Scott and Jubilee log

[x-jubilee.livejournal.com]

Date: Monday 28th March 2005 Time: 9am

Who: Scott Summers, Jubilation Lee
What Happens: Jubilee comes to see Scott with that question she had to ask.




Jubilee knocked on Scott's office door, rubbing her suddenly moist palms against her legs. Why the hell was she suddenly so nervous? He could only refuse her again - then she'd just get Hank to run her through the training programs till she thought she could do them backwards, and then she'd come back and ask him again and again till he let her. She wasn't giving up this time.

"Come in," Scott called, scrolling idly through the parameters for a new training scenario. Coming up with ones that could incorporate Cain was turning out to be more of a challenge than he'd expected.

Jubilee opened the door, trying for a bright and sunny disposition and probably getting something that looked like constipation. Small talk, which was what you usually, went with to start a conversation. "Hey, Cyke."

"Morning," Scott said amiably enough, waving with his free hand to the chair on the other side of the desk. "Watch your feet," he said. "You accidentally kick my bad leg under the desk I'm liable to either shout at you or pass out."

Jubilee grinned and flopped down into the seat in her usual boneless slouch before remembering she was meant to be looking adult and responsible. She slowly sat back up, placing her hands in her lap.

"Well, I'll try not to. Considerin' someone would probably be in here in a flash to give me hell for hurtin' you. Don't think they trust me much with your well being after our shoutin' match." Jubilee replied.

"Ancient history," Scott said easily, then smiled briefly. "Still. No kicking the leg. But back to the point - what can I do for you?"

Eep! Wasn't there meant to be small talk? You know, stuff about the weather and some crap about football scores? She wasn't ready! She'd have to ask it anyway.

"I wanted to ask you about becoming a trainee." she replied.

Well, part of him had suspected this was coming... "Haven't we had this conversation before?" he asked, not unkindly.

"Kinda. But this time I'm willin' to nag." Jubilee replied, a hint of mischief in her eyes.

She really shouldn't be making jokes right now. But she couldn't help it. It was all the time spent with Hank and Madelyn. She was starting to get somewhat soft.

Scott leaned across the desk a little, meeting her eyes. "Why?" he asked simply. "What's changed?" There was nothing confrontational about his question or body language.

Jubilee took a deep breath, thinking of all the things she’d organised in her head to say and then abandoned them all. She’d say what she felt, it was the only words that really meant anything.

“I know trainees don’t go on missions. At least, not that I’m aware of. But, havin’ ta wait for Mads to come back, for everyone ta come back really. Knowin’ that they got hurt while I was back here just waitin’. I can’t say me bein’ there woulda made a difference. Probably wouldn’t have. Or even that me bein’ here, but able to do somethin’ other then just wait with my hands in my lap woulda. But, it’s better ta do somethin’. To make what I’ve got count then just sit around and not. And I know you’re gonna say I could do somethin’ anyway. Maybe look after the kids, or whatever. But I can do that and still be a trainee. An maybe next time, havin’ one more trained person will make the difference. It can’t hurt.”

"It's a huge commitment of time, you know." Scott regarded her patiently. "And more than time. Not to mention that you might not like the discipline involved... I know that you've made progress in that area, Jubilee, but it's not enough. You'd have a hell of a lot of work to do."

"Whatever it took. I wouldn't have gotten as good in gymnastics as I have without knowin' about commitment, Cyke. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do." Jubilee replied, her face settling into determined lines.

She could do this; she knew she could do it. She just needed the chance to prove it. Someone to believe she could, someone other then herself anyhow.

Scott watched her for a long moment. "I'll talk to the other team leaders," he finally said with a brief smile. "I don't make these choices on my own anymore, remember."

“Yeah, I know. But they respect you, an if you put a good word in for me, they’d listen. So I guess I’ll wait an see. I can be patient.” She replied.

Scott bit his lip, studying her for another long moment. "Is it all about left behind and not being able to help the people you care about?" he pressed.

"Not all. Maybe some of it's about doing something with the power I've been given. Whether that's bein' on the team, or bein' a cop. Maybe it's about bein' both. Not cause someone tells me I should, or cause it's the right thing ta do. Or even cause there's some picture in my head of bein' a big hero. But because it makes me feel like...Like I'm doin' somethin' right for a change. Movin' forward, instead of standin' still." Jubilee said, tone thoughtful, eyes somewhat distant as she imagined what it could lead to.

She wasn't sure of the future, of what she was going to be, or even what she could realistically be. But if she didn't try? She'd never be anything more then a drifter, or a parasite. She didn't want that.

Scott tilted his head thoughtfully. "Write something," he said finally. "Just a page or two. Try and lay out all the reasons you can think of, why you decided to ask me this."

Jubilee blinked in surprise. "Like, now?"

He laughed. "Not now, no. Take the next couple of days and do it. Give it to me when you're done, and I'll show it to Alison and Ororo. And the Professor."

"Okay, I think I can do that." Jubilee replied, already listing in her head what she should put on the paper.

It would be difficult - she still wasn't entirely comfortable with emotions and reasonings to know how it'd sound on paper. But she'd do it. She thought about taking her leave, and then remembered his leg. She stared at it thoughtfully for a second. "Cyke...could you use a hand? Like, with gettin' things or anythin'?" she asked tentatively.

Scott blinked, then smiled. "People keep asking me that. One of these days I'm going to start exploiting it shamelessly." He shrugged a little, still smiling. "Nothing I can think of off the top of my head, Jubilee. But I appreciate the offer."

Jubilee grinned, and got up. "Guess I ought to leave you too it, then. Got study to do for finals. I'll see you in a few days."

"Looking forward to reading it." As Jubilee let herself out, Scott shook his head quizzically. Had he just assigned her a 'Why I want to join the X-Men' essay? Well, that was new.