serious. Get me the fuck out of here! it seemed to scream. "I'll be all right - just need some sleep an' for finals t' be over. Tho' there's fat chance of me passin' anythin' this time 'round - been too busy t' actually study." Wrapping her arm around Domino's waist to hug her back, she changed the subject. "How's the rest of the Pack takin' it?"
"Sad about Mick," Bridge said with a sigh. "And Tim, for all that none of them met him. They'd heard enough about him from Mick, and from Nate over the years..."
"I wish he'd made it to Berlin for a day or two," Domino said sadly. "Would've like... well, never mind what I would have liked." She colored a little at the look GW gave her, but smiled down at Amanda.
"I talked to him, while he was here. An' he wrote me a letter, before they went in. One of those 'in case' sort of deals..." Amanda's voice tightened again, but she continued regardless. "We talked 'bout Columbia some, an' he wanted t' make sure I knew he didn't want it t' happen. He seemed... he seemed like a good bloke. Like Nate, a lot."
"Four years ago, I watched him and Nate accidentally demolish a refinery around them as they fought," Domino murmured as they headed for the stairs to the basement. "One of the scariest fucking things I've ever seen. They beat each other bloody, TK or no TK. But in the end, Tim was down, helpless. And Nathan walked away." She shook her head. "Or staggered, rather. I started to go over and finish him off - you don't leave an enemy like that alive behind you - but Nathan, well he just screamed at me. Told me to leave Tim alone, and 'help him to the fucking car'."
Amanda nodded. "He couldn't let them go. Even at Columbia, he was tryin' so hard not t' kill any of them until he had to. An' that's what's tearin' him up now - he thinks he failed 'em. Not just Mick an' Tim, but the rest of them, all those poor bastards who got killed or had their brain turned t' mush."
They started down, and Bridge sighed, looking pained. "Was afraid of that, you know," he said quietly. "I'm always afraid when Nate starts wearing his heart on his sleeve. It gets broken too easily."
"I'm telling him you called him a softie," Domino accused lightly. Bridge rolled his eyes at her. "Well, you did. More or less."
Amanda chuckled again, and it was a much more real one this time. "For mercs you're all big softies," she pointed out, with a glimmer of her old teasing manner. Things were starting to feel more normal, listening to GW and Domino banter in the usual way. "Not that 'm complainin' or anythin'."
Domino and Bridge exchanged a quick look over her head. "You need a vacation, sweetheart," GW said, a bit gruffly but still fondly, reaching out to poke her in the arm as they reached the bottom of the stairs and turned towards the medlab. "Seriously consider it, okay? Once finals are done, you're welcome to come to Berlin and stay as long as you want."
"I like the sound of that," Amanda said, unexpectedly agreeing. "Once Nate's out of here again, an' I'm on me hols, I'll see if I can't get Rom t' let me stay with you lot." She couldn't ask Pete now, obviously. She wrinkled her nose at the too-familiar antiseptic smell of medlab. " Fuck I hate this place," she muttered to herself.
"I can sweet-talk Rom," Domino offered with a wink. Her smile faded quickly as they reached the door to Nathan's room to find that yes, he was indeed awake, if staring rather flatly at the ceiling, his eyes unfocused.
Bridge moved ahead of her, going to the side of the bed. "Hey, bro," he said lightly. "You know, you have really got to stop doing this. Frequent flyer miles are all well and good, but…"
Nathan's eyes shifted to him, then to Domino and Amanda as they came up on the other side of the bed. "When did you guys get in?" His voice was low, hoarse with weariness, but clearer that it had been even yesterday.
"An hour or so again," Domino said. "You were asleep at the time."
"I came down t' breakfast an' there they were," Amanda chimed in, her voice sounding much more normal now, albeit tired. "All sneaky like."
"Mm. Thought I was the ninja?"
Domino grinned suddenly, shooting Amanda a triumphant look - See? He's making jokes! - but as she looked back at him, the smile wavered a little. Joking tone aside, the look in his eyes was still flat and dull and broken, and it scared her.
"We're making plans to kidnap her," she said nevertheless, her voice brisk. "You just had to get yourself bent into a pretzel in time for finals, didn't you? Lousy timing, Nathan. Really."
Amanda winced - she didn't want Nathan feeling any more guilty about anything. "'S all right," she said, reaching carefully through the traction equipment, to touch the back of Nathan's hand. "I'll get some extra time - they can't say no t' that, not when I've been down here helpin' out so much. Think they'll do the same for all of us medlab helpers."
Domino noted the wince, but she also noticed the slight sharpening of Nathan's eyes as he focused on Amanda, giving her a weak smile. "They'd better," he murmured. "Or I'll get up out of here and beat them all up. Which would be very funny. For everyone else."
"I gather you're not going anywhere for a while, partner," GW said, his voice gently reproving as he looked over the traction rig. "How are you feeling?"
"Not so bad, I guess..." Nathan trailed off, his expression going distant, shadowed. "Saturday, isn't it. The memorial already..."
"Yeah," Amanda answered softly. "It's in a few hours." And she still hadn't decided if she was going yet. All her instincts were against the idea of grieving in public. Pain was private, you kept it to yourself as best you could, or maybe shared it with one of two trusted people. It was what she'd learned. "'S a nice day - Ororo did her thing."
"Moira said she'll be there, so that you can see through her eyes," GW said. "Dom and I were trying to decide which of us should go, and which should stay..."
"Both of you should go," Nathan said immediately, no real energy in his voice for all the quickness of his answer. "Ani'll want the two of you there with her. Go. I'll be fine..."
"I'll stay," Amanda said quietly. At Domino's look, she added. "I don't do... this sort of thing that well, an' I'd rather be here than not."
GW was nodding, though. "I think that would be a very good idea." Nathan wouldn't interpret Amanda staying with him as anyone thinking that his hand needed to be held. And really, helping him preserve what pride he had left was a worthy goal.
Domino leaned over, brushing lank hair back from Nathan's forehead with a slightly unsteady hand. "We'll come back afterwards?" she suggested hesitantly. "We made arrangements to be here for a couple of days..."
"Okay." The agreement was definitely apathetic-sounding, and Domino straightened, trying not to sigh. Her eyes fell on a pair of white envelopes sitting on the table beside the bed, and she frowned, reaching out to them.
"Letters from Mick and Tim?" she asked, fairly certain, given that she recognized Mick's handwriting, at least.
"Don't want to open them." A little less indifference in Nathan's voice, now.
"I got one from Tim," Amanda said, still quietly. The same sort of tone she'd use for a frightened or hurt animal. "That MacInnis bloke caught me when I was finishin' up down here last night."
Nathan focused on her, again. "Tim... oh." He gazed up at her, comprehension glimmering in his tired eyes. "Should have guessed. It was... you're okay?"
She nodded. "It helped, sort of. He wanted t' say a couple of things, 'bout Columbia - we talked, when he was here, did he mention that? An' there was some other stuff too..." She trailed off, not really wanting to talk about the rest just yet, but knowing it was important Nathan knew. "~He said he'd been lucky to have known you, that your faith in him had meaning...~" The Askani words faltered just as the English had. "It helped," she said again, laying her hand more firmly over his cold one.
The look in his eyes was shattered, but more honest that the dead emptiness had been. "T-Typical." The stammer was telling. "Tim would only ever put that in a letter..."
Ignoring the twisting in her chest, Domino wished vehemently that he wasn't in the damned traction rig. Hardly any way to touch him... "Maybe Amanda would read yours to you," she suggested, her voice low and soothing.
"You know you'll want to hear what's in them," GW reminded him gently. "It might help."
"Or Moira could later. Maybe Alison." If there was Mistra stuff in there, the sort of thing Nathan usually kept from her... or just personal things. Nathan's life with Mistra was a whole other world that she was not and could never really be a part of. And part of her was glad of that.
Nathan didn't reply to any of the suggestions, though, and Domino and GW exchanged a concerned look. "Whenever you're ready," GW said finally, "I'm sure someone will."
Domino straightened, smiling a bit ruefully at Amanda. She reached out to ruffle the younger woman's hair. "You can find ways to keep him busy either way, I'm guessing..." Although it wouldn't be a matter of keeping him busy, but just keeping him company.
"I usually do," Amanda said with a faint smile, squeezing Nathan's hand before letting go. "I'll leave you two to it for a while, yeah? I need t' eat somethin' before one of the docs straps me down an' forcefeeds me or somethin', an' I figure there's stuff you want t' talk about."
"A few small things. Maybe." Domino leaned it, giving her a tight hug. "I'll come find you before we head out to the memorial, okay?"
Amanda nodded, hugging back just as hard. "Okay." She gave GW a small smile, and a slight wave as Domino released her. "I owe you a hug at some point," she said. "I'll collect later."
