xp_logs | Nathan and Jubilee, Thursday late afternoon

Jubilee stops in to visit Nathan and tell him about her new trainee status. He already knows, and is aggressively unenthusiastic enough that they get into something of an argument. Miraculously, they also settle it, and some more Tolkien is read.

Jubilee pulled to a stop outside Nathan's room, ribbons jingling softly. She'd forgone the Princess Leia do today and merely put her hair up in pigtails. She liked the small ringing sound the bells made and hadn't yet tired of it. She knocked softly on the door and opened it, peering inside.

"Awake?" she asked softly.

It wasn't late, but Nathan was sick, so it was possible he could be sleeping.

And he was. The session with Jack had been exhausting, and he'd drifted off into a restless doze almost as soon as Jack had gone again. Jubilee's presence was enough to jar him back out of it, though, and he opened his eyes, making a noise that might have been 'Yes' or 'No' or 'Go away'.

Jubilee, for her part, grinned and swept into the room, taking a seat in a flurry of ribbons and muttering as she tried to get comfortable.

She looked at him curiously. "How are we?" she asked, positively radiating good cheer.

"Fine," Nathan muttered a bit more intelligibly. It wasn't a total lie. He hurt, but then, he always hurt these days, and he did feel a little more settled after the conversation with Jack. "You're ringing."

"My ribbons! They've got these totally wicked bells on them and they jingle when I move my head. Aren't they cool?" Jubilee replied, looking at the ceiling.

She never got tired of looking at it when she was in here, trying to figure out what each of the objects might mean to the person who'd put them up there.

"Cool," Nathan echoed a bit dimly, trying to wake up. He didn't really want to. "You're in a cheery mood..." He didn't trust people who were in cheery moods. They grated on him.

"I got in! To trainee status...with the X-men. I asked Scott and he got me to write all this stuff down. By the way, I totally object to the writing of stuff down. Why is it adults always make you do that? Anyway, so I wrote everythin' down and then voila, I'm a trainee!" Jubilee replied.

She bounced a little in her seat, grinning suddenly. Okay, so she was being deliberately air headed right now but she was in a teasing mood. Nathan should be strong enough now to take a little teasing without it hurting him. Besides, she really wanted to see Nathan's response to that news.

"I saw that," Nathan said, disappointing her. "Remember, I can surf the journals now. Scott announced it to the rest of the team."

"Oh yeah." Jubilee replied. Damn. Sharing surprising news was no fun when the person you were telling wasn't surprised. "Anyway, I totally invented a new sandwich spread too! Liquorice and honey. Angelo was totally in the need of bein' cheered up so we inflicted mass food crime on Lorna's kitchen and mixed 'things that should not be'. Was kinda fun."

Remembering why Angelo would have needed cheering up, Nathan made a face. "Doesn't sound at all appealing," he said, and ignored the little voice that told him he was being a grump. He could be a grump if he wanted. Jack had said so... well, okay, he hadn't, but as far as Nathan was concerned, being a scintillating conversationalist was one of those things he should do, and was thus questionable.

Grumpy Nate...hmm. Unfortunately, all the things that Jubilee could think of to deal with someone being grumpy, up to and including making them angry enough to throw things weren't going to work when said grumpy person was rather badly injured. Damn.

"Well, it actually tastes pretty good. Which was a total surprise. I'd totally make you some but I think they'd frown at me and say I was attemptin' ta poison you or somethin'."

"I'm still eating through a tube, Jubilee," Nathan pointed out dourly. "I'll have to wait to sample your creations for a while yet, poison or no poison."

Jubilee shrugged, realised he couldn't see her from this position but didn't say anything more about it. He seemed determined to be in a right snit today. What she wanted to say was 'I see you're fine being a miserable ass, so I won't trouble you any further.'

What she did was get up and walk to the door. She had study to do, things that needed to be read. If Nathan didn't want company, she wasn't going to sit around trying to find words to say to someone who clearly disliked her presence. She'd hesitated at the door though. She was sure someone would come to visit, he had enough people that cared that he didn't really need her sitting here. But there was something, the same feeling she'd talked to Hank about. You didn't leave people alone, even if you thought someone else might come along soon.

"I don't know what to say to you." she finally said.

Nathan stared up at the ceiling. "You're being flippant," he said. "About becoming a trainee. Like it's some kind of grand new adventure."

"How am I meant to be?" she asked, truly curious.

It wasn't that she wasn't aware of the importance of what she was doing, not just to herself but for the team as a whole. Was she treating it as he said? No, not inwardly but did that mean she was meant to walk around talking about it in hushed tones?

"Less giddy." Maybe he was being unfair... he was probably being unfair... but he just couldn't lie here and be enthusiastic with her. "Never mind," he said, his voice still flat, but less of an edge to it. "Ignore me. Too long since my last dose of painkillers."

Jubilee snorted. "Dude, if you're gonna be honest with me, just do it. I don't need ya takin' it back afterward ta spare my precious little feelin's. I'm not meant ta be gettin' ya upset, so maybe I shouldn't be doin' this. Thing is, how can I not be giddy about it?"

Jubilee leant back against the wall, looking up at the pictures on the roof. It wasn't something she thought people would have done for her, despite what Hank might say about people caring for her. She knew she'd have to acknowledge that people did sooner or later but it would mean facing the fact that she couldn't just walk away anymore. She wasn't sure she was ready for that just yet.

"You know, when I first came here there's no way they'd have ever let me near the team, not even as a trainee."

"What do you want, Jubilee?" The small reserve of patience he'd had was gone at her snarky comment about sparing her feelings. "You've made lots of progress, yes. Maybe I haven't been the best person in the world about telling you that, but maybe I'm also giving you credit for having more insight into yourself than you used to." He just really wasn't in the mood to hear her rehash 'how I got from point A to point B and how I feel about it'.

"It's up to you, how you do as a trainee," he growled tiredly. "I hope you'll do well, because I know this is something you want. But kindly don't expect me to be delighted for you, all right? I don't have advice for you, or hell, much in the way of support, because the last time I wore my leathers might in fact be the last time I wear my leathers. Sorry if that means I'm not up for much team-related bonding."

Jubilee couldn't help it, she laughed at him. "Oh Dude. Self pity, much? 'Boo Hoo, I'm stuck in traction and I'll never walk again.' Fuckin' spare me. You'll walk again, an put on the leather suit. You got some of the best doctors in the fuckin' world right here, no way they're gonna not fix you up good as new. It'll take time, but you will be. As to what I want from you? Nothing. Haven't wanted anythin' from you for awhile. Or anyone else for that matter. I get by, hey? I do alright. I don't need anyones advice, or expect anyone to be delighted for me." Jubilee stated, keeping her voice calm and level. There would be no shouting from her. But she couldn't, well, okay, she wouldn't let him lay there with what she considered a misconception.

And if she wasn't exactly delicate in how she told him that, well...whatever. "Dude, you spend all your time layin' there, thinkin' you'll never do anythin' again an all it's gonna do is rot your mind. Nate I knew wouldn't be that fuckin' stupid."

Nathan stared flatly up at the ceiling, not really seeing the collage. "You think I mean I don't expect to walk again?" Of course she did. "No one knows if I'll get back to 100%, Jubilee, but I sure as hell don't intend to be stuck in a wheelchair the rest of my life. And when did I say I didn't expect to be able to do anything?"

His eyes slid in her direction, although she was out of his immediate line of sight. "I meant that I don't know if I'll ever put those leathers back on again. That's something entirely different from not being able to put them back on again, and if I hadn't already been the bad, unethical telepath with you once, I'd show you exactly why I'm having a little trouble with the idea of getting back on the fucking horse."

Okay, so that was a little different. Although, now she was wondering just what had happened to him out there. Should she ask him to show her anyway? She wasn't sure he was supposed to be using his powers. "Thought you weren't supposed to be usin' your powers or somethin'." Jubilee replied, moving more into his line of sight.

Since she was going to be continuing this conversation, she might as well move where he could see her.

"I'm not. Don't think I'd do that to you anyway," Nathan said, his voice a little hoarse. "After what happened, I think it's going to be a while before using my telepathy in any kind of forceful way looks like a viable option."

"Tell me then?" Jubilee asked, eyeing him. "Much as it might surprise you, I don't come down ta see you cause I've got some weird Florence Nightingale syndrome goin'. I do, well, I care."

Now there was a scary admission. She didn't usually tell people she cared when she wasn't particularly sure they liked her at all. But, she did care. He'd never been easy on her but he had tried to help at one stage. It meant something, to her at least.

What the hell, he thought a bit apathetically. If she was going to train for the team, she'd see the reports at some point anyway. His report, too. The one he hadn't written yet. Scott had broached the subject very gently the last time he'd been down, and Nathan hadn't known what to tell him about when he could expect it.

So he told her. About the second-gens being driven insane by the trigger, about meeting up with Tim's team at the doors of the training barracks and trying to protect the door. Watching the others fall around him, until he was the only one left on his feet... Alison's arrival and the shield, and how necessity had dictated that he stay outside it, to try and keep them back, buy as much time as possible for more reinforcements to appear. He told her about Mick, bleeding to death and still powering Alison's shield. The hit that had finally taken him down, moments before the shield had finally fallen.

His voice wavered just a little, maybe, when he told her about the Trojan Horse.

Jubilee's face was wet with tears, she hadn't known Mick or any of the others but she remembered his letter to Madelyn and the funeral. It was worse then she'd imagined, that day. She'd thought she could guess what Mistra might do from what she'd seen of them in Nate's mind but Gods. "Did they...Did anyone ever figure out why it didn't work? The Trojan horse, I mean."

"Someone was blocking it." MacInnis had explained to him how, but he'd tuned it out. Hadn't really been in the mood to listen that day. "By the time one of our people stopped the person who was doing it, the trigger had long since gone off. There wasn't anything left in their minds but the imperatives... their orders. And the Trojan Horse destroyed those."

She wished she could hug him, tell him something that would mean anything after having to go through something like that. "Nate, you had no choice. Mistra had to be stopped. You...do you know why I was so upset after the dream? It wasn't you. When I was in there, when I saw the telepaths, whatever they were, it was like they saw something in me. Something they liked, that they could use. It's when everything changed. When I decided to really try and be different. I couldn't be something they'd value, even if it was only dream images."

Retelling it all had exhausted him. "Some good came out of an accident, then," he said wearily. "Can't complain about that, I guess..."

"I'm sorry, you know. For what I did to you afterwards. It's not somethin' I'm proud of." Jubilee replied, moving forward and softly laying a hand on his shoulder.

She was afraid of hurting him but she didn't think anyone should be alone with those kind of memories.

It was the unburned shoulder she touched, thankfully. He had the suspicion that accidentally hurting him right this second would probably have sent her into a bit of a tailspin. "It's all right," he said tiredly. "Prefer to remember you sitting down here reading Tolkien to me, anyway..."

Jubilee smiled, the tears still lending a sparkle to her eyes before she brushed them away. "I brought it, ya know. I could read ya some more? We were up to Fanghorn, right? They're lookin' for Merry an Pippin'. You know, I think that was always my favourite in the movies. That, no matter how lost any of the companions seemed, they never gave up on each other."

"What I wouldn't give to go live in Rivendell for a few decades right now myself," Nathan murmured, then tried to focus on her. "Read? Can't promise I'll stay awake, though... I'm still so tired all the time."

"Think we'd all love ta live in the Last Homely House..." Jubilee replied, before snickering softly. "I could just imagine what they'd think of Mandy's music choices."

She pulled the comfy chair sitting beside Nate's bed closer and curled up into it, opening the book at the spot she'd left. "An it's okay if ya fall asleep, ya need it for the healin' right now. Now, let's see..."

Jubilee started to read, changing her voice for each part of the character dialogue as she did so.