xp_logs | Manuel & Dani

Dani runs into Manuel kinda-not-on-purpose at the coffee shop and they comiserate about recent events and understand each other - even with Dani's powers inhibited. There is coffee.

Manuel looked at his enormous cup of coffee, and then at the relatively sparse crowds of the mid-afternoon coffee shop. He and Marie-Ange had discovered the place a few weeks ago, and he was indulging in a guilty pleasure - the Turkish coffee. Made the old-fashioned way, by hand. Expensive, but oh-so-worth-it to frazzled empathic nerves. And right now, if his got any more frazzled he would, as Forge would say, flip out and kill people like a ninja.

The door jingled happily as Danielle walked in looking around. She had thought she'd seen Manuel's car, or at least the one he seemed to drive a lot, outside. Ah, there he was, looking about as happy as she felt. Heading over, she sat down heavily in a plush chair across from him, not bothering with niceties.

Manuel grinned a sickly grin at Danielle. "You look like I feel." he commented. "I take it your roadtrip did not go well?"

"I thought that first," Danielle groaned, rubbing the small of her back, "I hate life. All of it. And you?"

"Not _only_ do I hate life, life apparently hates me to a degree that I have never before seen. And I used to live in an insane asylum." he joked before taking a sip of his coffee. Ah, heaven in a cup. "My father died while you were away. Was murdered, actually." he casually pointed out. "Four thousand years of family history and pride, gone."

"Because your dad was killed?" that didn't make sense, "You're still here, ain't ya? Or are you a ghost too? Besides, I thought he had other kids too," eyeing his coffee, Dani refused to move.

"Well, OK, more like two thousand years and some change. But still." he self-corrected. "I'm not a de la Rocha anymore. The equivalent, let me see here, is you calling yourself a Cheyenee or whatever you are when the tribal elders got together and kicked your ass out of the tribe."

"Not too far from the truth," she muttered thinking back to her talk with some of the elders. She wasn't offically unwelcome, but unofficially people had been talking, "So...what good does being a de la Rocha do you?"

Manuel sighed as she ripped right across his open emotional wound. "A tie to history." he said after a few hard-fought moments warring for control. "Being the heir to a destiny two thousand years in the making. A place in the universe. May as well ask what good being Cheyenne is for you." he shot back, returning pain for pain.

Glaring, Danielle flagged down a waiteress to get something to drink, "Coffee. As big as you got," helplessly she looked at Manuel for a suggestion.

Manuel glanced at the server. "You heard the lady. Get her the Brazillian, she could use it." he told the servant before dismissing her completely from his mind. "So - what good does being a Cheyenne do you?" he asked, mimicking her intonations as best he could.

"Identity," she answered slowly thinking out loud, "History. A common...what do you call it? Bond, I guess. Similar backgrounds with other people. Cheyenne ain't who I am, it's what I am."

"See, it doesn't work like that for me. I was a de la Rocha. I was _the_ de la Rocha. The heir, the last surviving member. Then my father disowned me in favor of trying to continue the line elsewhere. And then some fuck killed him before he had the chance." he said bitterly. "But that's OK, because I'm Manuel and what I feel doesn't matter." he groused.

"So we're back to that again? Thanks." Danielle replied, accepting the coffee from the waitress, and taking a big sip before turning back to Manuel, "I thought we went over that, ain't it? What you feel matters. It may not affect anything, but it still matters."

"That's nice for me to believe, but Amanda's not buying it. And she's lived in my head for months now." he said bitterly. "Not that I'm, like, bitter or anything. How could she spend so much time bonded to me and _not understand how I feel_? Bah! Women!" he grumbled with a fine disregard for Dani's sex.

Raising an eyebrow, Dani turned down the dampner on the inhibitor, trying to feel Manuel. Her head buzzing slightly, she turned the inhibitor on completely, unfortuantly she felt everything except him, "If she's in your head and don't understand, then what makes you think she'll ever understand?"

"That's one of the things I have been struggling with these last few days - in between mourning for my family and the end of the line." he said. "I am not finding any comforting answers. But if I isolate myself, if I take the path my blood burns for me to take ... it will lead to horrible things." he confessed.

"You want blood for blood," Dani said calmly, nodding in understanding, "Makes sense. But let me ask you this - if you do kill whoever killed your father, or anyone who helped, whatever, when does the blood stop? Because then their kids come after you and the circle continues...like the Cheyenne and Pawnee. It won't matter what started it, just that it was started. You want that?"

Manuel grinned a devilishly feral grin. "Have you forgotten what we are so quickly? I can steal desires as much as I can inflame them." he said cockily. "And I don't know if I want to take vengeance for my father's death. He was, after all, a filthy pervert, a liar par excallance, and a thief." he said casually.

"So you'd do something worse than kill them?" Dani asked, paling despite her darker skin, "You can't do that, Manuel. I won't let you, no matter how much you want to."

"Is the man who killed my father just going to walk away from it?" Manuel asked. "He was _my father_. Sure, he was a shit, but he was _all that I had_! It is my final duty to him. But, I don't really want to do him even that much honor. I don't know." he said, drinking heavily from his coffeecup.

Shaking her head, Dani sipped her coffee wondering what Dr. McCoy would say if he caught her. Oh well, "I didn't say you couldn't do anything, Manuel. I understand what you want, agree with it even. But you can't rape them! That's worse than death...and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy!"

Manuel smiled thinly. "Are you sure about that, Danielle? Do not lie to me or yourself. If you had the chance, you'd gladly take your ex-husband and tie him down. You do not have to tell me this, I have felt it in the dark places where you do not look. But I don't want to rape anybody. Rape is common. Simpletons rape. I ... I don't know what I want. Part of my wants revenge - the more extended and crueller the better. Another part of me wants to forget the entire thing happened, make a new life as Manuel de Guzeman. Forge my own destiny. And another part misses Amanda so badly that I can't sleep at night, can't eat, can't even feel without reaching out for her."

Using the large coffee cup, Dani tried to hide her emotions. He'd struck a nerve with his comments...as he'd intended. Taking a minute to compose herself again, she set the almost empty cup on the table and place one hand on her stomach, "I ain't gonna tell you what to do, Manuel. I guess, you gotta figure out what the most important thing is and if you're willing to deal with what happens after that. It don't mean you gotta like the decision," like she didn't like some of the ones she'd made.

Manuel took a deep breath, and blew it out slowly. "You're right." he said after a few long moments. "You usually speak truth, even when I do not want to hear it. Thank you for that, Danielle. You would have almost made a good de la Rocha." he said, patting her hand with his.

"Almost?" she asked, smiling and leaning over to give him a hug. He looked like he needed one. And regardless, she needed one. "We need more coffee."

Manuel returned the hug almost desperately, craving physical contact right then. "We do." he admitted, trying to not break down completely before the girl and in public. "Well, I do. You should not have any more." he said shakily.

"Fuck that," Dani said with gusto, scooting over in her chair, "Come here. And I need coffee. I gave my baby up for adoption. This calls for something a lot stronger than coffee."

Manuel fought with his conscience for about a quarter-second, and lost. "No lie, little sister. No lie." he said with a shaky laugh, reaching out an arm for another hug. "You're giving up the baby?

Dani leaned against him, her head on his shoulder, "Yeah," she replied softly, "He don't need some mental patient for a mother."

Manuel nodded. "I've been a mental patient before." he said softly. "It really sucks - especially for people like us." he said to Danielle. "I just ... I wish I could help you. And the baby."

"It'll work out," Dani assured him, not explaining it was Dr. McCoy who was adopting the baby, "So will your problems too. You gonna go to his funeral?"

"I cannot." he said sadly. "I'm a wanted man in Spain, and I dare not try to arrange something to get me into the country on so short a notice." he said sadly. "I think I will see about having a small ceremony on the grounds, to try to get some closure out of the whole affair." he said. "I wonder if this will be permitted, considering what my father has done? Does a son's grief overrule a school's security? Probably not."

"Anything's better than nothing. Why? You want some full Catholic whatever like they're doing for the Pope?" Dani wasn't trying to be insensitive and disrespectful, it just came out that way, "'Cause you can have a funeral for him without all that."

Manuel choked out a laugh at that. "Spain may be Catholic, but de la Rochas are not." he said around highly inappropriate giggles. "Actually, I was kind of thinking of honoring him in the old ways. Something I felt while in Asgard..." he said, but then let the thought die.

"...and?" she asked, curious, "Ain't nothing wrong with the old ways."

"No, I suppose there isn't." he said with a grin.