xp_logs | Amanda and Clarice

Clarice seeks Amanda out to check on her after she has had some time to adjust to taking care of Meggan. They end up discussing bigots, doing the most good and life in general. Yay for friendship.

"Hey," Clarice teleported down to the back porch, unintentionally scaring Amanda. "Was hoping I'd find you here," she remarked, climing on the railing to sit.

Amanda coughed, nearly inhaling the cigarette she'd been smoking at the unexpected appearance. "Hey, pixie," she said once she'd recovered. "How's it goin'?"

Clarice nodded, "Can't complain. I wanted to ask you the same thing, actually," to say that she'd been shocked when Amanda had come home announcing that she'd brought a kid with her, that it looked like she was going to raise, was an understatement.

"Not bad," Amanda said with a slight smile. She and Manuel were beginning to patch things back up, and Meggan was settling in nicely. "'S been hard, sortin' things out, but I'm gettin' there."

"You ready to be a parent?" Clarice asked, playing with a lock of hair and biting her lip, "I mean, I know Dani's gonna have a baby and all, but I mean...I don't think I could do it, you know?"

"No, I'm not," Amanda replied frankly. "'S why I came back here, 'cause I need help. But she needs me t' do it, an' I took the job on, so I'll do me best." She could understand Clarice's confusion - hell, if someone had suggested to her before it happened that she'd be raising a kid, she'd have thought they were crazy. "We're gunna sort out papers an' all for her, get my birth mum t' adopt her properly so she's me kid sister more 'n my kid. But I'll be lookin' after her the same. Owe it t' her, since I was the one that got her out - I won't leave her t' foster homes an' the like." Like had been done to her, she added silently.

Nodding, Clarice understood that, at least, how Amanda would feel that way. And she had to admit she would ahve done the same, too, had their roles been reversed, but maybe without her mom adopting the kid. "Yeah, I understand that. I mean...how many people here were in foster care? Or ran away from it? I wouldn't leave any mutant to foster care."

"Me, for one," Amanda said with a nod. "An' even tho' I'm not as obvious a mutant as Meggan or you, I had a pretty bloody crappy time. Ended up runnin' away an' livin' on the streets 'cause of it."

"Exactly, and you aren't the only one. Probably half the people here are from foster families, adopted families, runaways, or thrown out. That isn't the kind of life you want for anyone," Clarice looked at Amanda for a minute, unsure what to say next, "I guess...I dunno. I'm proud, though."

Well, that was unexpected. Amanda had had so many adults telling her she didn't know what raising a child entailed, she hadn't expected anyone to say that. "Thanks," she said, smiling broadly at Clarice - it was a _good_ feeling. "I know there's a fuck load of work t' do, an' a bunch of stuff I have t' change or give up, but if she's happy an' healthy, then it's worth it, yeah?"

"Yeah," again, Clarice nodded and stopped fiddling with her hair. It was a nervous habit that she had tried to break and had obviously failed at. Of course, she also hadn't tried to discuss parenting with her classmate when she was trying to stop. "I guess, that's all you can hope for, sometimes."

Amanda nodded. There wasn't much to say to that. "How're things goin' with you an' Shiro?" she asked, changing the subject since it obviously wasn't a comfortable one for Clarice and they'd said what needed saying, in her opinion at least.

Now Clarice shrugged, noncommittal, "Pretty good. Between me working and his training, plus school, there isn't much time. I don't know how we'd do it if we didn't live here, I mean, that thirty minutes while you get ready for bed becomes important."

"Yeah. 'S odd, how we already have a bunch on our plates, an' then we take more on?" Now she looked at Clarice properly, she could see the changes in the flightly teleporter. "How's the job treatin' you? Worth all the effort?"

"It's like...in that book, Stranger in a Strange Land. The busier you were the more you were expected to do because you could do it. What was one more thing? But if you weren't busy, no one gave you anything, because you obviously couldn't handle the little you did have. It makes a kinda weird sense if you look at it sideways," she paused, considering her next words, "It's long periods of boredom interrupted by short periods of intense terror."

Amanda didn't get the book reference, but she understood what Clarice was getting at. "Worth it, tho'?" she repeated, noticing Clarice hadn't answered that question. "You said somethin' 'bout them givin' you shite 'cause of yer skin colour?"

That. She had been trying to hard to forget that and had almost convinced herself that she was making progress too. Damn it. "One of the guys has all but tattooed FOH on his forehead. Mostly, we avoid each other, but something's gotta be done. We can't work like that, you know? I just don't want to cause a problem if I can help it."

"Why is it you causin' the problem, just 'cause he's a bigoted git?" Amanda asked. "I would've thought in somethin' like that, where you could have t' help out _anyone_, someone like that'd be the problem, not you."

Clarice shook her head, "It's not that...he has seniority. And Doclady found out they didn't hire me originally because I was a mutant, so she kinda made them. So if I make a big deal out of this, it won't look good for me. I'll look like a trouble maker. I'm hoping he'll lighten up. So far it hasn't affected either of our work. I can live with that." For now.

"Beats me why you'd want t' work for people like that, when you could've sorted somethin' with Moira an' Muir," Amanda said with a shrug. "But if it's what you want t' do, then I'm not gunna make things harder for you." A certain look crossed her face, hard to define. "But if anythin' happens, if he does anythin' t' you..." She didn't finish the thought immediately. "It'll get taken care of," she said at last.

"Damn straight," Clarice agreed. She was not about to let herself become a victim of anything. "But it's like...here I get exposure. As a mutant and as an EMT. I can't stay sheltered away here and at Muir forever. I hated staying in my house and I can't stay here all the time either. I don't make as much of a difference here."

Amanda recognised what Clarice meant. Hadn't she stood up in front of a crowd of people and announced she was a mutant? "I get you," she said at last. "An' it's a good thing you're doin'. Just be careful, yeah? First sign of things gettin' ugly, you 'port the hell out of there. Don't hang around an' get the shite beaten out of you."

"Yes, mom," Clarice teased. In truth, she had already told herself that. She'd been lucky for the most part, but that didn't mean she'd stay always be. "I got to go, but I'll see you around, k? Maybe meet the munchkin?"

"I still need you t' sew me some clothes for her - she's too shy of crowds yet for shoppin'," Amanda agreed, swatting Clarice lightly with a grin for the 'mom' comment. "Drop by me room sometime?"

"Yeah, I got some fabrics after you emailed me. Just a couple yards, nothing major," she'd been itching for a simple sewing project and this sounded perfect.

"Sounds good." Amanda stubbed out her cigarette half-smoked. "All right, I'll catch you later, yeah? An' I owe you for the sewin' - once Meg takes me goin' out better, we'll hit that punk club in New York or somethin'?"

"Sure, toodles!" Clarice teleported away, waving.