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xp_logsFollowing the news Alison gives her at the end of this meeting, Amanda makes a phone call. There's some reassurance, Romany-style.
Somehow the phone was there, under her hands without
her realising she'd even returned to her room. She
remembered listening to Alison, the carefully factual
explanation of what Pete had done, where he was, and
nodding, thanking the woman politely for her time and
leaving. The numbness had set in after she'd closed
Alison's office door behind her. But now she was in
her room, the phone in her hands, fingers tapping out
a long distance number she knew by heart now.
"Amanda?"
"Rom, did anyone tell you that's bloody creepy? How'd
you know it was me?"
"The number for Xavier's shows on the phone when you call,
Amanda. Nothing particularly creepy about that."
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence, Amanda's face and ears
flaming with embarrassment, broken by Romany's sudden
question:
"So, they told you?"
"About Pete? Yeah. Alison told me today. All nice an'
factual. Rom... is it..."
"Finish that question with 'my fault' and it'll go
badly for you, my girl."
"But..." She tried to say it any way.
"No buts about it, Amanda. You think this is the first
time Peter's done something this stupid? This isn't
about you, it's about him continuing a long history
of doing the stupidest possible thing at the worst
possible time."
Amanda barely repressed the derisive snort. "'Stupid'?
Hell of a way t' put joinin' those bastards, Rom. You
know as well as any of us what they did. What the fuck
does he think he'll get out of this?"
"His family, safe. A guarantee that you and I and the
school will stay out of the line of fire - if he's
White King, they'd need his support to go after any of
us." Romany's tone was crisp, matter-of-fact, giving
nothing away of how she might be feeling about the
situation.
"...and what makes you think he wouldn't give it,
Rom?" she asked, in a small voice. Part of her
couldn't believe Pete would do such a thing, but then
again, she'd never thought he'd join the Hellfire Club
in the first place.
"Because regardless of how horrible he is sometimes,
or the things that he'll do, and even enjoy, he's
still my little brother, Amanda. I helped
raise him, and maybe I didn't do that good a job of
it, but I do know him. Even when he's at his
worst, he still cares for his family. And that
includes silly girls who ought to know better."
Amanda was silent for a long while, and then asked:
"Aren't you worried at all, Rom? 'Bout what happen?
What they might make him do? T' prove he's one of
them?"
"I always worry, Amanda. But Peter's a grown up, or
at least as grown up as he's going to get, and he
gets to make his own choices. I've already had
this argument with him a hundred times, and I've
already told him that I'm terrified he'll get
himself killed one day. And he listens, and he's
says he's sorry and he goes right ahead and does
whatever it is he thinks needs doing anyway. And
sometimes I'm proud of him, and sometimes I want
to kill him, and other times I'm just scared..."
Now there was emotion, a tired, worried-sounding sigh.
"I won't tell you how to feel, Amanda, but I don't
think we need to give up on him just yet. He still
cares about us, you and I, even if I wish he'd just
learn to show it like a normal person."
"How could he choose this, Rom? I know Pete's
no angel, but t' join them?" Amanda said,
almost plaintively.
"People make choices for all sorts of reasons,
Amanda," Romany told her, her voice thin and distant
over the long-distance line. "Peter has done some
appalling things in the past, and enjoyed them. I
don't think you quite understand quite how bad he can
be." It was impossible to tell what Romany was
thinking, or feeling. "But even at his worst, he's
never forgot his family. I won't give up on him now."
"I..." Amanda paused, not sure of what she was going
to say. She wanted to believe Romany, wanted to
believe her 'Uncle Pete' hadn't vanished beneath the
vestments of the White King. But it was difficult. "I
wish none of this had happened, Rom," she said at
last, voice cracking a little.
"Sometimes things happen for a reason, Amanda," Romany
replied, her own tones softening a touch. "We all have
to choose which paths we follow, eventually, and
sometimes false turns happen to be something else
altogether." For a moment a certain vehemence was
present in her voice, as if she meant more than just
Pete. "He'll come back to us, when he's ready."
"I hope so," Amanda said softly, so softly it was
barely audible. "Thanks, Rom. I needed t' hear...
well, all of it, really. Needed t' know I hadn't..."
Pushed him into a choice that might mean the end for
him. Despite everything, she still couldn't shake the
fact the connection between Pete and the de la Rochas
was her. But she hadn't made him choose to do what
he'd done. She'd been told that too often now. "So,
what d'we do now?"
"We wait," came Romany's slightly-wry reply. "We wait,
and we worry. The same as we usually do."
Somehow the phone was there, under her hands without
her realising she'd even returned to her room. She
remembered listening to Alison, the carefully factual
explanation of what Pete had done, where he was, and
nodding, thanking the woman politely for her time and
leaving. The numbness had set in after she'd closed
Alison's office door behind her. But now she was in
her room, the phone in her hands, fingers tapping out
a long distance number she knew by heart now.
"Amanda?"
"Rom, did anyone tell you that's bloody creepy? How'd
you know it was me?"
"The number for Xavier's shows on the phone when you call,
Amanda. Nothing particularly creepy about that."
"Oh."
There was an awkward silence, Amanda's face and ears
flaming with embarrassment, broken by Romany's sudden
question:
"So, they told you?"
"About Pete? Yeah. Alison told me today. All nice an'
factual. Rom... is it..."
"Finish that question with 'my fault' and it'll go
badly for you, my girl."
"But..." She tried to say it any way.
"No buts about it, Amanda. You think this is the first
time Peter's done something this stupid? This isn't
about you, it's about him continuing a long history
of doing the stupidest possible thing at the worst
possible time."
Amanda barely repressed the derisive snort. "'Stupid'?
Hell of a way t' put joinin' those bastards, Rom. You
know as well as any of us what they did. What the fuck
does he think he'll get out of this?"
"His family, safe. A guarantee that you and I and the
school will stay out of the line of fire - if he's
White King, they'd need his support to go after any of
us." Romany's tone was crisp, matter-of-fact, giving
nothing away of how she might be feeling about the
situation.
"...and what makes you think he wouldn't give it,
Rom?" she asked, in a small voice. Part of her
couldn't believe Pete would do such a thing, but then
again, she'd never thought he'd join the Hellfire Club
in the first place.
"Because regardless of how horrible he is sometimes,
or the things that he'll do, and even enjoy, he's
still my little brother, Amanda. I helped
raise him, and maybe I didn't do that good a job of
it, but I do know him. Even when he's at his
worst, he still cares for his family. And that
includes silly girls who ought to know better."
Amanda was silent for a long while, and then asked:
"Aren't you worried at all, Rom? 'Bout what happen?
What they might make him do? T' prove he's one of
them?"
"I always worry, Amanda. But Peter's a grown up, or
at least as grown up as he's going to get, and he
gets to make his own choices. I've already had
this argument with him a hundred times, and I've
already told him that I'm terrified he'll get
himself killed one day. And he listens, and he's
says he's sorry and he goes right ahead and does
whatever it is he thinks needs doing anyway. And
sometimes I'm proud of him, and sometimes I want
to kill him, and other times I'm just scared..."
Now there was emotion, a tired, worried-sounding sigh.
"I won't tell you how to feel, Amanda, but I don't
think we need to give up on him just yet. He still
cares about us, you and I, even if I wish he'd just
learn to show it like a normal person."
"How could he choose this, Rom? I know Pete's
no angel, but t' join them?" Amanda said,
almost plaintively.
"People make choices for all sorts of reasons,
Amanda," Romany told her, her voice thin and distant
over the long-distance line. "Peter has done some
appalling things in the past, and enjoyed them. I
don't think you quite understand quite how bad he can
be." It was impossible to tell what Romany was
thinking, or feeling. "But even at his worst, he's
never forgot his family. I won't give up on him now."
"I..." Amanda paused, not sure of what she was going
to say. She wanted to believe Romany, wanted to
believe her 'Uncle Pete' hadn't vanished beneath the
vestments of the White King. But it was difficult. "I
wish none of this had happened, Rom," she said at
last, voice cracking a little.
"Sometimes things happen for a reason, Amanda," Romany
replied, her own tones softening a touch. "We all have
to choose which paths we follow, eventually, and
sometimes false turns happen to be something else
altogether." For a moment a certain vehemence was
present in her voice, as if she meant more than just
Pete. "He'll come back to us, when he's ready."
"I hope so," Amanda said softly, so softly it was
barely audible. "Thanks, Rom. I needed t' hear...
well, all of it, really. Needed t' know I hadn't..."
Pushed him into a choice that might mean the end for
him. Despite everything, she still couldn't shake the
fact the connection between Pete and the de la Rochas
was her. But she hadn't made him choose to do what
he'd done. She'd been told that too often now. "So,
what d'we do now?"
"We wait," came Romany's slightly-wry reply. "We wait,
and we worry. The same as we usually do."
