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xp_logsTuesday afternoon. The limits of what can or can't be done are still being worked out (no pun intended) and a workout in the gym ends up with a trip to the medlab, of the filtering kind. There is a moment of quiet for both Haroun and Alison, however, as a result of this. As bittersweet as it may be.
The simple rhythm and exertion of working out was therapeutic, Alison had discovered long ago. Of course, back then she'd never imagined following the kind of training she underwent now, but still - the truth of it held steady even now. With a short huff, she flexed her leg, bringing the heel up in a slow and steady motion, the leg curl machine's weight set to the maximum she could handle. She'd already lost count with the first set of reps and expected the same to happen this time, even she slowly uncurled her leg, a slight shift of her body prepping up the next one with the other leg.
Haroun was headed into the Gym to get in a little bit of quality time with the free weights. He was breaking personal records left and right, and he wanted to see how high he could push his bench press. His back was feeling pretty good, for a change, and Medlab was coming close to a breakthrough. And hello, his day just got better - Alison was on the leg curl machine, her cute butt wiggling to and fro, hefting what was for her a half-decent amount of weight. He stopped and watched her for a second or two, admiring the sheer sex in her movements.
It only took a few more times before Alison lost count, hitting that mental place where just going on was effortless and felt right, alternating one leg with the other until a low burn started in the back of her thighs. She went through the last two leg curls at a snail's pace, both for the challenge of it and as a cooling down phase, letting out a long sigh as she didn't move for a moment once that was done. The pushing up to a sitting position was done with equal care - but she hadn't pushed too far and after a small break, figured she'd be fine for one of the other machines, Haroun's presence never registering she was so lost in her own thoughts.
Haroun grinned as Alison played the role of Oblivious Lass. He never got tired of looking at her, especially while she was working out. It was one of the joys in his life. But now that she was done, it was past time for him to start his own workout. Instead of the Nautilus machine, he headed straight for Powerlifter Territory - the rather impressive collection of free weights.
It was both sound, and motion at the edge of her vision which drew her attention, Alison going a bit wide-eyed as she realized who was in the gym with her. The exact same person she'd gone out of her way to try and avoid, no less. Even with the implant fix possibility being talked about, the no push order was still firmly in place. And knowing Haroun, this would be pushing. Gah. "Haroun! Hey..." She trailed off, shifting on the seat as she watched him head for the free weights.
Haroun turned to look at Alison. "Hey." he said with a bright and cheerful smile. "Lookin' good. Nice weight there." he said appreciatively, then he went over to the weight rack to begin adding weight to the bench press bar. He didn't stop until he had half again his own bodymass - with the cybernetics! - on the bar.
Ooh, the look on his face. She found herself smiling in response, enjoying the sheer lack of tension there, even as she knew it might not last. Mood swings was a mild way to state the state of affairs lately. She started to say something else and instead stared a bit as he started adding weights. And looked at him more closely. How in the world had she not noticed this, over the past weeks? Her mind made a mental adjustment, changing the word 'weeks' to 'months'. "When you said your muscle mass was changing I hadn't realized you meant that much," she murmured, blinking.
Haroun grinned and flexed for her. "Yeah, it's great! Just a lean mean machine, I am." he grinned. "You gonna stick around? I could use a spotter..." he said with a grin.
The flexing nearly startled a laugh out of her, which she turned into a grin instead, the laughter curling up within instead. It had been a nice flex, after all. And it wasn't entirely surprising she hadn't noticed - she'd been seeing him every day, she reminded herself. The question was now - was this pushing? A few seconds later, Alison made her decision. She was wearing one of those full front tank tops that went up to nearly the throat. He needed a spotter. And if it was one way to stay near him while he was already channeling the excess energy into something else by working out, then it was worth a shot. "Sure, I can do that," she nodded, standing up wander by closer. "Well." She eyed the bar. "I can try."
Haroun grinned. Mmm, staring up at her chest. There were worse fates. He could always amuse himself by remembered what they looked like unfettered, and better yet, what they tasted like and how they reacted to him. Grinning still, he lay flat on the bar and grabbed it intently, waiting for her to take the spotter's position before beginning his set.
Seeing him actually go through the exercise was an eye opener and Alison found herself staring and comparing the fitness he was displaying now to what she remembered, going back further and further in time. There was an appreciable difference there, now that she was looking for it. Which was perfectly explained of course, by the implant's behavior. Which would be patched somehow soon, with any luck. Biting her lip, Alison paid attention to what he was doing, eyeing the bar intently and trying not to let herself get distracted. She had ample reasons not to let herself get distracted. Main among them being that it was dead obvious when she was distracted.
Haroun ripped through his set like a madman. "Do me a favor?" he said, staring up at her chest. "Add a couple more kilos for my next set?" he asked. "About twenty or so will do."
"Twenty?" She blinked, then focused on him. And then what he was staring at. "…twenty. Right." She fetched the weights as soon as he'd paused, setting them onto the bar and securing them there carefully. "How long have you been lifting this much?" Now, to see if staying out of his sight and still playing spotter was possible, she thought.
"A couple of weeks." he said, pouting slightly that he'd lost his most magnificent view. "It's not like I've had much else to do, really." he elaborated, then began his next set. This one didn't get ripped through like the previous one, but he still pumped out the reps with an almost mechanical precision.
Staying out of sight = good. Alison nodded to herself, noting the change in how he approached the reps this time around while trying to ignore how damn cute the pouting had been. The whole no touch regimen was wearing on her fast, though she had every reason to start getting some self-control about that. "You've got the classes, right." Which were more theory than anything else, but still.
"Yeah. Sit in a chair and watch film, or else sit in a chair and try to teach Americans about Arabic." he groused. "I like being physical, doing something with this body." he said as he wrapped up the last of his reps. "Last set. Gimme another fifty kilos." he ordered her.
She added on the fifty, twenty five on each side, without comment. He'd been doing this before and would have without anyone there so spot, after all. And if there was a problem, well - she'd not be able to stop the bar with brute force, but being intelligent about it wouldn't be a problem. Even though it'd sting like hell. "You're set. How long until your back is good enough to take the flight class back to practical?" she asked. He'd been doing a lot better, lately, after all.
"Won't know until after the implant thing gets straightened out. The back thing, they tell me, is a warped couple of balance struts in my feet. Should be a pretty simple replacement job, once the new ones are fabbed." he said. "At a guess, it'll be a few weeks still." He then began his last set, taking this one slower yet, and clearly working hard on his reps.
A few weeks. Alison nodded, hovering a bit closer this time - the reps were work for him now obviously, and having the whole thing slip and fall on him would not help anyone. She didn't think of the implant, or how uncertain that still was, for now and instead remained silent, letting him concentrate on what he was doing.
Haroun finished out the set, but his last reps were slow and somewhat ragged. "Whoo." he said, once the bar was racked again. "Good set. You want a turn? I'll spot you..." he said with a grin.
It would be one way to make him take a break, and though Alison wavered for a moment, she decided to give it a go. It was doing something with him, damn it. And no pushing didn't mean no spending time with him. The grin was answered in kind, and she nodded. "Sure, why not? I don' t usually do the weight lifting thing though," she added, eyeing the bar a bit doubtfully.
"Do you have any idea how much you can bench?" he asked, eyeing her pecs and delts speculatively. And hey, if those muscle groups happened to be covered by her breasts, well, hey, more power to him. "I'm guessing maybe a quarter bodyweight to start? We can add more weight if we have to." he speculated.
Alison looked faintly guilty for a moment. "Actually, I just go as far as I can and work it out that way. Trying to always work with a set weight never really..." she lingered to a stop on that, knowing that most of the regimented work-out types would be horrified at the thought. "It's one of the things I don't plan the death out of. Like the running." A wise nod followed that and Alison set about removing some of the weights on one end of the bar to match his estimate of what she could start with. Several of them in fact, even though the end result seemed rather spare.
Haroun looked at the weight, and then shrugged. She was a girl, they couldn't pack on the upper-body mass that men could. "Go ahead and give it a try." he said, moving into position and trying not to think about ravishing her right there on the weight bench.
Taking her time, Alison settled down, eyeing the bar - didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one, after all, though she did make sure to get the grip right, as she'd seen others before and Haroun just now do so. The start of the lift went a bit more abruptly than expected though she adjusted almost instantly, lips quirking a bit. Well. Apparently that weight level wasn't a problem at all.
Haroun looked down at Alison, then at the bar. "You're lollygagging it. Rack that thing, we need to add some more weight." he said with a disgusted look. "After all, we're here to work, not to feel good about ourselves."
This, she decided, was amusing. It would probably not be amusing soon enough but for now, his reaction hit her funny bone and then some. Placing the bar back in place she watched him add more weights, not really paying attention to how much as much as just watching him. Which she caught herself doing before he did and stopped, studiously studying the bar instead. "I've never done weight-lifting, remember?" she said, listening to the sound of the weights being slid on the bar.
"And self-esteem isn't going to lift the bar." Haroun retorted. Apparently he had second thoughts, as he removed the last weight plate on each side of the bar, then looked at her speculatively again. "OK, try that." he said, again taking his place as a spotter and again trying not to just reach out and ravish her mid-rep.
"Trying away!" A quick glance and Alison estimated he'd more than doubled the weight - whatever it was, though she didn't worry about it. Instead she just took hold of the bar again, adding pressure by increments until she thought she had a good handle on things. And then cleared it from the rack, going to near full extension before lowering, falling into the same pattern he'd been doing earlier.
Haroun watched her pump iron and very nearly exploded in sheer lust. His two favorite activities, both together! He really, really needed to get her to work out with free weights more often. And he needed to get a grip on himself - speculation was fine, but he itched to do, and that was a line he would never cross, no matter how worked up he got.
With a feeling of satisfaction, even though she was certain she wasn't about to switch from her own regular routine to this, Alison worked her way through the set and then set the bar in the rack. Quarter of her weight indeed. Whatever this had been, it had been easy. "That wasn't so hard-" she paused in mid-sentence, getting a good look at him, and mentally called herself about ten kinds of idiot.
Haroun pulled himself back to reality as she spoke. "We can make it harder." he said with a grin. "Very hard. Faster, too. Might be a little uncomfortable, but I think you can handle it when it comes down to it." he grinned. "Think you're up for the challenge?"
A week ago and she would have said yes on the spot, answering his grin and dare with one of her own without a second thought. Now was another story entirely, and somberly she pushed herself up instead, standing up slowly. "I think maybe I should take a rain check on that." The words were said gently, Alison gazing at him contemplatively, looking for signs she knew only too well by now.
"A rain check." Haroun said disbelievingly. "A RAIN CHECK?" he said, more stridently, before getting a hold of himself. "A rain check. Right, yeah, sure. No problem. Later." he said, forcing himself to get a tighter grip on himself. "Hey, I should probably go. I've got a filtering coming up."
"I'll walk you there," Alison decided, not moving away to get her things - simply ready to go now with him. She wasn't about to flee now that she'd disrupted his good mood, not after the expression she'd seen on his face earlier. And she'd done a few of the last filterings herself, after all. "Medlab staff are so busy lately, with everything going on..." Tiredness and worry slipped through at that, though she did her best to not let it show too much.
"Bad idea." Haroun said unflinchingly. "Those sessions can get a little intense, and I would spare you that if I could. Bad enough that Madelyn puts up with it." he grumbled. "I can't guarantee your safety."
So. The filterings had gotten worse since the implant troubles had been discovered. A slow breath, taken in and out - there were, she reflected, so many more uses to Tai Chi than just combat. "I'd rather not hide from that part of things." She was calmer now, at this very moment, than she'd felt in weeks, she realized. Perhaps even longer at that.
"Yes, you would." he said flatly. "But I can't stop you if you're determined to be dumb." He then left things at that and walked out of the Gym to head over to Medical.
The walk to the medlab had been spent in silence, though Alison's calm still hadn't been marred. Had she paused to wonder at it, she might have lost it - but as it was, she was perfectly content to just coast along on the feeling and not think about it any further.
As she'd expected, the door to offices portion of the medlab was firmly shut, a glittery "do not disturb, dude!" sign on the door. "I'll be right back," she told Haroun, ducking inside one of the offices to see who was in and advise them of the incipient filtering. A few minutes later she emerged once more and crossed through the medlab itself, taking a moment to nod at Forge through the windows of one of the labs, before following Haroun into the filtering room.
Haroun nodded to his Scrub Team - which currently consisted of a rather glazed-looking Forge and a diligently at-work Paige - and was just about to head over to his Chair when he sneezed. Mightily. Covering his face, he looked away from everyone else. "I could use a tissue here." he said, voice muffled. "I think Catseye has been in here."
A box of Kleenexes was claimed from a nearby desk and Alison moved to stand by him, holding it up silently. "Here you go." She gazed through the doorway at the Chair, remembering the first time she'd seen Haroun sitting down on it, after the 'incident' with the Synthsilk. That had been before they had stated dating. The memory of the look in his eyes then made her yet again wonder how she could not have realized. At least the door would afford him some privacy during the filtering.
Haroun took a handful of tissues and cleaned himself up as best he could. "No cat hair!" he told his Scrubs, and then adjourned himself to the separate room with the Chair. He sneezed again, but this time he had the appropriate materials to hand and dealt with it easily. "OK. If you're going to do this, then you are all in. Help me get locked down here." he said, taking his place in the chair and strapping his right arm into the cuffs using his left hand. "You get this side." he said, referring to his still-free left side. "We put these in after Madelyn almost had to break my arm to get me to let go of her."
The cuffs were indeed, new - but Madelyn had warned Alison when they'd been installed, quietly, knowing that she might be doing a filtering. And while his words registered and Alison paused briefly at them, expression shadowing, she didn't say a word, following his instructions carefully and making sure the cuff was tight enough to hold but not to cut off circulation. As she did this, she mentally went over the rest of the procedure.
Haroun, once strapped down, nodded to Alison. "OK, the rest of this you know. Go ahead and get it started." he growled. He really, really hated the Chair, and it was always the worst at times like this.
"Hemarin," she murmured, reminding herself to refresh the medication in the delivery pump, to prevent clotting throughout the procedure. The air trap was ready and the various pressure monitors were all in place and functional, though still double checked just to be sure. She then ran the dialyzer through the verification test before hooking up fresh tubes and the pressure monitors.
Gloves were next. New needles were selected from the ready tray on the side, unwrapped from the packaging and then set to the side. The transfer tube, a long thin coil of plastic also at the ready was prepped, one needle cartridge affixed to the end, the tube itself threaded through the thin slots in the arm of the chair and slotted into transfer joint hooked up to the air trap. The same treatment was delivered to another set of cartridge and tube, this one meant to be leading to the arterial pressure monitor and then the blood pump. She checked the venous pressure and the dialyzer inflow monitors one last time, and then nodded.
Inserting the needles themselves was actually the simplest part of the entire procedure - the Shaw Enterprises scientists had actually integrated that to the design plans, and under the right angle and if you knew where to look, the delivery inlets and outlets were easy to find. Alison picked up the outlet needle and rested one thumb on the hollow of his arm, to locate the entry point. Blood needed to be carried through first, the dialyzer filled before the inlet needed could be placed at his wrist.
Haroun clenched his hands into fists as she fussed with the needles and the tubes. "Just get it fucking DONE already." he said, drumming his heels against the base of the chair ominously. "Stupid goddamned machine." he growled, but what he was referring to was a little ambiguous.
The first needle was inserted while he growled, a foot pressing down a nearby plate to active the pump - no need to take off the gloves, Alison simply monitoring the equipment until the dialyzer ran through enough blood for her to hook up the inlet needle. "Started. Won't be long now," she murmured, gaze sliding away from the pressure monitors only long enough for her to locate the inlet needle. No picking it up though - not until the last moment. Just in case.
Haroun just closed his eyes and focused in on his breathing. Ignore the life being sucked out of you, ignore Alison looking all worried and concerned, ignore the Scrub Team working in the next room over, flirting and laughing instead of working to save his ass. Breathe in, breathe out. On the non-filtration side, his hand balled into a fist and the muscles in his arm jumped as he tested the restraints.
Watching the monitors intently, Alison waited as the dialyzer filled at a snail's pace - anything she might try to do to soothe him right now would probably only irk him more. Anything was likely to set him off just now, most particularly, so she kept her quiet and mentally urged the filtering machine to go that much faster. And reached for the needle, intending to set a finger on the inlet at his wrist only long enough to give warning, when the time came.
The time was coming near to end the filtering, and as usual Haroun was almost shuddering from the loss of life, the vitality being sapped right out of him. He let his head drop to his chest, and kept his eyes tightly closed, not sure if he could handle Alison's presence in this room, right now.
She'd spoken to Madelyn about this. And had been told to use her judgment, and most of all to be careful. Warning signs had been specifically described and there was a reason Alison had left the door to the filtering room ajar, only a bit, just the slightest touch - just in case. After one last glance at the filtering machine and the warning monitors there, all in the green, she finally dared to try, removing the gloves and throwing them away. "Haroun." His name was spoken lowly, Alison reaching out hesitantly, fingertips hovering near his cheek.
Haroun didn't react, but he kept his head hung low and his eyes closed. His hands, however, spasmed into something that may have been a fist or merely just a muscle twitch. "I hate this." he said in a low voice. "All the passion, the vitality, the life is gone."
The needles had been secured well enough with surgical tape, the spasm not budging anything in the least. Alison finished the motion, hand pressing against his cheek, slowly but surely. It was both trying to tell him she wasn't going away and reaching out at a moment where she could. "Kismet." It wasn't all that she meant, though, in that single word. "But you still go beyond it with everything else, on the flipside."
Haroun's eyes snapped open, but he did not lift his head. "Hate this." he muttered. "Feel so dead, so lifeless." he grumbled. "Like it's not me, like I'm just a passenger here."
The hand cradling his cheek fell to his shoulder, and Alison shifted on her chair, looking at him intently. She'd asked about this. Madelyn knew she might try. And hadn't told her entirely off for it - had agreed it might work. Just for a little while, but it might work. "You're here. And I am too," she murmured, even as she moved slowly, careful of the arm that was hooked up to the filtering machine, sliding onto his lap with elaborate care, one arm sliding around his shoulders. "Right here."
Haroun looked up at Alison. "Not here. You're out there, I'm inside this shell." he said, jiggling one of his legs. "That's how I live."
She was shifted a bit in his lap by the motion, her weight not a bother to him at all, of course. "But you live." She moved, closing the few inches left between them, holding her breath as she did so. "And maybe I am out there. But I'm not far away. Not going away." She moved her other arm around his neck as well, leaning in closer to rest her forehead against his. The arm of the chair dug in her legs, and she couldn't have cared less.
Haroun looked up, finally, to stare at Alison. "Just far enough." he said, then closed his eyes again and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry." he said, struggling to keep up his energy levels, to stay active and not sink into passivity. "What the hell am I doing?" he asked. "Really?"
She took a slow breath to steady herself, brushing the tip of her nose against his briefly before answering. "You're living, every day. To the fullest. You're not letting what happened stop you, where most people would have given up long ago." Shifting just enough to bring one hand closer, she brushed her knuckles lightly against his cheek, letting a long moment pass. "I'm glad you didn't let it stop you." The machine bleeped quietly in the background, drawing her attention for a second.
Haroun smiled thinly. "If you can call this living." he said, then kissed her briefly. "OK, unhook me from this blasted thing. I think I'm going to go curl up with a good book. Take it easy while I can." he said.
~*~
A Few Moments Earlier
Forge carried the clipboard over to the recovery room, intending to go over the data with Mr. al-Rashid, and perhaps talk a little about the cyberware, something Forge had been interested in for weeks. Haroun would be able to put a more experienced, first-hand relevance to the readouts and schematics, which would put Forge hours ahead of schedule with the redesign.
He paused, looking into the window of the recovery room. Ms. Blaire was sitting on Mr. al-Rashid's lap, right, they're a couple, Forge reminded himself. They seemed to be talking, although Forge couldn't quite tell about what. Watching Alison slide herself across Haroun's legs and curl an arm around him, he smiled a bit unconsciously before tucking the clipboard under his arm and walking back to the lab. What was a few hours in a schedule, anyway?
The simple rhythm and exertion of working out was therapeutic, Alison had discovered long ago. Of course, back then she'd never imagined following the kind of training she underwent now, but still - the truth of it held steady even now. With a short huff, she flexed her leg, bringing the heel up in a slow and steady motion, the leg curl machine's weight set to the maximum she could handle. She'd already lost count with the first set of reps and expected the same to happen this time, even she slowly uncurled her leg, a slight shift of her body prepping up the next one with the other leg.
Haroun was headed into the Gym to get in a little bit of quality time with the free weights. He was breaking personal records left and right, and he wanted to see how high he could push his bench press. His back was feeling pretty good, for a change, and Medlab was coming close to a breakthrough. And hello, his day just got better - Alison was on the leg curl machine, her cute butt wiggling to and fro, hefting what was for her a half-decent amount of weight. He stopped and watched her for a second or two, admiring the sheer sex in her movements.
It only took a few more times before Alison lost count, hitting that mental place where just going on was effortless and felt right, alternating one leg with the other until a low burn started in the back of her thighs. She went through the last two leg curls at a snail's pace, both for the challenge of it and as a cooling down phase, letting out a long sigh as she didn't move for a moment once that was done. The pushing up to a sitting position was done with equal care - but she hadn't pushed too far and after a small break, figured she'd be fine for one of the other machines, Haroun's presence never registering she was so lost in her own thoughts.
Haroun grinned as Alison played the role of Oblivious Lass. He never got tired of looking at her, especially while she was working out. It was one of the joys in his life. But now that she was done, it was past time for him to start his own workout. Instead of the Nautilus machine, he headed straight for Powerlifter Territory - the rather impressive collection of free weights.
It was both sound, and motion at the edge of her vision which drew her attention, Alison going a bit wide-eyed as she realized who was in the gym with her. The exact same person she'd gone out of her way to try and avoid, no less. Even with the implant fix possibility being talked about, the no push order was still firmly in place. And knowing Haroun, this would be pushing. Gah. "Haroun! Hey..." She trailed off, shifting on the seat as she watched him head for the free weights.
Haroun turned to look at Alison. "Hey." he said with a bright and cheerful smile. "Lookin' good. Nice weight there." he said appreciatively, then he went over to the weight rack to begin adding weight to the bench press bar. He didn't stop until he had half again his own bodymass - with the cybernetics! - on the bar.
Ooh, the look on his face. She found herself smiling in response, enjoying the sheer lack of tension there, even as she knew it might not last. Mood swings was a mild way to state the state of affairs lately. She started to say something else and instead stared a bit as he started adding weights. And looked at him more closely. How in the world had she not noticed this, over the past weeks? Her mind made a mental adjustment, changing the word 'weeks' to 'months'. "When you said your muscle mass was changing I hadn't realized you meant that much," she murmured, blinking.
Haroun grinned and flexed for her. "Yeah, it's great! Just a lean mean machine, I am." he grinned. "You gonna stick around? I could use a spotter..." he said with a grin.
The flexing nearly startled a laugh out of her, which she turned into a grin instead, the laughter curling up within instead. It had been a nice flex, after all. And it wasn't entirely surprising she hadn't noticed - she'd been seeing him every day, she reminded herself. The question was now - was this pushing? A few seconds later, Alison made her decision. She was wearing one of those full front tank tops that went up to nearly the throat. He needed a spotter. And if it was one way to stay near him while he was already channeling the excess energy into something else by working out, then it was worth a shot. "Sure, I can do that," she nodded, standing up wander by closer. "Well." She eyed the bar. "I can try."
Haroun grinned. Mmm, staring up at her chest. There were worse fates. He could always amuse himself by remembered what they looked like unfettered, and better yet, what they tasted like and how they reacted to him. Grinning still, he lay flat on the bar and grabbed it intently, waiting for her to take the spotter's position before beginning his set.
Seeing him actually go through the exercise was an eye opener and Alison found herself staring and comparing the fitness he was displaying now to what she remembered, going back further and further in time. There was an appreciable difference there, now that she was looking for it. Which was perfectly explained of course, by the implant's behavior. Which would be patched somehow soon, with any luck. Biting her lip, Alison paid attention to what he was doing, eyeing the bar intently and trying not to let herself get distracted. She had ample reasons not to let herself get distracted. Main among them being that it was dead obvious when she was distracted.
Haroun ripped through his set like a madman. "Do me a favor?" he said, staring up at her chest. "Add a couple more kilos for my next set?" he asked. "About twenty or so will do."
"Twenty?" She blinked, then focused on him. And then what he was staring at. "…twenty. Right." She fetched the weights as soon as he'd paused, setting them onto the bar and securing them there carefully. "How long have you been lifting this much?" Now, to see if staying out of his sight and still playing spotter was possible, she thought.
"A couple of weeks." he said, pouting slightly that he'd lost his most magnificent view. "It's not like I've had much else to do, really." he elaborated, then began his next set. This one didn't get ripped through like the previous one, but he still pumped out the reps with an almost mechanical precision.
Staying out of sight = good. Alison nodded to herself, noting the change in how he approached the reps this time around while trying to ignore how damn cute the pouting had been. The whole no touch regimen was wearing on her fast, though she had every reason to start getting some self-control about that. "You've got the classes, right." Which were more theory than anything else, but still.
"Yeah. Sit in a chair and watch film, or else sit in a chair and try to teach Americans about Arabic." he groused. "I like being physical, doing something with this body." he said as he wrapped up the last of his reps. "Last set. Gimme another fifty kilos." he ordered her.
She added on the fifty, twenty five on each side, without comment. He'd been doing this before and would have without anyone there so spot, after all. And if there was a problem, well - she'd not be able to stop the bar with brute force, but being intelligent about it wouldn't be a problem. Even though it'd sting like hell. "You're set. How long until your back is good enough to take the flight class back to practical?" she asked. He'd been doing a lot better, lately, after all.
"Won't know until after the implant thing gets straightened out. The back thing, they tell me, is a warped couple of balance struts in my feet. Should be a pretty simple replacement job, once the new ones are fabbed." he said. "At a guess, it'll be a few weeks still." He then began his last set, taking this one slower yet, and clearly working hard on his reps.
A few weeks. Alison nodded, hovering a bit closer this time - the reps were work for him now obviously, and having the whole thing slip and fall on him would not help anyone. She didn't think of the implant, or how uncertain that still was, for now and instead remained silent, letting him concentrate on what he was doing.
Haroun finished out the set, but his last reps were slow and somewhat ragged. "Whoo." he said, once the bar was racked again. "Good set. You want a turn? I'll spot you..." he said with a grin.
It would be one way to make him take a break, and though Alison wavered for a moment, she decided to give it a go. It was doing something with him, damn it. And no pushing didn't mean no spending time with him. The grin was answered in kind, and she nodded. "Sure, why not? I don' t usually do the weight lifting thing though," she added, eyeing the bar a bit doubtfully.
"Do you have any idea how much you can bench?" he asked, eyeing her pecs and delts speculatively. And hey, if those muscle groups happened to be covered by her breasts, well, hey, more power to him. "I'm guessing maybe a quarter bodyweight to start? We can add more weight if we have to." he speculated.
Alison looked faintly guilty for a moment. "Actually, I just go as far as I can and work it out that way. Trying to always work with a set weight never really..." she lingered to a stop on that, knowing that most of the regimented work-out types would be horrified at the thought. "It's one of the things I don't plan the death out of. Like the running." A wise nod followed that and Alison set about removing some of the weights on one end of the bar to match his estimate of what she could start with. Several of them in fact, even though the end result seemed rather spare.
Haroun looked at the weight, and then shrugged. She was a girl, they couldn't pack on the upper-body mass that men could. "Go ahead and give it a try." he said, moving into position and trying not to think about ravishing her right there on the weight bench.
Taking her time, Alison settled down, eyeing the bar - didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that one, after all, though she did make sure to get the grip right, as she'd seen others before and Haroun just now do so. The start of the lift went a bit more abruptly than expected though she adjusted almost instantly, lips quirking a bit. Well. Apparently that weight level wasn't a problem at all.
Haroun looked down at Alison, then at the bar. "You're lollygagging it. Rack that thing, we need to add some more weight." he said with a disgusted look. "After all, we're here to work, not to feel good about ourselves."
This, she decided, was amusing. It would probably not be amusing soon enough but for now, his reaction hit her funny bone and then some. Placing the bar back in place she watched him add more weights, not really paying attention to how much as much as just watching him. Which she caught herself doing before he did and stopped, studiously studying the bar instead. "I've never done weight-lifting, remember?" she said, listening to the sound of the weights being slid on the bar.
"And self-esteem isn't going to lift the bar." Haroun retorted. Apparently he had second thoughts, as he removed the last weight plate on each side of the bar, then looked at her speculatively again. "OK, try that." he said, again taking his place as a spotter and again trying not to just reach out and ravish her mid-rep.
"Trying away!" A quick glance and Alison estimated he'd more than doubled the weight - whatever it was, though she didn't worry about it. Instead she just took hold of the bar again, adding pressure by increments until she thought she had a good handle on things. And then cleared it from the rack, going to near full extension before lowering, falling into the same pattern he'd been doing earlier.
Haroun watched her pump iron and very nearly exploded in sheer lust. His two favorite activities, both together! He really, really needed to get her to work out with free weights more often. And he needed to get a grip on himself - speculation was fine, but he itched to do, and that was a line he would never cross, no matter how worked up he got.
With a feeling of satisfaction, even though she was certain she wasn't about to switch from her own regular routine to this, Alison worked her way through the set and then set the bar in the rack. Quarter of her weight indeed. Whatever this had been, it had been easy. "That wasn't so hard-" she paused in mid-sentence, getting a good look at him, and mentally called herself about ten kinds of idiot.
Haroun pulled himself back to reality as she spoke. "We can make it harder." he said with a grin. "Very hard. Faster, too. Might be a little uncomfortable, but I think you can handle it when it comes down to it." he grinned. "Think you're up for the challenge?"
A week ago and she would have said yes on the spot, answering his grin and dare with one of her own without a second thought. Now was another story entirely, and somberly she pushed herself up instead, standing up slowly. "I think maybe I should take a rain check on that." The words were said gently, Alison gazing at him contemplatively, looking for signs she knew only too well by now.
"A rain check." Haroun said disbelievingly. "A RAIN CHECK?" he said, more stridently, before getting a hold of himself. "A rain check. Right, yeah, sure. No problem. Later." he said, forcing himself to get a tighter grip on himself. "Hey, I should probably go. I've got a filtering coming up."
"I'll walk you there," Alison decided, not moving away to get her things - simply ready to go now with him. She wasn't about to flee now that she'd disrupted his good mood, not after the expression she'd seen on his face earlier. And she'd done a few of the last filterings herself, after all. "Medlab staff are so busy lately, with everything going on..." Tiredness and worry slipped through at that, though she did her best to not let it show too much.
"Bad idea." Haroun said unflinchingly. "Those sessions can get a little intense, and I would spare you that if I could. Bad enough that Madelyn puts up with it." he grumbled. "I can't guarantee your safety."
So. The filterings had gotten worse since the implant troubles had been discovered. A slow breath, taken in and out - there were, she reflected, so many more uses to Tai Chi than just combat. "I'd rather not hide from that part of things." She was calmer now, at this very moment, than she'd felt in weeks, she realized. Perhaps even longer at that.
"Yes, you would." he said flatly. "But I can't stop you if you're determined to be dumb." He then left things at that and walked out of the Gym to head over to Medical.
The walk to the medlab had been spent in silence, though Alison's calm still hadn't been marred. Had she paused to wonder at it, she might have lost it - but as it was, she was perfectly content to just coast along on the feeling and not think about it any further.
As she'd expected, the door to offices portion of the medlab was firmly shut, a glittery "do not disturb, dude!" sign on the door. "I'll be right back," she told Haroun, ducking inside one of the offices to see who was in and advise them of the incipient filtering. A few minutes later she emerged once more and crossed through the medlab itself, taking a moment to nod at Forge through the windows of one of the labs, before following Haroun into the filtering room.
Haroun nodded to his Scrub Team - which currently consisted of a rather glazed-looking Forge and a diligently at-work Paige - and was just about to head over to his Chair when he sneezed. Mightily. Covering his face, he looked away from everyone else. "I could use a tissue here." he said, voice muffled. "I think Catseye has been in here."
A box of Kleenexes was claimed from a nearby desk and Alison moved to stand by him, holding it up silently. "Here you go." She gazed through the doorway at the Chair, remembering the first time she'd seen Haroun sitting down on it, after the 'incident' with the Synthsilk. That had been before they had stated dating. The memory of the look in his eyes then made her yet again wonder how she could not have realized. At least the door would afford him some privacy during the filtering.
Haroun took a handful of tissues and cleaned himself up as best he could. "No cat hair!" he told his Scrubs, and then adjourned himself to the separate room with the Chair. He sneezed again, but this time he had the appropriate materials to hand and dealt with it easily. "OK. If you're going to do this, then you are all in. Help me get locked down here." he said, taking his place in the chair and strapping his right arm into the cuffs using his left hand. "You get this side." he said, referring to his still-free left side. "We put these in after Madelyn almost had to break my arm to get me to let go of her."
The cuffs were indeed, new - but Madelyn had warned Alison when they'd been installed, quietly, knowing that she might be doing a filtering. And while his words registered and Alison paused briefly at them, expression shadowing, she didn't say a word, following his instructions carefully and making sure the cuff was tight enough to hold but not to cut off circulation. As she did this, she mentally went over the rest of the procedure.
Haroun, once strapped down, nodded to Alison. "OK, the rest of this you know. Go ahead and get it started." he growled. He really, really hated the Chair, and it was always the worst at times like this.
"Hemarin," she murmured, reminding herself to refresh the medication in the delivery pump, to prevent clotting throughout the procedure. The air trap was ready and the various pressure monitors were all in place and functional, though still double checked just to be sure. She then ran the dialyzer through the verification test before hooking up fresh tubes and the pressure monitors.
Gloves were next. New needles were selected from the ready tray on the side, unwrapped from the packaging and then set to the side. The transfer tube, a long thin coil of plastic also at the ready was prepped, one needle cartridge affixed to the end, the tube itself threaded through the thin slots in the arm of the chair and slotted into transfer joint hooked up to the air trap. The same treatment was delivered to another set of cartridge and tube, this one meant to be leading to the arterial pressure monitor and then the blood pump. She checked the venous pressure and the dialyzer inflow monitors one last time, and then nodded.
Inserting the needles themselves was actually the simplest part of the entire procedure - the Shaw Enterprises scientists had actually integrated that to the design plans, and under the right angle and if you knew where to look, the delivery inlets and outlets were easy to find. Alison picked up the outlet needle and rested one thumb on the hollow of his arm, to locate the entry point. Blood needed to be carried through first, the dialyzer filled before the inlet needed could be placed at his wrist.
Haroun clenched his hands into fists as she fussed with the needles and the tubes. "Just get it fucking DONE already." he said, drumming his heels against the base of the chair ominously. "Stupid goddamned machine." he growled, but what he was referring to was a little ambiguous.
The first needle was inserted while he growled, a foot pressing down a nearby plate to active the pump - no need to take off the gloves, Alison simply monitoring the equipment until the dialyzer ran through enough blood for her to hook up the inlet needle. "Started. Won't be long now," she murmured, gaze sliding away from the pressure monitors only long enough for her to locate the inlet needle. No picking it up though - not until the last moment. Just in case.
Haroun just closed his eyes and focused in on his breathing. Ignore the life being sucked out of you, ignore Alison looking all worried and concerned, ignore the Scrub Team working in the next room over, flirting and laughing instead of working to save his ass. Breathe in, breathe out. On the non-filtration side, his hand balled into a fist and the muscles in his arm jumped as he tested the restraints.
Watching the monitors intently, Alison waited as the dialyzer filled at a snail's pace - anything she might try to do to soothe him right now would probably only irk him more. Anything was likely to set him off just now, most particularly, so she kept her quiet and mentally urged the filtering machine to go that much faster. And reached for the needle, intending to set a finger on the inlet at his wrist only long enough to give warning, when the time came.
The time was coming near to end the filtering, and as usual Haroun was almost shuddering from the loss of life, the vitality being sapped right out of him. He let his head drop to his chest, and kept his eyes tightly closed, not sure if he could handle Alison's presence in this room, right now.
She'd spoken to Madelyn about this. And had been told to use her judgment, and most of all to be careful. Warning signs had been specifically described and there was a reason Alison had left the door to the filtering room ajar, only a bit, just the slightest touch - just in case. After one last glance at the filtering machine and the warning monitors there, all in the green, she finally dared to try, removing the gloves and throwing them away. "Haroun." His name was spoken lowly, Alison reaching out hesitantly, fingertips hovering near his cheek.
Haroun didn't react, but he kept his head hung low and his eyes closed. His hands, however, spasmed into something that may have been a fist or merely just a muscle twitch. "I hate this." he said in a low voice. "All the passion, the vitality, the life is gone."
The needles had been secured well enough with surgical tape, the spasm not budging anything in the least. Alison finished the motion, hand pressing against his cheek, slowly but surely. It was both trying to tell him she wasn't going away and reaching out at a moment where she could. "Kismet." It wasn't all that she meant, though, in that single word. "But you still go beyond it with everything else, on the flipside."
Haroun's eyes snapped open, but he did not lift his head. "Hate this." he muttered. "Feel so dead, so lifeless." he grumbled. "Like it's not me, like I'm just a passenger here."
The hand cradling his cheek fell to his shoulder, and Alison shifted on her chair, looking at him intently. She'd asked about this. Madelyn knew she might try. And hadn't told her entirely off for it - had agreed it might work. Just for a little while, but it might work. "You're here. And I am too," she murmured, even as she moved slowly, careful of the arm that was hooked up to the filtering machine, sliding onto his lap with elaborate care, one arm sliding around his shoulders. "Right here."
Haroun looked up at Alison. "Not here. You're out there, I'm inside this shell." he said, jiggling one of his legs. "That's how I live."
She was shifted a bit in his lap by the motion, her weight not a bother to him at all, of course. "But you live." She moved, closing the few inches left between them, holding her breath as she did so. "And maybe I am out there. But I'm not far away. Not going away." She moved her other arm around his neck as well, leaning in closer to rest her forehead against his. The arm of the chair dug in her legs, and she couldn't have cared less.
Haroun looked up, finally, to stare at Alison. "Just far enough." he said, then closed his eyes again and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry." he said, struggling to keep up his energy levels, to stay active and not sink into passivity. "What the hell am I doing?" he asked. "Really?"
She took a slow breath to steady herself, brushing the tip of her nose against his briefly before answering. "You're living, every day. To the fullest. You're not letting what happened stop you, where most people would have given up long ago." Shifting just enough to bring one hand closer, she brushed her knuckles lightly against his cheek, letting a long moment pass. "I'm glad you didn't let it stop you." The machine bleeped quietly in the background, drawing her attention for a second.
Haroun smiled thinly. "If you can call this living." he said, then kissed her briefly. "OK, unhook me from this blasted thing. I think I'm going to go curl up with a good book. Take it easy while I can." he said.
~*~
A Few Moments Earlier
Forge carried the clipboard over to the recovery room, intending to go over the data with Mr. al-Rashid, and perhaps talk a little about the cyberware, something Forge had been interested in for weeks. Haroun would be able to put a more experienced, first-hand relevance to the readouts and schematics, which would put Forge hours ahead of schedule with the redesign.
He paused, looking into the window of the recovery room. Ms. Blaire was sitting on Mr. al-Rashid's lap, right, they're a couple, Forge reminded himself. They seemed to be talking, although Forge couldn't quite tell about what. Watching Alison slide herself across Haroun's legs and curl an arm around him, he smiled a bit unconsciously before tucking the clipboard under his arm and walking back to the lab. What was a few hours in a schedule, anyway?
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