Shiro & Nathan, Friday evening

[x-sanfuaiyaa.livejournal.com]

After a few days of trying to ignore his not-so friendly stalker, Shiro abandons his theory of a haunted dorm room and goes to find Nate and tell him to quit it already. It's an interesting conversation, to say the least. They clear some things up, but still dislike and mistrust each other.


Shiro was getting tired of his ghost-stalker. Wherever he went, things would fall down or get thrown across the room. Thankfully nothing fragile fell, but it was a pain whenever his bureau drawers would open and spill his clothes all over the floor. Angrily stuffing his t-shirts back in, Shiro stalked over to his computer and logged into his journal. Maybe Forge was right, and it wasn't a supernatural curse. Could the culprit be one of the telekinetics? He couldn't imagine it being Jean, because she liked him, at least he thought. Dayspring on the other hand . . . Swearing under his breath, Shiro angrily stalked out of his room and headed for Dayspring's. It was time for a little chat.

Nathan was typing up an email to one of his geography students who had expressed an interest in doing an independent study project over the summer when a very aggravated-sounding knock came at the door. He looked up from the computer screen, his eyes narrowed as he sensed who was on the other side. #Come in, Shiro,# he sent, backing the wheelchair away from the desk and turning so that he would be facing the door when Shiro came in.

Get out of my head! was Shiro's first reaction, but he suppressed the thought as he opened the door. Putting on his best neutral face, he entered the room and closed the door behind him, but didn't walk in much farther. "I have been having this problem lately, and I thought that maybe you could be of assistance."

"Oh?" Nathan asked, his expression calm, inquisitive. "Odd. Here I would have thought I would be last on the list of people you came to for assistance."

"As would I," Shiro said, sounding surprised. "But you may be the only one qualified to offer such help. You see, I have been plagued this week by an invisible pursuer, who is intent on making my life hellish. He messes everything up, and I lack the time to clean. How would you deal with such a stalker?"

"Hmmm." He managed to keep the note of amusement well out of his voice as he went. "Well, to be honest? I would probably knock on the door of the telekinetic doing it and indirectly ask him if he was responsible for tormenting me all week. It's not a bad strategy, really."

Shiro raised an eyebrow. He really had thought that it was a supernatural visitor, as it was the most logical explanation given what went on at Xavier's. But Nate's arrogant response threw that assumption straight out the window. "So what was the point, besides being immature and aggravating?" he asked sharply.

"I wanted to see what you did." Shiro's thoughts darted out at him like tiny arrows, and Nathan merely smiled. Let the kid think he was arrogant if he wanted. It took arrogance to recognize arrogance, in any case. "I sort of assumed you'd realize it was me sooner."

"I was hoping that you would get bored of acting like a child and leave me alone," Shiro responded. "Making a mess of my room and bothering students in the library just to observe my reaction? What are you, five?"

Nathan snorted. "Shiro, either you thought it was a supernatural visitor, or you thought it was me. Which was it?"

"At first I thought it was a ghost or a curse or something of the sort," Shiro admitted, trying to save face. Presenting himself as paranoid about a poltergeist, not to mention stupid enough to not realize that it was something more mundane, would not help his case. "By not paying attention to it, maybe it would wear out. But its absolute persistence in making me miserable screamed Nathan Dayspring."

"Uh-huh." Nathan gazed at him. "Apart from that rather unfortunate incident on Muir, Shiro, precisely how have I made your life miserable? I seem to recall helping to save it back in August." His expression sharpened. "Not to mention half-killed myself catching the jet when your explosion just about knocked us out of the sky. Yet I gather none of that means anything, given that I had the absolute temerity to question your judgment at New Year's."

"You are ignoring the point," Shiro insisted, knowing that what Nathan was saying was right and that he could not dispute him. "Do you get a happy by being bothersome?"

"Yes, absolutely. But that's not the only point here." Nathan went on, watching him calmly. "You didn't come storming in here. You demonstrated that you have a little delicacy, or should we call it discretion, even if part of you was still half-convinced that you were being haunted. You reacted less like the arrogant little shit I'm still half-convinced you are. So... I find myself reassessing you." He kept eye contact with Shiro. "Which is a desirable thing, Shiro, because if you successfully complete training you and I are liable to be spending time in the field together. And the idea that you are on the upward trend in terms of discipline and good judgment is a reassuring one."

Was that supposed to placate Shiro? "So you took it upon yourself to test me? I hardly believe than any of the team leaders would approve of such tactics, especially since they affect others who are not involved. What you did is something my sister would do if she threw a temper tantrum. There are other ways to get my attention than by making a mess like a spoiled little child."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Shiro," he asked, real - and totally unmalicious - amusement in his voice. "Are you under the impression that all three team leaders, plus the Professor, didn't jump to the right conclusion about your ghost from the moment you posted about it?"

He had a point, damn him. Not that Shiro would concede it, of course. "For all I know, you ignored an order to cease and desist once they discovered what you were up to."

"The only order I got was to fill Scott in on precisely how you reacted when you finally came to me," Nathan said patiently. "I believe the words 'This is at least a more productive reaction than the hissing and complaining I was expecting, Nathan' may have been said." He leaned back into the wheelchair, shaking his head. "You've avoided me as completely as you can, and think dirty thoughts at me every time we pass each other in the halls, since New Year's. Now, you've called me a child several times so far in this conversation, and in a lot of ways, you're right - there were other ways to bring about this conversation, but none of them were as amusing."

Shiro, to his credit, didn't try to interrupt, and Nathan went on calmly. "I didn't 'hiss and complain' when I found out you were going to be a trainee, although I was tempted. I decided that you were as much deserving of a chance as any of the rest of us had been, and you didn't need me trashing you from the get-go. Madman that I am," he said, emphasizing the very word Shiro had used in that conversation back on Muir, "I'm capable of separating my feelings about a person from my treatment of them."

"Since when is it your place to test me?" Shiro demanded, keeping his voice level despite his outrage. "I would not have been permitted to become a trainee had Mr. Summers and Professor Xavier himself not approved. What gives you the right to treat me like this? Did you do anything of the sort to Jubilee when she was accepted? Her discipline is questionable, given her responsibility for that demon at Halloween and her loss of control in that fight with Amanda earlier. And what of Doug? He displayed a great degree of idiocy at the blood drive. I am not convinced that you did this as part of a trainee-hazing ritual of sorts."

"You will be tested," Nathan murmured, "every moment. By every member of the team, by every single one of your fellow trainees. Every time you sit down to do a tactical review, every time you walk into the Danger Room, every time you walk onto a sparring mat. One big test, a thousand and one little tests, however you want to regard it, it won't end, Shiro. It won't even end when you get your leathers. In fact, all that happens then is that the stakes get higher."

He smiled, mirthlessly. "You don't have to like it, but you do have to accept it, if you're going to succeed at this. As for why it was my place..." He shrugged, almost diffidently. "Scott and Charles approved you for training. If you're going to be on the team, you need to be able to work with all of us. Especially those of us who may be passing on telepathic orders and need to be able to trust you to actually take them this time. This was a fast, if somewhat nasty way to get you here and talking. Plus, it was good TK practice."

Shiro refrained from rolling his eyes at the doom-and-gloom X-Men lecture. He should have expected it, he realized, just as he really should have expected this entire episode. "Do you honestly think that I am entirely unaware that I have to work in sync with every other X-Man? That was a major theme in my conversations with Alison, Mr. al Rashid, Mr. Summers, and Professor Xavier. I damn well know that I have to cooperate with you, and I will not dispute that. However, that does not make this appropriate. All this does is reinforce my opinion of you as an arrogant ex-mercenary with no connection to anything that does not originate from the British Isles."

Nathan gave him something that could have passed for a smile. "Oh, and I guess this is where you tell me that you weren't delighted when you realized that my broken back meant that I wasn't liable to have anything to do with your training for the next couple of months."

"To be entirely truthful, I did not give you any thoughts in the first place," Shiro said coldly. "You only entered the equation during the preliminary hearings. Since I was accepted, I have been focusing on the readings and paperwork I have been assigned. Interaction with you never crossed my mind."

"'Heaven help me if I'm ever forced to work under Dayspring'," Nathan quoted. "What, you think my mind stayed in one place just because I was strapped to a bed for the better part of a month?" He leaned back in the wheelchair, shrugging with his good shoulder. "I'm an eavesdropping, petty old bastard, Shiro, I don't deny that."

"~Finally, the truth,~" Shiro muttered in Japanese, although he knew that Nathan would understand what he said. "If you were following that particular conversation, you would know that I then asked Mr. al Rashid what he does when he finds his orders to be stupid. He told me that he follows them anyway because that is his duty, and I replied that I would have to learn to do that as well."

"And that's the right answer. It's also the canned answer. What do you think makes people disobey orders, Shiro?" Nathan looked up at him, slipping back into the near-conversational tone he'd always used with candidates or junior operatives at Mistra. "Most people guess fear, first of all. Someone panics and runs from a situation, that sort of thing. Sometimes that is the case, but not always. In more cases, it's pride." Nathan waved a hand. "A person can say all they want that they will take orders they disagree with, but too often, deep down, they don't really believe that the order is worth following. That their judgment is better. Even if they don't give into that resistance, it still causes hesitation. And hesitation gets you killed."

He paused for a moment, thoughtfully, then changed tacks. "You might be under the impression that I'm a lunatic with no useful skills other than blowing things up, Shiro, but the fact remains that I've been involved in operations for longer than you've been alive. I have more experience with small-unit tactics than anyone here, especially small units comprised of mutants, yet I take orders from Scott, Ororo, Alison and their XOs without hesitation. Pride doesn't come into it. I trust all six of them implicitly." He smiled faintly. "Helps that I like them as people, but that's just icing on the cake."

I have never pretended to be anything but proud," Shiro explained. "I was quite clear that I did not agree with the orders on Muir. I have identified my error and will endeavor to fix it so that history does not repeat itself." Shiro looked intently at Nate. "I know that you are a seasoned veteran. I do not doubt your experience. That does not mean that I like you, and that does not mean that next time I receive orders from you that I will disregard them out of pride."

"I haven't earned your liking," Nathan said, "and to be honest, I just don't have the energy to try to change that right now. I'm a little more concerned with learning how to walk again." He regarded Shiro levelly. "But I will be back in those leathers within another couple of months, and you'll have the opportunity to back up your words with actions. I'll take them for what they're worth, now, for the simple reason that you have just proved that you can restrain yourself, at least in a conversation. It's a start."

He backed the wheelchair up a little, unable to bite back a wince as his burned shoulder protested a too-sharp movement. "I haven't earned your liking," he repeated, "but if I haven't earned your respect, Shiro, I'd hate to see what it takes for someone to get that. Unless, of course, a person worthy of your respect is a person who indulges you even when you're wrong."

Shiro snorted, putting his hand on the doorknob, and feeling just a little smug at Nathan's pain. Just a little. "I respect Alison, and she is by no means one who will indulge anyone who is in the wrong. I just do not respect you because I do not see any of the good traits that Sefton or Doctor MacTaggart do. I see a jerk, which is pretty much what you see of me as well. So we are even, I think."

"I see a boy who never wants to fall out of the sky again when I look at you," Nathan said cryptically. "It's an improvement. Eventually, I hope, the rest of you will catch up to him." He managed to turn the wheelchair. "You can go now, Shiro," he said, dismissing the young man. "Don't worry about the poltergeist. I've seen everything I need to see. For now."

"I have your permission? What an honor," Shiro said, he acid dripping from his voice. Without a further word, he left Nathan's room and went in search of Alex. A good ranting was called for, and Alex would be the lucky one to be at the receiving end.