This Love, This Hate

[x-traitor.livejournal.com]

Disclaimer: The following logs contain offensive language, violence, and graphic depictions of a hate crime. Be advised that the evil perpetrated in these scenes is entirely different from the generic "evil" that the X-Men face, and may be found offensive to some.

After Jay’s performance, Tommy goes to have a chat with the singer. Things don’t go well…not at all.

Jay's heart was beating fast, pumping more adrenaline through his body than he'd felt in months. "'And I have no choice, 'cuz I won't say goodbye anymore,'" Jay sang as his audience applauded madly. He was on such a trip, the feelings of adoration and delight almost palpable despite his lack of psionic powers. Finishing the song, he stood up and took a bow. "Thank you." This ended up being a lot better than Monday's gig was, he thought as he put his guitar back in its case and stepped down from the small platform he'd used as a stage. That show was good, sure, but the audience hadn't been nearly as receptive. But tonight's crowd? Jay was half-convinced that they were so into him that he could've sung Britney Spears without losing any veneration. Waving to Forge as he made his way through the crowd, he indicated that he was going to grab a drink. Hopping up on the barstool, he just ordered some water, and downed half the glass in one gulp. Christ, how he'd missed performing.

Tommy felt dirty, surrounded by so many mutants and mutant lovers. It wasn’t hard to track the mutie singer’s progress through the crowd to the bar. Turning, he schooled his expression so he didn’t flinch when he kissed Terry deeply for a moment, for for all he knew, she was mutant too. It was a thought he was trying not to think about for his sanity’s sake. "I'm going to go get something to drink..." Terry smiled after returning the kiss and returned to her conversation, engrossed in talking to some Helix people so Tommy moved out into the crowd. He sided up to the bar and ordered a Sprite, before glancing sideways at the winged mutant. An almost feral grin crossed his face. "Nice show tonight..."

"Huh? Oh, thanks," Jay replied. He briefly glanced at the guy, and couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. He was gorgeous. Ruffled dark blond hair, hazel eyes, and an obviously hard and toned body underneath his clothes. Calling him Adonis wouldn't stretch the truth at all. This fellow carried himself with confidence and a touch of arrogance. He knew what he was and had no shame at advertising it. And the way he was grinning . . . Jay's only response to the entire package was GUH.

Finishing his water, Jay decided to take the chance. Couldn't hurt, right? If the guy wasn't interested, then no harm done. And if he was, well, Kev himself had told Jay to move on with his life, and a new hook-up (he didn't think he was ready for an actual boyfriend yet) would do well. "Ah'm Jay," he said with a smile, holding out his hand, and taking care to keep his accent to a minimum. Keep it sounding cute and not hillbilly.

Tommy's grin perked even more as he realized the boy was flirting. Terry had mentioned that Jay's tastes were more toward the male sex and Tommy was feeling quite bitter at the fact he was going to have to break up with Terry later, not to mention all the time he’d spent that night in proximity to these monsters. Leading a freak on and then crushing his hopes would at least let him have some fun tonight. Still smiling, he took the offered hand, gripping it tightly in feigned interest. "Tommy."

Firm grip, soft skin . . . Jay couldn't help but smile wolfishly as he let his hand linger on Tommy's before taking it back. He leaned forward a bit, gazing into Tommy's eyes as he spoke. "Nice ta meet you, Tommy. You from around here?"

Noticing the lingering touch, Tommy scooted closer, approaching this as he would a girl. The boy was thin with long red hair, so it wasn't that hard to imagine. Sure he was good looking, but any thoughts along those lines were dashed at the mere sight of the freakish red wings. "I live in the city, nothing fancy."

"Well, Ah'm from Kentucky, so everything here is nice to me," Jay offered lamely. He was out of practice he was with the whole flirting thing. His friends back home would be disappointed. But the high from the night hadn't yet worn off, and it offered him the confidence he needed. He hooked his leg around the leg of Tommy's stool, his foot brushing up against Tommy's leg. "Ya come around here much?"

Tommy shrugged as casually as he could, allowing his natural arrogance to hide any unease. He fought very hard not to strike out at the foot caressing his leg, his skin itching wherever the freak touched him. "Not really, I just heard there was a great new artist playing today and I came to check him out..." He wiggled his eyebrows to give the impression that he didn't just come to check out the music. He reached over and put a hand on Jay's shoulder, again schooling away the flinch and gripping a little harder then necessary so as not let go on reflex. "Is there someplace maybe we could go and talk?" Tommy had to get out of the room before Terry saw him.

At least Tommy was compensating. "Well, Ah can tell you for sure that he likes being checked out," Jay said, briefly leering at Tommy. "It's kinda stuffy in here, don't'cha think?" he asked, tugging at the collar of his t-shirt, making visible the curves of his collar bones and the hollow between his pecs. "Nice night outside, though."

"Well, aren't I lucky then...Lead the way, Jay." Returning the leer, Tommy had to try so hard not to burst out laughing at the creature’s trust and exhibitionism. This was almost too easy.

Jay handed his guitar to the bartender behind the counter, who agreed to look after it while Jay was indisposed. Ignoring the bartender's knowing grin, Jay led Tommy out of the club through the backdoor and into the warm but breezy night. He could feel his heart pounding with crazy intensity, and had to tell himself that punching himself in the chest wouldn't stop it. The two walked closely to each other, arms occasionally brushing each other, although Jay kept his hands to himself. Plenty of time for that later, he thought as lustful grin widened.

There was an alley next to the club, and Jay led Tommy in there. It was lit well enough so they could see each other, but interlopers would have to enter in order to make out who was in there. Leaning against the brick wall, Jay stuffed his hands into his pockets, surreptitiously pulling his jeans down enough so the waist band of his briefs was visible. Offering Tommy his most inviting smile, he waited for the other to make his move.

Tommy had only meant to get mutie out of the club so he could 'beat some sense' into him. But this boy was so trusting, Tommy couldn't believe his luck. Figuring to add to the boy's disappointment, he leaned his hands on the wall on either side of Jay's head and leaned in close. The wall crumbled slightly under his hands, adding to the cheap atmosphere of the alley, which with how receptive the freak was to his false advances, was quite appropriate. "Stop me if I'm being too forward..." At least he could blame his flinching now on the smells around them and trash scattered around their feet, not to mention that which he had trapped against the wall.

"As a singer and a poet, Ah know when words have their places. Now? Not really one of them." He took a hand out of his pocket and put it on Tommy's side, and could feel his musculature beneath his shirt. He'd hit the jackpot, that was for sure. Closing his eyes, he leaned forward to kiss Tommy.

In retrospect, he'd blame this awful decision on the high that performing for the public gave him.

In his mind, Tommy had started out thinking he was kissing Terry, the slight build and red hair helping. But as the kiss got more than sweet, it was plain Tommy was enjoying kissing a guy way much more than he was comfortable with. Snarling softly at the homosexual feelings Jay was evoking in him, Tommy shoved him hard into the wall, watching his head bounce satisfactorily off the brick. He held Jay by the shoulders, the feral grin returning but this time the malicious intent was plain in his eyes. "Filthy mutant faggot..." Raising a fist, he pulled back and punched Jay hard. With a satisfying crack, he felt the other’s face give way under his fist and when he pulled it back, the blood that dripped from his fingers matched that running from the monster’s nose.

There was a dull thud sound as Jay's head slammed against the wall behind him. It had him seeing stars, and before he could react, the punch threw him to the ground. "What the fuck?" he said weakly, looking up at his attacker. His healing factor was already activated, closing up the cuts on his lips and abating the likelihood of developing a concussion. Getting back to his feet was painful, and Jay had to fight a wave of nausea that threatened to throw him down on his knees and empty the contents of his stomach onto Tommy's Etnies.

He should've just stayed on the ground.

It took an easy sweep of his foot to get the dirty mutant back on the ground and a well placed kick to the stomach made sure of that. Squatting down over Jay, Tommy picked the boy up by his shirt. "You disgusting freak. Because of you and your stupid kind’s very existence, I'm going to have to break up with the best girl I've ever met." Not to mention the confusing feelings the boy had provoked when they had kissed. Oh he would pay for that above all. "You're just a disgusting creature, who's not even fit to share this earth with proper humans..." He dropped Jay hard with a loud thunk and punched at his face and shoulders before standing and kicking him a few times for good measure. The more he abused the winged creature, the more his blood got to pumping and his grin grew with his adrenaline levels.

Jay barely even registered what Tommy was saying. Why was this happening? What had he done wrong? Why was the guy who was kissing him passionately not five minutes ago now beating the life out of him? Each blow to his gut and face sent racks of searing pain throughout his body. It felt like his organs were going to burst. And his healing factor made it all the worse. A normal person would have passed out by now, and his attacker would have just left him alone rather than beat an unresponsive lump. But Jay's body was healing almost as fast as Tommy could batter him, so he remained conscious through every single attack.

"Please stop," Jay whimpered, wrapping his wings around himself and trying to curl up into a ball and hide. All of a sudden, he found himself back in Kentucky, lying in a heap in the clearing by the lake. Kev stood a few feet away, trying to struggle out of his father's grip as his older brother proceeded to kick Jay senseless. He could hear Kev's screaming, could hear the maniacal laughs of the Cabots, could feel himself choking on his own breath. "Stop stop stop stop stop stop . . ."

Jay's feeble screams only spurred him on, Tommy taking out his every frustration on the boy in front of him, a harsh laughter now erupting from his throat. It wasn’t everyday he got his own personal mutie punching bag to play with. He was upset, he was exhilarated, he was having FUN. Terry had been the best thing that had ever happened to him and because she was a mutant-lover, there was no way anything could happen now. And he was still trying to forget the kiss... “You fucking queer, thinking you can take whatever you want! You fucking mutie, thinking you can rule over us…” Growling, Tommy finally stood up and spit on him, blood staining both his sneakers and hands. "Fucking flaming faggot. I hope you and all your kinds, homo and mutant, burn in hell."

Despite the high pain tolerance that his healing factor offered, Jay could only stand so much before he couldn't take anymore. A kick to the face knocked him out cold. Lying still, breathing in short and sharp gasps as his broken ribs poked his lungs, he looked like a sparrow that had flown into the windshield of a moving car. His feathers were ruffled, and a number of them had fallen off his crushed wings. Blood trickled from his lips and nose down his face and onto the pavement underneath him. Broken and battered, he was alone in the alley, not even with anyone to care for him like one might an injured bird.

Smiling satisfactory, Tommy gave the boy another kick to the stomach for good measure. "Serves you right..." He muttered before wiping his bloody hands on Jay's shirt then stood up and put his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t wipe the grin off his face as he moved over to pick up a rag to wipe off his sneakers. As he erased the evidence, he could still here the blood pumping in his ears. So this was the rush the older FOH talked about after a good mutie beating. With a malicious grin, Tommy made a promise to himself to do it more often. One look over his shoulder to ensure the freak wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, and he was heading to the back door.

Taking a deep breath to compose himself, which included schooling his face into a more calm expression though inside he was still beaming, he moved back into the club to find Terry. He knew of a pizza place that was still open and they needed to talk.

Now.


Tommy leaves the club with Terry and takes her to a local pizza place to break up with her.


Tommy moved through the crowd quickly, looking for Terry. He had to get out of here, before someone found Jay in the alley. Finally finding her with a group of people, he grabbed her elbow. "Hey sweetie, can we get out of here? I'm starving and I know this great 24 hour pizza place?" He smiled, putting on all his charm.

Terry jumped when he touched her. She looked away from the HeliX members she'd been chatting with, blinking up at Tommy. "What? But you haven't had a chance to meet anyone yet? I wanted to introduce you to Jay and some other people." She glanced around, looking for her friend. "That's weird, I don't see him."

"I met him on the way back from the bathroom, nice kid." Nice in a filthy faggot sort of way. "And there's something really important I need to talk to you about..." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Come on..."

"I…you did?" She let him pull her away, giving the girl she'd been talking to a quick wave. She smiled, "He's great, isn't he? I have to be honest, I was worried. There was this guy I liked a while back and he turned out to be this crazy bigot." Terry rolled her eyes, relieved that Tommy wasn't going to be like Mike.

"Bigot is such a harsh word." Great, so he wouldn't be the first person to let her down because she was a mutant-lover. Beating the mutant had been more fun then this. "Come on," He wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked outside. "I'd rather not have this conversation here..."

Terry frowned but stayed silent until they got to the pizza place. The way there she was turning over and over his comments in her head, wondering what 'this conversation' meant and why he'd rushed her out of the club so fast. "I don't think bigot is too harsh at all," she said as they stepped inside, "It's perfectly accurate to call a narrow minded idiot who thinks that people who are different are somehow less human a bigot. That's what the term means."

Tommy waited until they were seated in a booth and ordered before he leaned forward and took Terry's hand. "Helix is the organization you were talking before, correct? The activist one..."

She nodded, "It restores your faith in people, seeing a group of mutants and non-mutant sitting around, everyone getting along just being kids. We're not trying to win any battles or anything." She smiled, "You should come to the next meeting. Everyone is really nice and we love having new people show up. Reminds us that not everyone is like those Friends of Humanity jerks." She rolled her eyes, "I don't understand how they can call themselves friends when all they do is promote hate."

"Alls they do is promote hate hmmm? Did you ever think that maybe it's for the best, maybe they are working for a better world...without mutants?" He smirked, wondering if she was getting his drift. Tommy dug around in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "I remember a few months ago, they burned down a coffee shop. Firemen say the fire was started by a cigarette butt..." He took one out and put it in his mouth, his hand fiddling with a lighter, his smirk growing around it.

Terry stared at him in horror. "You can't possibly think that." She leaned forward and took the cigarette out of his mouth and threw it on the table. "The owners of that coffee shop lost everything. Normal humans who just were open-hearted enough to want to further understanding instead of hate. Mutants aren't going away just because some people don't like their world view changed, Tommy."

Sighing, he shook his head, clucking softly. "Terry Terry Terry...you don't get it do you? Well I have a secret for you..." He waggled a finger at her to lean closer. "I started that fire..." His feral grin returned as he spoke in a stage whisper.

Terry wasn't sure how exactly she ended up on her feet, backing away from the booth, shaking with rage. "Yeh could have killed people! What kind of sick person would do that?"

Tommy leaned back in the seat, smirking up at her. "Now dear, didn't you hear? Everyone in the place was knocked out and moved a safe distance away...my friends and I just wanted to teach them a lesson, Sympathizing with mutants will get you no where..."

"Yes, I heard. I was there. Yeh ruined their lives." Terry shook her head violently, red curls flying, "I don't understand. Yeh said yeh met Jay. That yeh liked him but how can yeh say that and be . . ." She trailed off, not knowing what to say. She'd liked him. Thought he could be someone who would really understand. "Why did yeh bring me here if yeh hate mutants like yeh do?"

"Look, despite the whole mutant thing...I did like you. You’re the best girl I've ever known." Tommy's smirk vanished to show he was serious. "I wanted to let you down easy...Helix and FOH don't mix and neither should we..." He didn't mention she was lucky this was all he was doing and that if he found out anybody from his group hurt her, they would pay.

"This is easy?" Terry said incredulously. She had crap judgment in guys. That's all there was to it. "Yeh tell me that yeh threatened my friends and that's easy? Get out of me sight. I don't want anything to do with yer kind." She saved him the trouble by grabbing her jacket and running out, tears welling up in her eyes.

Tommy sighed and waited for the food before asking if they could wrap it up. After paying he took the pizza back to where he was meeting Josh, Duncan and the twins. They'd eat the pizza, which was good because he'd suddenly lost his appetite...



Wondering where Jay and Tommy got too, Forge makes an unfortunate discovery.

Forge smiled awkwardly, not hearing whatever it was Terry was trying to say over the noise of the crowd. Jay's set had been... well, while not his style of music, he had to admit his roommate was talented. Waving his empty soda glass at the redhead, he stood and made his way through the thinning crowd to the bar.

Funny, he thought. He could have sworn that Jay and... whatshisname, Terry's boyfriend, had been here just a second ago. Motioning the bartender with a wiggle of the glass, Forge leaned over the bar.

"Hey!" he called, "the singer from tonight, with the wings? Where'd he get to?" At the jerk of a thumb, Forge turned to look at the back door. Leaving his glass on the bar, he walked briskly to the door and out into the alley. He'd thought - Tommy, that was his name – seemed more of Jay's type than Terry's, but still... things could be awkward if Jay was going to steal her boyfriend right out from under her nose.

Stepping into the alley, Forge almost tripped over what he assumed was a pile of garbage, until he noticed the streaks of blood against the brick wall of the club, and the scarlet feathers matted together with even darker red.

"...fuck." Forge dropped to a knee, trying to find Jay's face in the midst of where he lay curled into a tight fetal ball. "Jay? JAY! Man, say something, say anything, Jesus man, get
up..."

He could hear something. Was it words? Or was it just noise? Jay couldn't make it out. It sounded muffled, dampened, like someone was trying to formulate speech underwater.

Underwater? Jay could feel the pressure squeezing him, could feel his openings slowly closing up, could feel himself suffocating as he tried to inhale. And someone was touching him. Calloused but warm skin on his face . . . Oh God, it was Kevin!

Jay remembered. He'd been beaten by the Cabots for lying with Kevin. They'd called him a dirty mutant faggot and beat him and tried to kill him. And then Kevin dragged him into the water so they could die and ascend to Heaven together and be together forever. But then Jay got better and woke up at the bottom of the lake, cradled by the cold bloated corpse of his lover.

Jay had to get up. He had to get out of the water now. Maybe there was still a chance to save Kevin. Maybe everything had been a dream and Kevin was still alive. He could save him. The hand did feel warm, after all, so there was a chance.

"Kevin . . ." Jay moaned, although the name was hard to make out as his lips were almost sealed shut by the dried blood on his face.

Forge paused. "Kevin?" Oh shit, Forge immediately recognized the name. If Jay was thinking about his dead boyfriend, this was bad. "Jay? Jay, stay with me, man." Forge's fingers felt around Jay's neck and shoulders like he'd learned in the rudimentary first aid course. His pulse was there, weak but steady. Nothing bulging, no neck injury, he could move him, check his airway. "Jay, it's Forge. Say something to me, Jay. Be okay. What the hell, where's Tommy? What the fuck happened?"

With his free hand, Forge fumbled for his cell phone, drawing it out of his pocket. No signal. "Fucking great," he mumbled, then threw the phone against the wall in frustration, listening to it shatter. "Jay, we've got to get you some help. Are you--"

Then he noticed the twisted angle Jay's wings were at. Like someone had draped them over the curb and stomped... "Motherfucker..." Forge breathed, suddenly having everything click into place in his mind. Tommy. The Coffeequake fire. Jay lying in a bloody heap. Tommy smiling and kissing Terry. Tommy sneering at the filthy muties and dropping his cigarette in the puddle of gasoline. Jay's blood on his hands.

"Come on, buddy, we're getting you some help." Forge tried to work his arm under Jay's, struggling to lift his larger roommate. "I'll get you home, I'll take care of you."

"Forge?" Jay mumbled. Who's Forge? What kind of name was Forge anyway? And trying to answer those questions hurt. Like someone was trying to smash open his head with a jackhammer. Hell, his whole body hurt. Not an inch of him felt anything but pain. It hurt to think, it hurt to breathe, it hurt to move . . . But he had to ignore the searing aches holding his body captive and get a move on. Someone's life depended on it. "Can't go," he said, resisting Forge's futile attempts to get him up. "Can't. Kev needs me."

"Kev needs... shit." Forge dragged Jay up into a sitting position. This was worse than when he and Kyle had gone at it tooth and claw, seriously bad. Making sure Jay could hold his head up and not choke on any blood, Forge yanked the back door to the club open, straining his voice to shout over the crowd and the music.

"Ambulance! Someone get off your fucking barstool and call a goddamn ambulance!"

As people stared, he ducked back into the alley, struggling to lift Jay to his feet. "Jay, who did this? Was it Tommy? Where the hell is he?" Forge suddenly realized that he had his back to a very dark alley, and his hands were busy trying to lift his friend. Scenarios ran through his mind, unwilling flashbacks to similar incidents. He knew what it was like to take a beating, but not like this. Never like this.

The bartender (although he didn't think it was such an apt term, as it was more of a juice bar that he tended, not an alcohol bar), all but jumped out from behind the counter to help Forge with Jay. He was a large, thick guy, in his mid-twenties, whose big hands belied the tenderness with which he helped Forge carry Jay. With some effort, they got Jay inside.

Jay could feel more hands on him, but these were much bigger and even more calloused than the other one. Definitely not Kev's. And he could hear more now, not just the blood pounding in his ears like an overly obnoxious bass machine. He tried to crack open his eyes, but found that impossible, as if there were weights tied to his eyelids.

"Tommy?" he repeated weakly. First Forge, now Tommy. Who are these people? And why won't they let him get Kev?

"Phone!" Forge yelled back into the club. No one seemed to be moving. Where was Terry? Shit, if Tommy had found her too - Forge shook his head. Terry wasn't the one bleeding in the alley. Taking a quick step inside, Forge snatched a cell phone away from a teenaged girl yapping like a moron. As she opened her mouth to protest, Forge snapped his metal fingers in front of her face, startling her. "You'll call them back," he intoned, dialing the mansion's emergency number from memory.

"This is Forge, we're at the club with Jay, he's hurt. Send help." Hanging up, he tossed the phone back and darted back out to the alley where a few people had gathered to see what the fuss was about.

Jay looked even worse under the bare light bulb that hung over the club's back door. His face was a mask of red-brown blood, already starting to clot in his hair. His hands weakly tried to clutch at his ribs, and his wings - god, who could DO that? Forge winced visibly.

"It's okay, Jay," he said as calmly as he could, kneeling next to his friend. "Help's on the way."

This person called him Jay, but that was Manuelo's nickname for him. Everyone else called him Josh. Why was this fellow calling him Jay? Was it Manuelo? No, couldn't be. He had soft hands. Always carried around a bottle of hand lotion, which was the source of much amusement among Jay and the other guys.

He tried to open his eyes again, and this time managed to crack them open just a bit. Everything looked blurry, like he was still underwater, and he had to fight a wave of nausea that threatened to throw him back down on the ground. But then he saw the long black hair, facial stubble, and silver hand that belonged to . . . Forge.

It all came back in one shining burst of clarity. "Forge!" he cried, his voice raspy because it was so dry. He doubled over in pain, as it felt like his insides wanted OUT and wouldn't take no for an answer. "Jesus fuckin' Chirst," he whimpered, feeling his eyes sting as warm, salty tears fell down his face.

Forge let out a loud breath. "Take it easy, Jay," he ordered, "you're hurt, and help's coming. Try... try not to think about it, just listen to my voice, okay? You're going to be all right. I'm right here, everything's going to be okay." As soon as the words left his mouth, he knew he was lying. Nothing was going to be all right, not after this.

"Oh God, what'd Ah do?" Jay moaned pathetically. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop himself from crying, but that only made it worse. It wasn't long before he was bawling, his body shaking so violently that it exacerbated already intolerable pain. He buried his face in his hands, his body racking with silent sobs, as his mind replayed images from earlier tonight.

Performing at the club for kids who didn't care that he had big red wings sprouting out of his back. Flirting with the most handsome fellow he'd seen in a long time, who flirted back. Petting and kissing him in the alley . . . Getting slammed, punched, kicked, and ripped apart by the same Adonis moments later. Being left for dead after the assault. Again.

Accepting a wet rag from someone, Forge began trying to mop at Jay's bloodstreaked face. Already he could see the smallest abrasions beginning to close, but there was just so much blood...

"You didn't do anything wrong," Forge insisted. "Listen to me, Jay, you did nothing wrong. This is not your fault, don't even begin to say that, don't think that. We'll get you home, you'll heal up, we'll get the son of a bitch who did this, I promise. I promise."

Jay let Forge clean him up. Not like he could fight back if he wanted to. He was panting now, as the sobbing left him desperate for air. But each intake of breath hurt, like someone was poking his chest with hot metal stakes. He realized that his ribs must be broken.

"Inn't it?" he asked. "Shouldn'a been so easy. Ah's just a good-for-nuthin' slut, gon' out wif a strange fella like 'im." He held a hand up to his mouth as he coughed, spraying his fist with dark red blood. "He called me a faggot. A no good mutie fag. An' inn't he right?"

"Jesus, no," Forge swore, cautiously laying a hand on Jay's shoulder. "If getting yourself burned for bad romantic ideas is a hanging offense, I think me and Dr. McCoy are right up there on the gallows with you. This is NOT your fault, Jay. Listen to me, you've got to believe me, this is not your fault." He looked down the alley to see a familiar shock of red hair darting towards them and smiled.

"Doc's here, Jay. We're going to get you home."