Private email to Paige Guthrie

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To: Guthrie, Paige
From: Ramsey, Doug
Subject: Um.


Paige-

So. Um. Yeah. Remember how I made a really big idiot out of myself when I first got here? Well, um, I'm worried that I might be doing it again. Sort of. And I wanted someone to talk to about this. But I'm not very good at talking, so I figured I'd type it out instead. Can't talk to Jamie about it, scared he'd laugh at me. Can't imagine talking to Alison about it. So I guess that leaves you. Sorry, you're volunteered. And can you tell that I'm stalling? Bleh.

So. Um. Making an idiot out of myself by crushing on someone. Except I know my feelings are for her, and not 'that cute girl with the white streak in her hair'...

...

Oops. Guess that kinda lets the cat out of the bag on who it is, doesn't it.

*sigh*

Yes, I have a raging crush on Marie. Not a word to anyone, please. I'd like to continue laboring under this delusion that she has no idea how I feel.

I just...I'm scared to be honest with her. Because I'm scared of losing her as a friend if I do. I can't imagine she feels the same about me. I mean, she's pretty much said that she's convinced dating is not for her. I just...I'd like to be the one quasi-normal thing in her life. I'd like to be there when she realizes that dating _is_ for her, and that I've been there all along. And I have silly little daydreams about stuff I could do for her, like wear gloves so she doesn't have to, or trying to figure out a way to even kiss her on the cheek...

I'm such a sap. *sigh*

Anyways. Um. I dunno, I don't know what to do, what to say, but it feels kinda good to write this down and tell it to someone.

Just...please don't laugh. And please don't tell her.

Your friend,
Doug

P.S. How's things with Angelo? :)

Comments

Reply to Doug

[x-foliate.livejournal.com]

Doug,

Sorry this took so long to reply. Clearly I need to stop having a life and check my e-mail. The problem is, my life still has me by the collar so I'm going to try to make this to the point. Don't get offended by my bluntness?

I think it's more of a delusion that everyone in the entire mansion doesn't know about Marie, really. But if you'd like to pretend, I'm good with pretending. Not a word to a soul. By the way, Jamie would not laugh at you. Neither would anyone else, including me. Really.

I think that Marie is in a tough time right now. A very, very tough time if what I have heard is true. Therefore, springing up on her that you're madly in love with her? Not so swell a plan. I think that at some point you have to let her know that you would like to be something other than friends but take it seriously slow. Fast annoucements like that... suck. Or cause large amounts of chaos. Or both. You don't want to scare her away.

Right now, more than anything, I believe that she needs a friend. So long as you are there for her, you are doing everything you would be doing otherwise except with less angst. Am I making sense? I'm not sure.

Just give her time and let her know gradually. Large proclamations of your adoration while standing outside her window and playing a banjo might sound cool but in reality are a little bit frightening.

I wish you all the luck in the world, Doug. You deserve it. Do come drag me away from my winter holiday reading list if you need to talk about this some more.

Yours faithfully,
Paige

PS. Good. Complicated. Same as ever!