Madelyn, Jubilee - Sunday night

[x-madelyn.livejournal.com]

Following this conversation with Kurt Jubilee drops by and manages to pull Madelyn out of the guilts, at least a little.



Jubilee tromped down the stairs, whistling softly to herself. It was a good day today. She'd finished all the assigned reading she had been given by Scott and she'd managed to get all her homework out of the way for today at least.

Time for a visit with Madelyn, she'd decided. She'd been keeping Hank company for most of his and she saw absolutely no reason not to keep Madelyn company on hers.

"Mads? You around?" Jubilee called softly, knocking on the office to her door.

"Coming!" came a rather muffled reply from the bathroom opposite Madelyn's office, and the redhaired doctor appeared, looking a little red around the eyes. "Oh, hi firecracker. I didn't expect to see anyone else around. You burning the midnight oil again?" she asked, attempting to keep her tone breezy and chatty, but not quite managing it.

"Sorta. Knew you were on night duty an thought I'd come down an keep you company. Been hangin' out with Big Blue while he was doin' his." Jubilee replied, noting Madelyn's tone but carefully ignoring it.

Whatever was bothering her, she didn't seem ready to talk about it, or she wouldn't have been trying so hard to hide it. Jubilee would wait it out, give her time. Madelyn was an adult, afterall. She didn't need Jubilee butting her nose in if she didn't want it.

"Come on in - I was just going to make myself some hot chocolate, did you want some?" Madelyn wasn't deliberately blocking Jubilee out, but she already felt like a prize shit. She didn't really want any one else to confirm it. Although the mention of Hank's nickname did bring a small smile to her face. "It''s always good to have company - it's easy to start getting isolated and strange down here, y'know?"

"Yeah, know exactly what you mean. Got kinda isolated an strange myself doin' the study thing. S'why I started hangin' with Hank down here. An chocolate would be great!" Jubilee replied with enthusiasm.

Hmm, no bites then. Obviously not in the mood to share whatever it was that was bothering her. Jubilee kept her face carefully cheerful but inside she was trying to decide whether she should butt in or not. She'd never known Madelyn to...be so inward before.

"You got on well with Hank, while I was away?" Madelyn asked, busying herself making the chocolate while Jubilee slouched bonelessly on the infamous Couch of Sleep. "I'm glad someone was keeping an eye on him - he tends to be like the rest of us down here in the dungeon, forgetting to sleep and eat and all the rest of it."

"Yeah, we did. He's been helpin' me with the X-men readin'. An, did he tell you about the nifty thing we discovered with my power? I'm like, sugar powered or somethin'." Jubilee replied, leaning her head back on the couch.

The ceiling was white here, not as interesting as Nate's had been.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Madelyn said with a slightly more realistic chuckle. She brought the chocolate over, and, surprisingly, sat next to Jubilee on the couch after handing one mug to the girl. "So I'm recharging you when you share my donuts?"

"Yup. Best thing I ever heard about this power of mine. Gives me an official reason to scoff down the donuts. Although, he also told me that I'll probably always be accosted by someone's grandma to eat more, cause of the whole energy use thing." Jubilee replied, adjusting herself slightly so her head was lying on Madelyn's shoulder.

She'd missed her while she was away but hadn't really known how to express it when they'd had dinner. She just wasn't the type to break into flowery statements. Not when it was real, anyhow. She'd never had any problem with the flowery when it was all fake.

The gesture startled and touched Madelyn - she rested her cheek against the shiny black head resting on her shoulder, closing her eyes briefly. "I'm glad you came down, firecracker," she said at last. "I needed the company. I had to do something tonight I really hated doing."

"Yeah?" Jubilee asked, not pushing, just offering an ear if it was wanted.

She closed her eyes, reaching behind her for one of Madelyn's hands, pulling it up to rest on her shoulder. It was easier to hold her hand that way.

"I don't know if I mentioned it, but the last time I dated was about five years ago. It didn't end well, and I pretty much swore off men after that." Madelyn said the words slowly, almost as if she was talking to herself, but she gripped the hand Jubilee gave her tightly. "Threw myself into my work, and then eventually it got to the point where I didn't think about it any more. It helped when I started at the Bureau, and I had to struggle to prove I was just as good as the male recruits." She smiled wryly. "And then I came here, and there were happy couples all around, and I started thinking again about all the stuff my mother harps on about. Marriage, children, being happy..." With a sigh, she got to the point. "I didn't expect to have two very sweet men fall for me, and to have to choose between them."

Jubilee squeezed Madelyn's hand. "Hank and Kurt, right?"

Madelyn made a face. "That obvious, was it?" she asked, feeling even worse. Perhaps if she hadn't been so clueless, she might have been able to head off Kurt's growing feelings for her before they had gotten to the point they had. Less pain all 'round. "Everyone must have thought I was being a dreadful tease, to let them dangle like that. But I really didn't know - it's been so long..." She cut herself off, hating the whine entering her voice, and took a breath. "I don't like hurting people."

"Dude, not obvious. But, Kurt's my gymnastics teacher an Hank an I've been hangin' out for awhile now. I may not always win the gold medal in the social olympics but I can spot people tryin' ta hide things. Any time I mentioned you, there'd be this look they'd get. Don't think anyone would've noticed it, probably not even me except I'm used ta followin' peoples faces rather then what they're sayin'." Jubilee replied, giving Madelyn's hand another squeeze.

She didn't want Mads feeling guilty about this, or thinking that people had thought her a tease. And honestly, in Jubilee's opinion it was up to Hank and Kurt to sort things out if they had issues, it wasn't up to Mads.

She knew she was probably being a bit growly but she would not let Mads blame herself like this.

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one who noticed - I just figured people were being silly, teasing me. I wish I had noticed earlier, maybe it would have meant not breaking Kurt's heart like I did tonight." Madelyn sighed. It really had been like torturing a puppy, telling Kurt she didn't love him.

"An are ya gonna be lettin' Hank down easily too?" Jubilee asked softly.

She wouldn't make an assumption that Mads had chosen Hank over Kurt. She might not want either of them, and if that was the case, Jubilee would make sure she was here for Mads after the fact.
"I..." Madelyn hesitated, and then made herself go on. "I don't think so, no." There, it was out, and that faint pink blush tinged her cheeks. It had taken facing Kurt for her to realise it.

Jubilee grinned, she couldn't help it before letting her face smooth into calm lines again. She turned around and put her arms around Madelyn, giving her a hug. The time with Hank had taught her that much, at least. That there was nothing better then a good hug from someone you cared about. "Kurt'll be okay, an you and Hank'll work things out in your own time. Just don't go tying yourself in knots over it all, okay?"

Madelyn allowed herself a brief chuckle. Jubilee was right, of course, just as Alison had been. And it wasn't like she'd _tried_ to hurt Kurt - the contrary, even. She'd be there for him, but not the way he wanted her to be. And there _was_ Hank. She smiled a little at the thought. "You're being all reasonable at me, firecracker. Is that allowed?"

"Hmm. Probably only in small doses, otherwise people might start countin' on me or somethin'. Then the universe would end in shock." Jubilee replied, amused.

Okay, so that hadn't actually come out sounding like she'd wanted it to. She'd meant to go for humorous and flippant and had ended up sounding bitter and petualant. Gah, not the time to be dumping her 'poor mes' on someone. Especially because she felt rather stupid having a 'poor me' moment.

Madelyn caught the undertone, and slipped her hand from Jubilee's, opting to squeeze her shoulders. "I don't think so, actually. You've got quite the sensible head on your shoulders, kiddo." She reached for her chocolate, and took a sip. "Want to talk about it?"

Jubilee leaned back against the couch, pulling her legs up against her chest and wrapping her arms about them. "It ain't anything concrete, ya know? Not like people have been goin' out of their way to tell me or somethin'. Just, sometimes get the feelin' people don't think I get the whole serious thing. It's just...I never understood how being all depressed and solumn made anything any better. S'sort like trying to get dirt out of your clothes by rolling in the mud, ain't it?" Jubilee replied, trying to keep the frustration out of her voice.

"Different people deal with things in different ways, kiddo," Madelyn said gently. "For some people, it's easier to have a wallow in the mud, get themselves thoroughly dirty, before they feel ready to make the attempt to get clean. Almost like making sure things are as bad as they'll get before they try and pull themselves out of it." Jubilee's curled-up position was harder to hug, but Madelyn persisted any way. "There's as many different ways of coping - and not coping - with things as there are people. But being the compartmentalising, labelling organisms we are, we try and tell ourselves that one coping mechanism fits all, and that our way must be the right one. It doesn't mean you're not being reasonable, or that you're stupid because you do one thing, and someone else does another."

"It's just frustratin' and I'm so worried about her and...damn."

Jubilee hadn't been meaning to mention Paige. She'd just wanted to get a little of the worry and stress out without mentioning names. But, Paige didn't talk, and didn't seem to want to deal with anything other then study and her schedule. Jubilee had tried everything she could think of without being extremely obvious but it all seemed to just wash over her roommate.

She was worried that Paige was going to burn out, or crack or simply disappear and she wasn't sure what to do.

"It's all right, Jubilee. Tell me if you want to." Madelyn was happy to focus on something else for now, to give her emotions a break - it was going to be a rollercoaster sort of evening for her. "It's Paige, right?"

"Yeah. Although I was kinda tryin' not ta blab. Don't know if she'd take to well about people bein' too butinski right now an she's...I don't, Mads. Feel like maybe I'm bein' paranoid but we were gettin' a little closer there for awhile. Bein' proper roommates rather then just people who sleep in the same room. Then boom, she's different. Like, if I ask her, she's cool to do stuff but she's quiet more now an she doesn't do stuff she used to. An, I miss it, an I miss her an that sounds so weird cause she's still right there. I'm just worried, ya know?" Jubilee replied, blurting it out in a quick tumble of words.

Madelyn sighed a little. Paige's increasing isolation, the blatant denial when _everyone_ could see she wasn't coping... it _was_ worrying. And everyone who tried to reach out was more than pushed away - they were locked out, permanently. "It's not you, Jubilee," she said at last. "Paige... she's having a lot of problems now. Jono's situation, mostly. And she won't let herself admit that she isn't coping, because for Paige, all she has is herself to rely on." She set down the mug, wrapped her other arm around Jubilee. "I wish I could tell you what to do to help her, but she's so determined to say nothing's wrong... You're not the only one who has noticed, I can at least tell you that. The teachers know, and we're trying to help, where we can."

Jubilee nodded, uncurling slightly now she knew other people had been noticing. "Thanks, Mads. That makes me feel better, knowin' people are tryin' ta help her."

Madelyn didn't say she wasn't sure how effective that help was, instead giving Jubilee another hug before reaching for the chocolate again. ""We are, hon. Always."