xp_logs | LOG: Manuel and Alex - Friends Will Be Friends

Alex comes to cheer Manuel up about Amanda's return and the stresses in his life. Truths get old, and Tekken gets played. Badly. Backdated to before the Amanda/Manuel/Meggan encounter.

One would have to deaf to not hear the music blasting from Manuel's room...from the skateboarding ramps. First checking in on Lorna after dropping both his skateboard and his sweaty clothes, Alex wandered down to the source of the noise in just his suit and sweatpants. He knocked on the door then shouted, "Yo Dude!"

Manuel pressed PAUSE on his stereo, and then blearily stared at the door. Oh. Alex. That was OK. Just to be safe, he concentrated on the doorway, to lessen the alienation and loss and pain that he was using as a Busy, Please Come Back Later sign on his door. It should only trigger for Amanda, but he wasn't going to take any chances, and he was too tired and too scatterbrained to really be absolutely sure. "Come in! It's not locked." he said flatly.

Alex carefully opened the door and peeked inside before entering. "Hey man...came to check on you, since Amanda's back and all." He wandered into the room and stood by Manuel, hands in his pockets. "Wanted to see if you were alright but after the music volume, I'm guessing not..."

"Brilliant deduction." he said, and then sighed. "Sorry. I'm not doing well, as you probably guessed. Yes, she's back, but I don't want to see her. Not now. Not until my own head quiets down some." he admitted. "And I felt your little argument with Lorna." he said quietly. "Thanks for sticking up for me. That didn't feel good for you, but you did it anyway. That's turning out to be distressingly rare in my life."

Smiling slightly Alex gave a small shrug. "Hey man...what are friends for? I don't think you deserve her treatment of you...but also just want to help her get over it, ya know? I hate seeing people I care about in pain...and by the way, that include you..." He moved to sit in a nearby chair. "So...Wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, but I will anyway." he said tiredly. "It's been a year since I died at Rack's hands." he said, gesturing vaguely at his scarred right wrist. "Overloaded the dampener and shorted it while I was in the bath. I saved her, and she saved me." He added. "Died again, in a matter of speaking, at Her talons much later. I used to think she did me a favor, by killing the man that I was and letting me discover a new way. It seems the joke is ultimately on me."

Nodding slowly, Alex listened carefully, not have the advantage of being empathic. "I don't see any joke... you seem to like this new you, I'll admit, you are easier to live with." Smirking slightly, he meant it more as a tease. "But it must be hard without Amanda's support, or anyone's."

Manuel smiled bleakly. "Have I changed, really?" he asked rhetorically. "I mean, I've already given up most of what I was and there are days when I really fucking resent it. I lived better as a street-bum." he grumbled. "And you know what Lorna thinks. I have to wonder if she's right."

"She is not right." He made his voice as clam and collected as he could, putting as much supporting emotion behind it, in hope either way, Manuel would pick it up. "If anything, I think we've seen more of the real Manuel since then...before you were The son of the White King...now you've been able to make yourself your own person. I know people who would give their right arm for a chance like that..."

"They can have it." he said with a sigh. "I'm busting my ass over here just trying to be like everyone else. Making a royal fuck-up of it lately as well. I have my good days and my bad days. Another downside to being what I am - I feel _everything_
deeply. Your emotions, Lorna's emotions, and my emotions equally. So it's actually unusual for me to just feel mildly about something. I don't just kinda like something - I love it, I don't care, or I hate it."

Sighing, Alex hung his head. "I know you think I feel compelled to say this, but I honestly mean it. You haven't fucked up, it just...other people don't see the new you...they still see the old. And while yes your the same person...your also not and it's not fair what they are doing to you..."

Manuel smiled. "Thanks, man." he said with a glimmer of actual good cheer. "That helps a lot. I'm not ready to talk to her yet - she apparently dragged some creature back with her from wherever it was that she buggered off to, and she's calling it her child. I have to be sure I'm having a very good control day when I finally do see her, lest she feel exactly what a cosmic joke I think that is."

Sensing the cheer in his tone, Alex lifted his head and smiled. "Hey, take your time. She abandoned you at critical time...I say, take all the time you need before confronting her. And hey, if ya need cheering up afterwards...you now where to find me." He leaned back in the chair and sighed. "We do have the tendency to pick up strays everywhere we go don't we?"

"Fuck that. I have enough problem dealing with my _own_ life to take responsibility for somebody else!" he said with another small laugh. "I invite her into my mind. We're closer than anyone other pair here in the Mansion - I feel her, she feels me. But when I'm hurting, when I need her the most, she leaves me behind. Of course, it doesn't help that I was a giant ass to her..."

"Hey, dude, you had a good reason. And while I'd be a hypocrite if I said she shouldn't have run have, it's still the truth. If your as close as you say, she should have seen you needed her. It took us a while but Lorna and I finally figured that out...link or no." He shrugged slightly.

Manuel sighed, his semblance of a good mood ruined. "Maybe we're not as close as I thought." he admitted. "Maybe I've just been fooling myself, living a lie. I don't know, man, and there's nobody here who can teach me!"

"It's not something you can teach unfortunately. It's something you have to work out..." Alex shrugged again helplessly. "And I wouldn't say it was lie...even if you had feelings for her for a little while, it wasn't a lie. Just...maybe it's not reality anymore. If she's not willing to try as much as you are...yeah."

Manuel shrugged. "Not what I meant. If what I'm Seeing isn't what is actually going on, then I need to practice seeing the emotions, learning what's what. But if there's no one who can show me, then I'm just guessing, and it's not like I can just reach out and twist 'em however I want to, you know?"

Alex bit his lower lip for a moment. "Would it help if you had someone who would be willing to let you 'practice' on them?"

"Dude, the thought terrifies you. I appreciate the thought, but I could seriously screw you up." he said with a wave of his hand. "And I'd kill your relationship dead, and since you're one of the only people around here who will give me the time of day, I'm not willing to risk it."

"Yes it terrifies me now...but Christ, so did my own power till just recently. I know what it's like to feel helpless against you own mutation...it's what eventually sent me into Her hands...plus, all I have to go on is Lorna's experience. Wouldn't it feel good to prove her wrong?"

Manuel smiled. "You learn fast under that surfer-boy image." he said approvingly. "I have to admit, a part of me would _love_ to rub it in her face that she's just completely wrong about me. Unfortunately, I'm still not sold that she _is_ wrong about me." he added. "Would you like to feel what it is like?" he said softly.

Alex smirked. "It's the blonde hair and random 'dudes.' Throws people off all the time." Then he shrugged. "I do think she's wrong...maybe not about you then, but about you now." Then he nodded slowly. "Only if it will help...and I do want to help..."

Manuel nodded. "Just sit back and relax for a second." he said, and brought his power to bear. While nowhere near the intensity of what he had hit Lorna with all that long ago, he brought up Alex's confidence. In himself, in his power, in everything. He let it build slowly, much more slowly than with Lorna, and kept it
within normal human bounds for a few seconds before letting it go. "What you just felt was a _fraction_ of what I can do."

Closing his eyes, Alex felt the emotion build in him, like someone had flipped a light switch in him and suddenly, he felt silly wearing the stupid suit, for a few moments, he had the confidence enough not to need it. Then, it all dissipated back to normal and Alex opened his eyes, swallowing hard. "Wow..."

"And that was no more effort to me than walking across this room to close the door would be to you." he said. "I can't make it permanent - I think - but I can take it way, way beyond normal human limits. What I did to Lorna was like that, but joy, not confidence. She loved _everything_ for a short time. It was at botched attempt at a gift, and a means to get her to leave me alone."

Now with more understanding, Alex nodded slowly. "You were trying to use your gift to help someone who felt like she had lost everything...and because you have no one to help you, you botched it up. Frankly...I don't think you were any more at fault then when I hurt her when I blew up...in fact...I think she should have forgiven you before she forgave me. I'm sorry, man...and being able to feel that from her, all the time...I'm really sorry."

"I wish I could be that altruistic. I had no shields, and she was taking great delight in needling me about my upbringing, my lack of skill in the kitchen. " he explained. "So yes, part of it was me trying to give her a gift, and part of it just wanted her to get bent." he said sadly.

"Bent because I was gone...Why do I suddenly feel partly to blame?" He smiled gently then again shook his head. "You don't have to answer this but...being this new you, would you have made a different decision then?"

"If I knew then what I knew now? I like to think I'd have played it differently. See, I can shield now, and then I couldn't. I was trying to focus in on her to block everyone else out, and then she got me but good with her teasing." he said honestly. "So it's hard to say."

Alex nodded, more sincerely this time. "That's good enough. If you had given a straight forward yes, I would have been worried."

Manuel grinned at that. "One thing you'll learn about me - I don't lie if I can possibly avoid it. I'll duck, I'll maneuver, I'll reinterpret if I have to, but I do not lie."

Alex was glad to return the grin. "Man after my own heart. I honestly think its one of the things Lorna likes about me. If you try hard enough, anybody can get just about anything out of me." Then he paused a moment. "And you know...I'm still serious about that offer to help...I mean, your not going to get better unless someone does...Might as well be someone who trusts you..."

Manuel nodded. "I know, man. I can see it from here. And I appreciate it. If things ever cool down with Lorna, if things ever improve - we'll talk about it. I'm not much of one for training right now - I'm trying to put my life back together, get used to life with Amanda as she is now, and as I am now."

"Sounds fair enough for me. And if you need any help with that other stuff...even if you to rant, I'm there dude. I was in practically the same position a year ago." Standing up slowly, Alex stretched. "What say me and you go find some mindless entertainment?"

Manuel grinned. "You just want to kick my ass at Tekken again. I didn't grow up playing the bloody things, I think I can be forgiven for getting the buttons mixed up all the time."

"Dude! The only reason I know how to play is because Shiro insisted on teaching me. I didn't know how to even turn one of those things on when I got here! I'm more for outside entertainment." Alex laughed as he moved to the door. "I have the same strategy you do, push as many buttons as fast as possible."

Manuel grinned, and this time, he meant it. "Well, finally! I can beat somebody at something other than DDR!" he laughed.

Current Mood: calm

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

xp_daytripper

"Hey, take your time. She abandoned you at critical time...I say, take all the time you need before confronting her. And hey, if ya need cheering up afterwards...you now where to find me."

Easy to cricitise when you only know half the story, Alex... Funny thing about my girl - she doesn't take being threatened very well, even when someone's insane with grief.

From:

x-havok.livejournal.com

He was 'Manda's half the story, so since he feels guilty about running out on Lorna, he's going to help Manuel through it where he couldn't help Lorna. My boy runs on his guilt still, silly boy.