Log: Remy and Jake in the kitchen

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Summary: Remy finds Jake in the kitchen making a sandwich. I know, you´re shocked. They catch up and bicker.



Wheelchair scuffs, a slight amount of dust, and a poorly covered dish of leftovers. All sure signs that Lorna wasn't up at full mobility yet. Remy's mind provided the details as he wandered into the kitchen. By all rights, he should have gone to his office first, but the weariness of the last few weeks had finally caught up with him.

Wisdom. Not only had he betrayed everyone, but the damage to the mansion's resources was staggering. The sheer amount of work it would take to put things back together made Remy's head ache, and he was uncharacteristically trying to avoid it for the moment. As he turned the corner, he caught sight of the back of Jake, busily assembling some sort of massive sandwich. With a slight smile, Remy ghosted up behind him.

"Got dat five dollars, Jake?"

Jake spun around, holding the butter knife defencively in front of himself. "Oh, it´s you." He relaxed and sheepishly put the knife down. "Do you have to do that? And not on me, no."

"Oui. Besides, if I didn't, what would you have to complain 'bout?" Remy said reflectively, leaning against the counter as Jake returned to building the sandwich. "You gone through de rest of dat information yet?"

"Yup. All stacked and sorted. Got Cable to help me with some of the stuff I couldn´t make head or tails off." He waved a slice of cheese absently as he remembered something. "There´s a couple of files I want you to look at. There´s nothing particularly urgent, but there´s something going down in the biotech milieu in Germany I think we should keep an eye on." He put the slice onto the sandwich and looked around for the red paprika. "And when it comes to you? I´ll always find something to complain about. Trust me on that."

"See, now you just flirting." Remy said lightly, crossing his arms. "What 'bout de contact list? Dat's de first priority right now." Remy didn't bother to add the fact that it meant both of them were going to be running around focusing on that for the next few months at best.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but that´s boring." Especially after he´d read the damn things more times than he cared to remember, updating them as Remy sent him new information. He spotted the paprika hiding behind Remy. "Oh hey, there you are."

"Yeah, and a bullet in de brainpan is pretty damn exciting, but Remy willing to take boring instead." LeBeau shook his head. "You actually going to eat dat thing?"

"Yeah, of course." Jake gave him a blank look, then looked back at the sandwich. He slapped his head. "Oh! You´re right. I can´t believe I forgot the peperoni!"

"Jake, dat thing is bigger den you are. What are you going to do? Shift youself a larger mouth?" Remy pointed out, looking at the giant assemblige on the counter.

Jake snorted. "You just don´t appreciate the subtle skills involved in making a really good sandwich." He gave the sandwich a measuring look as he added the peperoni. "...Well, maybe some shifting will be involved. You want one too? I´m on a roll here."

"Non. Remy ate his own body weight for lunch." LeBeau quipped, reaching past him to pull a soda out of the fridge and snapping off the cap. He didn't have the energy to make coffee right now.

Shrugging, Jake picked up the plate, and walked over to sit down by the kitchen table. "Suit yourself. Did everything go okay in Austria, by the way?"

"Mostly. A few glitches, like de car full of gunmen." Remy said. "I think it was his way of saying he fancies me. Dropped in on 'manda on de way back."

"Yeah? She´s back here now." Jake was about to gesture with his sandwich, but realised in time what a bad idea that would be. "With a little shapeshifter girl. Who likes to lick people."

"Saw de post." Remy paused. "Well, not 'bout de licking thing, mind you. So, you now got a shapeshifter friend. Feeling jealous yet?"

"Sometimes I have no idea what you´re talking about. And come sit down before you fall down. I´m not sure, but I think sleeping in front of the fridge is frowned upon."

"Lorna gets mad if you mess up her kitchen." Remy dropped into a chair across from Jake, taking a long swallow of his soda. "And if dere's one thing dat Mama LeBeau's favourite son know, is don't even make a greenhaired femme angry."

"Pissing off the chef, no matter the haircolour, is usually not a good idea," Jake nodded. He happily attacked the sandwich again.

"Very true. You got any information back on de Magneto watch?" Remy said, abruptly switching gears. "I'm worried dat Wisdom's jump might cause us to lose track of Lensherr's network and little friends."

Jake swallowed. "Um. Bits and pieces. Need to work on that," he said apologetically. "See if I can get a proper in."

"I wonder if we could get someone inside." Remy mused. "Almost worth sending dat John homme back in wit' him, just to see what nutjob plan Magneto has dis time. I swear, he's about one rant away from being a stereotype."

"Very snappy dresser though," Jake pointed out. He paused. "Hey, there´s an idea."

"You going to track him through his pants?" Remy said, amused at the prospect of trying to sell Xavier on the idea of he and Jake needing unlimited funds to check all the top clothiers in Europe.

"Why not? Whatever works, right?" Jake shrugged, not seeing the humour of it.

"Got a point dere." Remy nodded. "And non, you cannot have access to petty cash to 'research' de idea." He was well aware of Jake's shopping habits, which were only dwarfed by his chocolate addictions.

"...But it could be vital to the cause!" Jake tried. He put down the sandwich in an attempt to look earnest.

"Didn't you just buy three new suits?" Remy pointed out, considering that the women of the mansion as one loved to bring Jake along on their shopping excursions.

"How did you know about that?" Jake blinked in surprise. As a woman he´d hated going shopping, but as a man, he liked it just fine. "And there is no such thing as too many suits. Besides, I bet suits get ruined like that in the field," he added with a glare.

"Dat's right, which is why Remy wears de serviceable trenchcoat all de time." LeBeau nodded. "Besides, if you want to expense suits, you can order dem from de same place dat Cain does. JC Penny, I think it is." He said, earning a look of horror from Jake.

"Begone, foul fiend!" He held his index fingers up in a cross to ward off the evil of chain stores. "I know I´m entering the world of the super secret spies, but I refuse to become like you and Wisdom, who have only one outfit each."

"Got more den one outfit. Dey just all look de same is all." Remy said, a touch petulently. "'sides, bullet holes do tend to ruin de line of a good suit, Remy think."

Jake stared at him. "I can´t believe I´m working for you."

"Tends to boggle de mind a bit, doesn't it." Remy grinned. Despite the almost constent bickering between them (and more than one member of the school had taken to comparing them to an old married couple), they did work well together. Jake's expertise in espionage matched with Remy's vast operational skills in a frighteningly effective combination.

Turning back to what was left of his sandwich, face set in an expression of mock-sadness, Jake said, "Here I´m tempted on board with a promise of travelling all over the world, seeing interesting places, meeting interesting people, but what does it turn out I have to do? Ruin my suits and work as a secretary. My father must be so ashamed."

"If it helps, we're taking a little trip at de end of de month. I hope you like Turkish food." Remy said. "Running down some old connections in Istanbul, and if we can coax some names out of dat Haroun, hopefully put together a decent network. I think dat Lensherr is moving money and equipment through there and Cairo."

Jake brightened. "Good. I can look in on Sek, then." At Remy´s inquisitive look, "Daughter of Anwar Anubar. Elysium. Weird weapons."

"Dat's a new one on me." Remy leaned forward, suddenly interested. "Details?"

"On Elysium?"

"Oui." The name was familiar somehow, but Remy couldn't put his finger on it.

"They operate out of Cairo, more or less. They use ancient technology, from the Pharaoes, the Chinese, what have you, and mixed it in with modern technology. Bizarre results, but surprisingly efficient. There are some mutant mercenaries who swear to their gear," Jake said. Elysium interested him, so he had a lot of info on hand. "I´m sure you´ve run into them at some point."

"Might have. De Agency didn't use me for arms work much." Remy said, digesting the information. Could be a good place to follow up on, especially since they'd have contacts. "How close is your relationship wit' dis femme?"

"Pretty close. We went to school together." Jake sat up, eyes widening slightly. And Remy really, really didn´t need to meet her. "Kinda shy though."

"Hmm... she likely to do a little favour for us, intelligence wise?" Having an in on the international arms market would be a nice bonus, especially with Asian and African links.
Jake thought about it, nodding slowly. Yeah, he could probably talk her into that. She liked him, after all. Mostly. When he didn´t disturb her work with some odd little ancient artifact. "Probably. What did you have in mind? And we might have to return that favour."

"Let me put together some information and develop some stuff." Remy didn't have a specific goal in mind yet, but any source was something he was ready to horde jealously.

"Sure. Want to come have a look on the files now?" Jake offered, since he was finished with the sandwich. He tilted his head. "...Or go have a nap?"

"Files first. Time to sleep when I'm dead. Oh, and I found de voodoo doll. Get my hair right next time." Remy climbed to his feet and headed for the door.

Jake followed him. "Oh come on! That was a great likeness! Alison said it looks just like you."

"Yeah, right. Just make sure you take de pins out of de groin if you want to keep it in the office." Remy said as they left.

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He gave the sandwich a measuring look as he added the peperoni. "...Well, maybe some shifting will be involved. You want one too? I'm on a roll here."

I've obviously been up way too long when I read that as a pun.