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xp_logsAfter a stressfull weekend for them both, Alex and Lorna talk about what's bothering them (mostly Manuel and Amanda) and then distract each other.
Alex was lying on his back in the middle of the floor of the living room, his skateboard laying next to him as one hand idly played with one of the wheels. He hadn't moved much since after his conversation on Saturday with Amanda and when he had, he'd been very quiet. The similarities were just too much for him no matter how much he tried to rationalize it. He wished Manuel was out of the box so he could talk to him about it but he couldn't make himself go down and see, and Lorna hadn't been around much, mostly in the kitchen and Alex hadn't wanted to ruin her good mood. Sighing, he closed his eyes and pondered going to sleep again.
Lorna would have laughed if she'd known that Alex thought she was in a good mood. Given the fight with Manuel, the talk with Nathan and her most recent conversation with Samson, her mood was anything but good. Baking calmed her and wedding cakes were sufficiently complicated enough for her to focus on that to the exclusion of all else and her conversation with Alison had been a welcome distraction as well but those were momentary distractions at best. She'd been avoiding Alex, not wanting to put him in the way of her mood nor in the middle of her fight with Manuel who was after all for some unfathomable reason, his friend. She sighed when she nudged the door open and saw him on the floor but the crutches made a stealthy retreat unlikely. "Hey, hon."
Hearing the door open, Alex rolled his head to the side to see who it was. At the sight of Lorna, he limply raised a hand to wave before sitting up slowly. "Hi." He stretched a bit before moving to stand up to see if she needed any help.
She gratefully gave up one of her crutches to lean on him instead. "How are you doing? You're usually asleep when I'm in and out." She kissed his cheek, trying to pretend everything was normal and she wasn't stressed. "Been boarding?"
Carrying the crutch with them, Alex helped her into the bedroom. "Nope." He said simply as she sat on the bed and leaned her crutches against the wall. When she hadn't been around, it had been easier to hide how creeped out he still was, but now with her sitting there, he knew his non-bubbly attitude would signal something wasn't up. Sighing, he sat down beside her and buried his head in her lap.
She curled her fingers into his hair, stroking lightly with her nails. "What's up, love?" It wasn't like him to be so despondent, even when something was bothering him he tended to bounced back fairly quickly. She was sneakily grateful though. It was another distraction to worry about him instead.
They sat in silence for a few moments as Alex let himself relax under the hand in his hair. Then he spoke softly, afraid his voice would crack if he spoke any louder. "I...I had a bad conversation with Amanda...Did you know she drained power from the Black Queen?" It felt silly when he said it aloud, but the thought still sent shivers down his side.
"There were hints of it in the mission file," she replied quietly after a time. "Nothing explicit but her power had to have come from somewhere." She gave a tiny shrug, not dismissing it, just rolling off the vagueness. "Amanda told you she did?"
Alex nodded slowly. "We...we were talking about running away and what happened between her and her boyfriend..." He didn't say Manuel because he needed her right now, not her freaking out. "And I think we got into a fight and it just came out and my brain started making comparisons on how similar their powers are and I kind of freaked out..." He stopped to take a breath. "And I've kind of been freaking out ever since..."
She didn't say anything right away, sorting through her own emotions on the subject and setting aside the instinct to protect him rather than listen and understand. "It's okay to freak out. You know Amanda isn't the same as Selene. There's no way to tell your heart that logic says it's not the same. All you can do is understand that being scared isn't something that you have to live with forever. Time makes us stronger, we already know that." She spoke softly, focusing on letting him know she was there for him no matter what.
He nodded again, thinking that over in the silence. It made sense, perfect sense. And he wasn't being unreasonable freaking out. Okay, his problem solved...now..."I saw the thread with Manuel...you okay?"
She sighed. "I'm sorry about that. Is it incredibly childish of me to say that he started it?" She ran both hands through her hair and flopped back onto the bed. "Nathan asked me about it too. I hate having people see me freak out. It never helps."
Sitting up slightly, Alex crawled up the bed so he could cuddle against her, burying his head in her neck. "Frankly, I thought you were both being childish. What did Nathan ask about it?" Then he picked up his head to kiss her cheek. He hated hearing her apologize to him for something he knew she wasn't the slightest bit sorry for. "And don't apologize to me...He may be my friend, but you're my everything. I love you, not him. I understand...really."
"He wanted to know what happened. Said that I had been doing well up until I started to fight with him." She wrapped her arms around him, with another sigh. "I apologized to him too. It's not fair to drag this ugliness out where anyone can see it. Not that I should be harassing him anyway. He's right in saying that's what I did wrong back then." Lorna stared at the ceiling, guilt flattening out her voice.
Not knowing what to say and sensing her guilt, Alex hugged her tighter, cuddling her close. They lay like that for a few moments. "You're working on it...that's all anyone can ask, no matter how ugly it gets." He sighed softly. "I love you..."
She smiled slightly and rested her head against his. "I just wish I could get over this for you. So you didn't have to worry about my hang-ups interfering in your friendships."
"Hey now...I didn't say it bothered me. I was honest when I said you came first...You always come first." He nuzzled her neck with a small smile. "I can't help it that I feel a connection with Manuel...but it's nowhere near the connection I feel with you." Sighing he sat up so he could look down at her. "I love you, your hang-ups and all."
"I know. I love you too." She shifted her eyes away, not really wanting to talk about this anymore. Talking to Nathan had been disturbing enough and no matter what Alex said, she just didn't feel that he was really on her side.
Alex knew her well enough to sense the want of a change of subject. Kissing her cheek one more time as if to reinforce what he said, he changed it to a happier subject. "So, did Nathan also ask about the wedding cake again?"
She relaxed, knowing he wouldn't push any more. She pushed herself up enough to give him a quick thank you kiss. "Yeah. He's super excited. He and Moira are so cute. The wedding is going to be so much fun to cook for."
"Oh I bet he is...I know I would be!" He saw her visibly relax and couldn't help but smile. They would have to broach the subject again, but he loved her too much to see her unhappy for long. "We need something happy to happen in this mansion I can't see anything better than a wedding and two babies on the way..."
Lorna nodded, pulling him back down so she could curl around him, her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart. "And then in just a few months we'll be on our way to Hawaii. It'll be weird being back at a normal university, I think. Any luck getting out of having to live in the freshman dorms?"
Alex sighed as he shook his head, stroking a hand through her hair. "Marriage or medical reasons is the only reasons that would get me out of it and 'mutations do not count as a good enough reason to avoid the dorm experience'." He changed his voice a bit to quote the woman he had talked to on the phone.
"I suppose we should be grateful that mutations aren't considered a good reason for segregation but it's a pain." She frowned, "I don't want to spend a year apart from you just because they have that lame dorm policy. What if you get a roommate I hate? What if I get a roommate who is totally unreasonable?"
"Well, since you'll be in an apartment and have separate bedrooms, they really shouldn't care...I'd just rather have a dorm room I don't use than explain to the school office why I'm afraid to sleep alone..." He half closed his eyes, stretching a bit before settling. "We'll figure it out...nothing is going to keep us apart."
She tilted her head back, unwilling to move very far. "You think I'm just worrying needlessly?" She knew she probably was, the result of leftover tension from earlier. She hugged him tighter. "I just don't want things to be...I don't know. It's just going to be so different."
Not opening his eyes, Alex shook his head, grinning. "No, I'm worried too. It's just not something we have to worry about right now." He held on to her tighter in response to her increased pressure. "And yeah...it will be different. But we'll be together and that's all that matters."
Alex was lying on his back in the middle of the floor of the living room, his skateboard laying next to him as one hand idly played with one of the wheels. He hadn't moved much since after his conversation on Saturday with Amanda and when he had, he'd been very quiet. The similarities were just too much for him no matter how much he tried to rationalize it. He wished Manuel was out of the box so he could talk to him about it but he couldn't make himself go down and see, and Lorna hadn't been around much, mostly in the kitchen and Alex hadn't wanted to ruin her good mood. Sighing, he closed his eyes and pondered going to sleep again.
Lorna would have laughed if she'd known that Alex thought she was in a good mood. Given the fight with Manuel, the talk with Nathan and her most recent conversation with Samson, her mood was anything but good. Baking calmed her and wedding cakes were sufficiently complicated enough for her to focus on that to the exclusion of all else and her conversation with Alison had been a welcome distraction as well but those were momentary distractions at best. She'd been avoiding Alex, not wanting to put him in the way of her mood nor in the middle of her fight with Manuel who was after all for some unfathomable reason, his friend. She sighed when she nudged the door open and saw him on the floor but the crutches made a stealthy retreat unlikely. "Hey, hon."
Hearing the door open, Alex rolled his head to the side to see who it was. At the sight of Lorna, he limply raised a hand to wave before sitting up slowly. "Hi." He stretched a bit before moving to stand up to see if she needed any help.
She gratefully gave up one of her crutches to lean on him instead. "How are you doing? You're usually asleep when I'm in and out." She kissed his cheek, trying to pretend everything was normal and she wasn't stressed. "Been boarding?"
Carrying the crutch with them, Alex helped her into the bedroom. "Nope." He said simply as she sat on the bed and leaned her crutches against the wall. When she hadn't been around, it had been easier to hide how creeped out he still was, but now with her sitting there, he knew his non-bubbly attitude would signal something wasn't up. Sighing, he sat down beside her and buried his head in her lap.
She curled her fingers into his hair, stroking lightly with her nails. "What's up, love?" It wasn't like him to be so despondent, even when something was bothering him he tended to bounced back fairly quickly. She was sneakily grateful though. It was another distraction to worry about him instead.
They sat in silence for a few moments as Alex let himself relax under the hand in his hair. Then he spoke softly, afraid his voice would crack if he spoke any louder. "I...I had a bad conversation with Amanda...Did you know she drained power from the Black Queen?" It felt silly when he said it aloud, but the thought still sent shivers down his side.
"There were hints of it in the mission file," she replied quietly after a time. "Nothing explicit but her power had to have come from somewhere." She gave a tiny shrug, not dismissing it, just rolling off the vagueness. "Amanda told you she did?"
Alex nodded slowly. "We...we were talking about running away and what happened between her and her boyfriend..." He didn't say Manuel because he needed her right now, not her freaking out. "And I think we got into a fight and it just came out and my brain started making comparisons on how similar their powers are and I kind of freaked out..." He stopped to take a breath. "And I've kind of been freaking out ever since..."
She didn't say anything right away, sorting through her own emotions on the subject and setting aside the instinct to protect him rather than listen and understand. "It's okay to freak out. You know Amanda isn't the same as Selene. There's no way to tell your heart that logic says it's not the same. All you can do is understand that being scared isn't something that you have to live with forever. Time makes us stronger, we already know that." She spoke softly, focusing on letting him know she was there for him no matter what.
He nodded again, thinking that over in the silence. It made sense, perfect sense. And he wasn't being unreasonable freaking out. Okay, his problem solved...now..."I saw the thread with Manuel...you okay?"
She sighed. "I'm sorry about that. Is it incredibly childish of me to say that he started it?" She ran both hands through her hair and flopped back onto the bed. "Nathan asked me about it too. I hate having people see me freak out. It never helps."
Sitting up slightly, Alex crawled up the bed so he could cuddle against her, burying his head in her neck. "Frankly, I thought you were both being childish. What did Nathan ask about it?" Then he picked up his head to kiss her cheek. He hated hearing her apologize to him for something he knew she wasn't the slightest bit sorry for. "And don't apologize to me...He may be my friend, but you're my everything. I love you, not him. I understand...really."
"He wanted to know what happened. Said that I had been doing well up until I started to fight with him." She wrapped her arms around him, with another sigh. "I apologized to him too. It's not fair to drag this ugliness out where anyone can see it. Not that I should be harassing him anyway. He's right in saying that's what I did wrong back then." Lorna stared at the ceiling, guilt flattening out her voice.
Not knowing what to say and sensing her guilt, Alex hugged her tighter, cuddling her close. They lay like that for a few moments. "You're working on it...that's all anyone can ask, no matter how ugly it gets." He sighed softly. "I love you..."
She smiled slightly and rested her head against his. "I just wish I could get over this for you. So you didn't have to worry about my hang-ups interfering in your friendships."
"Hey now...I didn't say it bothered me. I was honest when I said you came first...You always come first." He nuzzled her neck with a small smile. "I can't help it that I feel a connection with Manuel...but it's nowhere near the connection I feel with you." Sighing he sat up so he could look down at her. "I love you, your hang-ups and all."
"I know. I love you too." She shifted her eyes away, not really wanting to talk about this anymore. Talking to Nathan had been disturbing enough and no matter what Alex said, she just didn't feel that he was really on her side.
Alex knew her well enough to sense the want of a change of subject. Kissing her cheek one more time as if to reinforce what he said, he changed it to a happier subject. "So, did Nathan also ask about the wedding cake again?"
She relaxed, knowing he wouldn't push any more. She pushed herself up enough to give him a quick thank you kiss. "Yeah. He's super excited. He and Moira are so cute. The wedding is going to be so much fun to cook for."
"Oh I bet he is...I know I would be!" He saw her visibly relax and couldn't help but smile. They would have to broach the subject again, but he loved her too much to see her unhappy for long. "We need something happy to happen in this mansion I can't see anything better than a wedding and two babies on the way..."
Lorna nodded, pulling him back down so she could curl around him, her head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart. "And then in just a few months we'll be on our way to Hawaii. It'll be weird being back at a normal university, I think. Any luck getting out of having to live in the freshman dorms?"
Alex sighed as he shook his head, stroking a hand through her hair. "Marriage or medical reasons is the only reasons that would get me out of it and 'mutations do not count as a good enough reason to avoid the dorm experience'." He changed his voice a bit to quote the woman he had talked to on the phone.
"I suppose we should be grateful that mutations aren't considered a good reason for segregation but it's a pain." She frowned, "I don't want to spend a year apart from you just because they have that lame dorm policy. What if you get a roommate I hate? What if I get a roommate who is totally unreasonable?"
"Well, since you'll be in an apartment and have separate bedrooms, they really shouldn't care...I'd just rather have a dorm room I don't use than explain to the school office why I'm afraid to sleep alone..." He half closed his eyes, stretching a bit before settling. "We'll figure it out...nothing is going to keep us apart."
She tilted her head back, unwilling to move very far. "You think I'm just worrying needlessly?" She knew she probably was, the result of leftover tension from earlier. She hugged him tighter. "I just don't want things to be...I don't know. It's just going to be so different."
Not opening his eyes, Alex shook his head, grinning. "No, I'm worried too. It's just not something we have to worry about right now." He held on to her tighter in response to her increased pressure. "And yeah...it will be different. But we'll be together and that's all that matters."
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